Like the Rain
by Lindoreda
Summary: I've always hated the rain. I should've hated him too. The closer he got to me, the more of a risk he presented. What if he found out about me? Somehow, I couldn't bring myself to care. Zemyx, Akuroku.
1. Rain, Axel, and Roxas

AN: My first real foray into Zemyx. The idea for this story came suddenly, as I was researching cyberpunk. I realized that Zexion would make a fine cyberpunk protagonist. Inevitably, the desires of my friend and unnofficial beta reader Niffstral, interceded, and I ended up with a Zemyx, with (I hope) cyberpunk undertones. Most cyberpunk stories do not end happily, but Niffstral's insistence caused me to come up with an ending that I believe to be worthy, and one that hopefully she'll like. Since the story's just begun, however, the ending is still far off. ^^' This chapter is chock-full of interludes. I was determined not to bring Demyx in immediately, so I incorporated some backstory. Oh, and as an engineering major myself, I sort of had to make fun of them. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Owning would require money, which college students learn to do without.

Chapter 1: Rain, Axel, and Roxas

I've always hated the rain.

It's not that I don't like water. Water is fine. Water from the sky, given proper warning, is also fine. But sudden downpours when you've forgotten your umbrella and you're carrying your laptop must be Kingdom Hearts' way of laughing at you. Those puddles that cars kick up are also a reason to hate rain. I won't bore you by recounting the number of books and electronics those cursed puddles have made me replace.

He was like the rain, like the sudden downpour that short-circuited my laptop battery, the rain that destroyed the reference materials for my term paper and forced me to replace the library books that had been among those reference materials. And yet, unlike the rain, I couldn't bring myself to hate him, and curse the fact that he always caught me unprepared. Call me a masochist, but I think I actually enjoyed it.

I was 18, and a 4th year college student when we met. He was 21 and a 3rd year. My major was computer science, his classical guitar. That we met must have been a freak accident. Axel would call it destiny, I suspect, that a child "genius" like me met a slacker like Demyx, and continued to meet with him. Maybe it was just Kingdom Hearts laughing at me again. Maybe Axel was right. But then again, that we met in the first place wasn't exactly an accident.

* * *

Ignore me. Ignore me. Ignore me. Ignore me. Zexion intoned silently, willing the passerby to do what they were normally content to do without being asked. It would be just his luck if today of all days, the others decided to take notice of the young college senior. If not for the monitoring of the campus wireless network, Zexion would not have done this in the public eye- in a coffee shop, of all places! Luckily, it was unlikely that a normal person could understand exactly what he was typing, especially at the speed at which his fingers moved. They probably think I'm IMing, Zexion thought disdainfully. What else could an 18-year-old boy possibly be doing on his laptop?

"Up to no good again, I see."

Zexion turned his head slightly in the direction of the voice. When his eyes caught a flash of crimson, he turned back around and resumed typing.

"Axel. I believe I told you not to sneak up on me when I'm working on sensitive projects."

"What, you don't want me knowing that you're attempting to gain access to the control system for the traffic lights?" Axel smirked slightly as Zexion turned back to face him, eyes widening in shock.

"How did you know?"

"Some of us took programming classes too. Also, it seems like something you'd do. Start a panic over a problem that affects a lot of people, without directly hurting anyone," the redhead observed. "Calls would pour into city hall, the police, anyone who might be able to solve the problem. And then the people would realize just how powerless the government really is. Something like that?"

"Exactly that," Zexion admitted. "If only they could see just how weak the government has become, people would do something, wouldn't they?"

Axel sighed patiently. "People are weak, Zex. As long as they can go about their daily lives, most are content to do just that. One little thing isn't going to stand in the way of their routines."

Zexion fell silent and resumed typing, undeterred. Axel sighed again, shaking his mane of fiery locks in resignation. "If you weren't my friend, Zex, I would've left when I found out that you were the hacker "Ienzo". I don't want trouble."

"You don't want trouble with the government that won't let you and Roxas get married, should you ever want to." It wasn't a question.

"That's not the government's fault," Axel muttered, his cheeks red at the mention of the blond music student. "The fault for that lies with stupid, bigoted people, who think that marriage is sacred, and that letting people of the same gender marry would somehow interfere with that sanctity."

The clacking sound produced by Zexion's typing filled the silence between them for a while. Axel busied himself with his phone, likely sending sugary text messages to Roxas, who would likely laugh his ass off after reading them.

"How's Roxas today?" Zexion asked disinterestedly. Axel immediately brightened.

"He doesn't have voice lessons today, so he'll actually be home before sundown today," Axel relayed, bouncing up and down in his chair.

"That doesn't really answer my question," Zexion murmured, smirking slightly. "Is he keeping up with the workload?"

"I know you're trying to make a joke about music students having it easy," Axel observed with a grin, "but I think he has it much harder than I do, and I'm studying engineering."

"Slacker engineering," Zexion retorted.

"Materials Science is not slacker engineering!" Axel protested. "It's just easy for me. And the labs are way more fun. Who would make a career out of making circuits? So boring!"

"There must be something that they enjoy about it," Zexion murmured, his typing slowing considerably. Axel glanced up from his phone, noticing the change.

"Almost done?"

"Yeah, I just need to compile. Try to stay off the streets tonight, Axel." Zexion advised gravely.

"You don't have to tell me twice," Axel agreed seriously. "People are crazy enough normally. When infrastructure breaks down…"

"It should take a while for them to neutralize my virus. I suspect that in the meantime, the Heartless will multiply."

"Great. Just what we needed. More Heartless." Axel said as he shot the shadow cast by an awning across the street a suspicious glance.

"They are born from the darkness in people's hearts. And their hearts are especially dark nowadays. The Heartless should be all that you have to worry about in terms of safety, though," Zexion admitted.

Axel's brow knitted in confusion, but quickly smoothed out again. "Don't want them figuring out that you live here, so you sent your virus to another city? Then why would the Heartless here increase?"

Zexion paused, turning his eyes to the gathering dark clouds. "Because it looks like it's going to rain today."

* * *

Zexion's classmates knew better than to try and involve themselves with him. At age 14, Zexion had entered the university. He quickly developed a reputation for being short, distant, straight-laced, and a genius. Compared to his 18-year-old classmates, who spent their days enjoying their freedom with alcohol, drugs, and sex, Zexion was the picture of good behavior and scholarly accomplishment. When approached by others, he was polite and detached. Forming attachments to others held no interest for him.

In other words, Axel was in for a long, rough ride.

It took several months of poking, prodding, delivering food, and overall cheerful, friendly conduct to win his roommate over. Why exactly he bothered was a mystery, but he did not have long to enjoy his victory. The red head began to notice some things in Zexion that the boy had managed to completely conceal from the world at large. The first was that Zexion hated Ansem the Wise, the sainted leader of their country, and he would not say why. The second was that the periwinkle-haired boy wasn't the type to watch T.V., get angry, or not do anything. He simply wasn't the type to go to a protest, or throw a rock at a cop. No, his methods were both more and less direct.

In this manner, "Ienzo" was born. In hacking circles, he's regarded as a god. To various government agencies, he's the most wanted cyber-terrorist in all of Neo Radiant Garden. His real name, age, and location are all unknown. Exactly what he wants is unknown as well. Even Axel doesn't know, though he's perfectly fine remaining unaware.

There are some who theorize that Ienzo is just some kid with a computer, causing trouble for the sake of causing trouble. Others think that he's a former government employee who learned too much, and now is taking revenge on the system. Some believe that Ienzo is actually an anarchist group, and that the name is an acronym. Many are the groups and individuals who've claimed responsibility for the hacking legend. The real Ienzo laughs every time that one of them ends up in a federal prison, and continues his cyber-attacks. He savors every moment of it.

After all, nothing can last forever.

* * *

"Hey Zex," Axel began as he and Zexion made their way to campus. "Now that you're not jailbait and all, what would you think of being set up?"

"Are you asking permission to set me up on a blind date?" Zexion asked cautiously.

"Well, yeah. I know you don't really care about that stuff, but I figure it's something you should at least try once, right?"

"Is that the line that you used on Roxas, after convincing him that you were madly in love with him?" Zexion teased.

"Of course not!" Axel blushed bright red. "It took more than a few lines to convince him to go out with me," he muttered, falling silent. Zexion carefully considered the offer. It could go horribly, and his privacy was paramount to his success. But…

"I don't know…" Zexion began, ready to be interrupted. Axel did not disappoint.

"It could be fun! And Roxas knows someone who could-"

"Oh, so you already have someone in mind, without reference to any hypothetical sexual preference on my part?"

"Well…" Axel trailed off embarrassedly. "Roxas thought this person could add some sunshine to your life."

"And what if I don't like the sun?" Zexion demanded, only half serious.

"Well, you hate rain, so we figured…" Zexion's quiet chuckle calmed Axel's apprehension.

"I suppose I would be willing to meet this person," he admitted.

"Even though he's a guy?"

"If Roxas thinks he could help me, I won't doubt his judgment. Though, I doubt our first encounter will go as well as yours was with Roxas."

* * *

Axel and Roxas met at a talent show, when Roxas was finishing freshman orientation. Axel was the third year that volunteered to run the talent show. No one was entirely sure why, as Axel had never previously shown any interest in being helpful. But one first year had caught his attention during the auditions, and he very much wanted to see their talent. He was not disappointed.

Roxas, being a cello/voice double major, had the seemingly uninteresting talent of playing and singing at the same time. Axel, however, was captivated by the part of the performance that Roxas had done in the audition, and so offered to run the talent show so he would have an excuse to talk to the blond first year. Following the performance, Axel professed love to the unsuspecting blond, and was treated to uproarious laughter. Axel, however, was undeterred.

"How can I convince you that I'm sincere?"

"How do you know that your sincerity matters?" Roxas retorted, short of breath from laughing so hard.

"What?" Axel's eyes widened slightly.

"Maybe I'm straight. Maybe I'm even a homophobe. Maybe you're just not my type."

"The first one is possible," Axel admitted. "But the second is right out. Your rainbow bracelet gives you away. As for the third… I've seen you checking me out." Axel proclaimed with decided cockiness. "I'm obviously your type."

"So you've been paying attention."

"I believe that's often considered a symptom of love."

Roxas considered this for a moment. Unless Axel was a total creeper, he didn't have much to lose. But that was a big "unless."

"I'll go out on one date with you," Roxas began, "and at the end of it, I'll decide if you're sincere or not. We'll go from there."

"You still don't believe me?"

"Would you believe me if I came up to you and told you that I'd fallen in love with you after hearing you sing?"

"I'd think you were having me on, since my singing voice isn't… Well, it's not bad, but it's not good either," Axel admitted sheepishly.

"I've been told by every voice teacher I've ever had that I sound like the most generic boy band singer they've ever heard. Based on that, it's hard to believe you. So take what you can get," Roxas added with a slight smile.

"Point taken. Are you free right now?"

"As free as I'll ever be."

"Then let's go paint the town," Axel replied, holding out his arm.

After each of them was on their third bar of sea salt ice cream, Roxas began to loosen up. So far, he liked Axel. Talk with the red head came naturally, even with a mouth full of ice cream, and it was hard not to like someone who was so honest with his feelings.

Roxas had not expected to wake up naked in Axel's bed, however. When Axel had invited him inside for a late night movie to close off their date, Roxas had basically thrown himself at the older man. How could he have been so stupid? Sex on the first date? Roxas had then proceeded to beat his head against the nearest surface, which happened to be Axel's chest.

"Remembered last night, huh?" Axel asked with a chuckle, his green eyes soft. Roxas looked up in a hurry.

"Were you awake the whole time?" he asked cautiously.

"Yep," Axel affirmed. "I was watching you sleep. And then wake up and freak out."

"Why wouldn't I freak out?" Roxas squeaked, his voice not coming out properly. "I woke up naked in the bed of someone that I met yesterday! And I wasn't even drunk last night!"

"Relax, Roxas. Nothing happened," Axel replied soothingly, gently smoothing Roxas' spiky hair.

"You'll understand if I don't believe you, right?"

"Here's what happened," Axel began, sitting up. "To put it bluntly, you forgot to come up for air, and passed out. My roommate thought you might learn a valuable lesson about throwing yourself at people you barely know if you woke up in an unfamiliar place, with less clothing than normal. You're not naked, by the way. I thought you would be more likely to believe me if we left your boxers."

Roxas cautiously lifted the covers and looked underneath. Sure enough, both of them had their underwear on. "This was your roommate's idea?"

"He's only 17, so I hope you can forgive him. Oh, and forgive me, too," Axel added as an afterthought. "I'm not exactly guiltless. I just made sure you kept your underwear."

Roxas stared at the sheets for several minutes, trying to sort out his feelings. All in all, he'd been quite lucky, and knew that he could trust Axel. "I can't believe I passed out because I forgot to breathe," Roxas mumbled.

"I'm glad you did," Axel admitted. "I'm not sure what I would've done if things had gone any farther. I really love you, ya know. Our little date made me even more sure."

"I believe you," Roxas whispered, still staring at the sheets. He slowly looked up, his clear blue eyes eventually meeting Axel's green. "Can I see you again?"

Axel's smile as he wrapped his arms around the little blond would've been enough to brighten anyone's day. "You can see me anytime you want."

When Axel released him, Roxas located his pants and dug something out of the pocket, handing it to Axel. It was a Popsicle stick with the word "WINNER" on it. "Next time, I'll treat you to ice cream."

* * *

"Zex, out of curiosity, where exactly did you send your virus?"

"Twilight Town," Zexion replied indifferently.

"WHAT?"

"What's wrong with Twilight Town?"

"Zex, that's…" Axel struggled to form a coherent sentence. "That's Roxas' hometown."

"So?"

"So, his family is still there! If something happens to them, it'll be your fault! Sure, Roxas won't know that, but I will."

Zexion's pace slowed as he weighed his options. "I can't send it anywhere else at this point, and it's not like we can warn his family, either."

"Maybe we can," Axel observed.

"How?"

"Roxas doesn't really keep up with the news, so we could tell him that the government has reason to believe that an act of terrorism will happen in Twilight Town soon, but that people should be safe from it if they stay in their houses. He'll assume that his parents ignore the news just as much as he does, and ask them to watch the news before setting foot outside of their house."

Zexion lifted and eyebrow, utterly unconvinced. "Will that really work?"

"If it doesn't, and something happens, it's on your conscience."

"Fair enough."

"Can you live with that?" Axel asked in all seriousness.

"I can live with a lot of things."

* * *

AN: I wonder if you can tell what exactly my major is from this chapter... Or my favorite pairing. I'm pretty sure that the Akuroku interlude was longer than any of the individual parts. ^^' Next chapter means Demydems! As always, show me your love or hate by reviewing! (That includes you, Niff.)


	2. Sunshine and Downpours

AN: Chapter 2! Thanks to Niffstral for beta-ing. ^^ I made those scenes a fair bit longer for you, so enjoy them. First off, Demyx is in this chapter! He's so hard to write... I think I understand his character fairly well, but Zexy is soooo much easier. Second, Zexion has no romantic feelings for Axel. None. This opening section may lead you to think otherwise, but I swear to you, Zexion is a person who values friendship. According to a Secret Report in 358/2 Days, Zexion's the only one that believes in the concept of "Organization Unity," which is where I got the idea from. Thanks to Niffstral, Yumeoni, hearts are for losers and luckless-is-me for reviewing!

Disclaimer: As usual, I don't own anything. I own a copy of every Kingdom Hearts game, in some cases two, but that doesn't mean I own the franchise. T_T

Chapter 2: Sunshine and Downpours

Axel said that the person we were going to meet could "add some sunshine" to my life. It seems unnecessary. Ever since the day we met (though I'd never tell him) Axel was like the sun. Once he met Roxas, that aspect only grew. To those that he cares about, Axel is a big bundle of warmth, lighting the way through the darkest places. I shudder to think what my life would be like if someone else had been my roommate that first year.

Axel was… is… my first friend. He was the only person outside my family that ever thought there could be something of value behind my cold eyes, aside from my staggering intellect. He's the only person who knows Ienzo's true identity. He thinks he found out by accident, but the truth is, I meant for him to find out. I had to know if the sun would leave me. He stayed, and eventually brought Roxas, the mini-sun, into my life.

I wish the three of us could stay together forever.

* * *

When they got back, Roxas was waiting in the living room. While Roxas had just barely beaten them home, he already had a sea salt ice cream bar clamped between his teeth.

"Roxas…" Axel began, preparing to scold the blond. "You promised to cut back on ice cream. Dairy is bad for your voice."

"Starting tomorrow," Roxas assured Axel easily, swallowing the last bite. "Besides, it's not like anyone likes my voice anyway."

"Axel likes it," Zexion reminded him. "From Axel's perspective, that's all that matters."

"Zeeeeex…" Axel whined, hoping for a little more support than that.

"Do you need me for something? If not, I have work to do."

"Oh, that's right!" Roxas exclaimed suddenly, almost dropping his ice cream. "Demyx is here."

"Here? Where?" Axel asked, giving the living room and the hallway a cursory glance.

"Check the balcony," Roxas advised. "He said he was going to go out there and practice for a bit."

"Who is Demyx?" Zexion asked, sounding utterly uninterested.

"He's your set-up!" Axel and Roxas answered in unison.

"Oh, but he doesn't know that," Roxas added. "He just thinks that you're someone we thought he should meet. But you two would probably be good together."

"Why am I not in a hurry to believe you, I wonder?"

Demyx was soon produced, and Zexion had no choice but to sit down and resign himself. His reticence stemmed largely from his immediate impression of the aforementioned music student, i.e. that Demyx only put work into playing guitar and doing his hair. Zexion wondered absently how long it took Demyx to arrange his hair in the morning, given the current style it sported.

"Zexion, huh? Do ya mind if I shorten it to Zexy?" Demyx's voice startled Zexion out of his thoughts.

"I prefer less… cutesy nicknames," Zexion replied calmly. "Is there any particular reason for using that nickname instead of my given name?"

"It takes less effort," was the reply. Zexion felt like someone had dropped a giant boulder on his head. Axel and Roxas thought that this person would be good for him?

"Do as you will," Zexion replied coldly.

"Hey, why do you talk that way?" As Demyx asked the question, Zexion felt his irritation increase. What could those two have been thinking?

"Pardon?"

"Like that!" Demyx exclaimed. "Talk like you're in an old book. Why do you do that?"

"It's not as though I talk this way on purpose," Zexion explained, his patience wearing thin. "I read a lot. It could be attributed to that." This whole thing was a joke. It had to be. He should've known that Roxas would pick an idiot. He'd been a fool not to peg Roxas as the vengeful type.

"That's cool."

"What?" The question was out of Zexion's mouth before he could stop it. He'd thought that Demyx was making fun of him before. He hadn't considered any other possibility.

"I guess that's why you're the genius," Demyx observed with a smile. "You put effort into reading and studying, so you can keep reading harder books, and learning harder things. Unless it's related to music, I can't do that. I'm pretty lazy about everything else."

"I'm sure it's like that for most people," Zexion observed quietly. "You pursue what you like with single-minded determination, and ignore everything else."

"But it's not like that for you." That smile, cheerful yet sad, remained.

"I'm not that different," Zexion disagreed. "I merely like learning about most things. There isn't one clear thing that I like. I chose my major based on other factors."

Silence fell between them, but it wasn't uncomfortable. For now, neither had anything further to say. Zexion found that he was completely unable to read Demyx; the fauxhawked music student was far more complicated than he'd originally assumed. Hearing a scuffle in the kitchen, Zexion turned his head in that direction, finding Axel holding the rest of Roxas's stash of ice cream hostage. Unless Roxas remembered Axel's weakness, he wouldn't be getting the ice cream back. Such were the disadvantages of dating someone more than two heads taller than you.

"Roxas, use the secret technique," Zexion offered with a slight smile.

"What's the secret technique?" Demyx asked curiously.

"Kicking Axel in the shins."

A grunt, followed by a string of curse words indicated that Roxas had indeed kicked Axel in the shins, retrieved the ice cream, and run like hell. Zexion chuckled softly at the scene, but stopped suddenly when he noticed Demyx staring at him.

"Is there something on my face?" Zexion asked disdainfully.

"Oh! No, um… You really like Axel and Roxas, huh?"

"They're my only friends. Of course I like them."

"Yeah, I guess so," Demyx agreed, embarrassed. "I can see why Roxas wanted me to meet you."

"Oh?" Zexion had to commend Demyx's powers of observation, still having not quite figured out why Roxas wanted him to meet Demyx.

"Yeah. Bear with me, this is gonna be an odd explanation. I've seen you before, you know," Demyx began. "It always seemed like you were a mirror, reflecting other people's light, without having any light of your own. You always looked so blank. Now I see why that was. You actually absorb the light that others cast on you, and cherish it so much that you don't let it shine where others can see it. I dunno if that makes any sense," Demyx admitted, scratching the back of his head awkwardly.

"Well, it certainly was different," Zexion admitted. "But I think I see what you mean. You must have seen me a fair amount before today in order to form an opinion like that, though."

"Not really," Demyx admitted. "I make up my mind pretty quickly about people. That, and I practice guitar outside a lot, and that's a good way to people watch. People assume that when your hands are full, your mind is also full, and that you're ignoring your surroundings. You can see a lot that way." Zexion was struck by the profundity of that statement. Maybe Demyx wasn't an idiot after all. Just… different.

"Perhaps, with a hobby like that, you might excel at acting."

"Ha ha, no way. Memorizing lines? Too much effort."

"Improv, then." Zexion suggested, eager despite himself.

"I'll consider it," Demyx allowed. He's not going to do it, Zexion knew that much. Not so sunny as you make people think, huh?

"No need to lie to me. If you mean no, say no." Zexion replied sternly.

"You saw right through me, huh?" Demyx scratched the back of his head awkwardly.

"I did. I'm not so invested in what you do in your free time that I'll be offended," Zexion explained. Yes, that's right. How, even for an instant, could I forget myself?

"I suppose you're right," Demyx admitted, looking slightly unhappy. Silence fell between them again, and this time Zexion was impatient for Demyx to be gone. The musician's moods were too unpredictable for him to deal with. "Um, Zexion?" Demyx broke the silence timidly. Zexion found himself irritated by Demyx's tone of voice.

"What?"

"Would… would it be too much trouble to meet somewhere tomorrow, and talk some more?"

I really don't see what he gets out of talking to me. I've been unpleasant to him pretty much the entire time we've known each other. But seeing as how I can't do anything tomorrow anyway… Zexion's thoughts trailed off as Demyx looked at him expectantly, requiring a quick answer. "I'm surprised that you're asking me if it's too much trouble. You're the lazy one, after all."

"Heh, I guess you're right," Demyx admitted, looking less cheerful by the second.

"Don't look so depressed," Zexion muttered. "I didn't say no."

* * *

"How did it go?" Axel demanded, giving Zexion only a few seconds after Demyx's departure to recover.

"I don't know what you're expecting," Zexion answered honestly. "He wants to see me again, for some bizarre reason."

"Demyx may seem like an idiot," Roxas admitted. "But…"

"If he sees something shiny, he'll go for it." Axel finished.

"So, I'm shiny, am I?" Zexion asked, sounding offended.

"In a manner of speaking," Axel agreed. "My plan went off without a hitch."

"Celebrate with some ice cream," Zexion grumbled, quite done with people for the day. "And if you don't want to end up in shin splints, I suggest you let Roxas have some."

* * *

"Late last night, all of the traffic lights in Twilight Town began malfunctioning. Soon, traffic jams and accidents riddled the streets. Officials reported that all attempts to shut down the system have failed. Several aides have tentatively suggested that the malfunction was not an accident, and was actually the result of a cyber attack, but these reports have not been confirmed."

Zexion turned off the T.V. and lay back down in bed. They would discover that Ienzo was behind the attack once they found the virus. Their computer screens would flash the words "Surely you must have known this was going to happen." It was his seal of victory, his last chance to gloat before moving on to the next target. Even if Twilight Town's officials didn't recognize it, once the major government agencies heard that there had been a cyber attack, they would move in and identify it as his work right away. He wondered, in a detached sort of way, if Axel had convinced Roxas to call his parents. They would know soon, of that he was certain.

On the table next to his bed, Zexion's cell phone started buzzing. It was 6 A.M. There was only one person who would call at that time, since Axel and Roxas were right down the hall, and Zexion earnestly hoped that someone else was on the line. His caller ID, however, dashed his hopes quickly, and Zexion had no choice but to answer.

"I don't want to talk to you," he muttered, trying to keep his voice down.

"Yet you picked up anyway," the voice observed with a hint of amusement.

"'If you can answer when I call, you absolutely must, or suffer the consequences.' I believe that was how you put it," Zexion replied testily, wanting his caller to get to the point.

"Too true. I'll get right to the point then. What happened in Twilight Town was your doing, I assume?"

"What brought you to that conclusion?" Zexion didn't actually care, but participation in the conversation was required.

"It felt like one of your jobs, and you woke up early to watch the news. They say arsonists like to watch their own handiwork, and you are not very different from an arsonist."

Zexion felt his free hand curl into a fist. "I'm nothing like an arsonist. There is a purpose to what I do, and I don't want to hurt anyone."

"There may be a purpose," the voice allowed, "But that doesn't make you different. You still achieve nothing in your attacks. Rather like a flea on a bear, all you are capable of is causing irritation. And soon, even that will come to an end. I've been lenient with you, you know, and I will continue to be lenient as long as you keep your rebellions on this level. If you should try something more drastic…" The speaker paused, leaving the matter to Zexion's imagination. "I think you know what will happen."

"I know," Zexion muttered with gritted teeth.

"I'm glad to hear it. Enjoy your freedom while it lasts, Ienzo." There was a click, and the line went dead.

"I'll do my best," Zexion murmured, letting the phone drop. "Just watch me."

* * *

"So, everyone's fine? Really? Yeah, everything's fine here. Only Twilight Town was affected. Stay safe."

Roxas stood in the living room, making a steadily less panicked phone call to his parents, while Axel and Zexion munched silently on their cereal, neither of them up for conversation. Zexion eventually asked the burning question, once certain that Roxas was well out of earshot. "Did you tell him?"

Axel nodded. "I told him that it seemed like something was going to happen. He called last night to pass that on. Once he actually found out what happened, he felt like he should call again. Luckily, no one's gotten hurt yet."

"That comes later, when desperation kicks in. If the authorities in Twilight Town think to hire people to direct traffic, they might be able to avoid a panic," Zexion explained thoughtfully.

"What, now you want to help the people of Twilight Town?" Axel asked disbelievingly.

"I don't want anyone to get hurt. I just want the government to sweat."

Axel shook his head, a look of bemusement on his face. "Sometimes, Zex, I just don't understand you."

"I prefer it that way. Every magician must have his secrets," Zexion explained with a slight smile.

"Oh, so you're a magician now?"

"Perhaps illusionist would be a better word for it."

* * *

Zexion had agreed to meet Demyx on the grassy field outside of the music building, and arrived at the appointed location several minutes early, as he suspected that Demyx wouldn't wait very long had he been the one to arrive first. After a few moments, Demyx appeared, walking calmly in his direction. Glancing at his watch, Zexion found that Demyx had actually arrived earlier than the appointed time. How curious. Demyx kept surprising him.

"Oh! Zexy! Oh, wait," Demyx mumbled as he remembered their conversation last night. "Zexion. You actually came." Demyx's smile made Zexion guilty for being harsh with him.

"I told you last night, didn't I? You can call me what you want."

"But, you didn't like it…"

"It's fine," Zexion insisted. "It's something I have to get used to."

Demyx nodded. "If you're sure, Zexy."

"I'm sure, Demyx."

"Okay. So, Zexy, do you mind if I ask you a few questions?"

"I may not answer them, but you're welcome to ask," Zexion allowed.

"Are you really 18?" Demyx didn't think he seemed that young. He felt much older. Older than Demyx, at the least.

"As of two months ago, yes."

"Do you like music?"

"Very much, though I prefer classical to other kinds of music."

"That fits," Demyx agreed. "Do you have any family? Roxas said that neither he nor Axel has ever seen you live anywhere else for any period of time."

"Nosy, aren't you? Is this an interview, or what?"

"Sorry," Demyx offered, unapologetic in every gesture and expression. "I'm trying to figure you out."

"Is that necessary?" Zexion was starting to get edgy. What if Demyx was actually some kind of undercover agent? Sure, he seemed like an idiot, but that could be an act. Was it possible? Or was he being a paranoid teenager? Wait, wouldn't an undercover agent know these things already? Yeah, he was just paranoid.

"It's not really necessary… I just want to understand you better."

"Why?" That question again, all-important when dealing with Demyx, it seemed. Understanding Demyx would be the work of some time. Zexion wondered why Demyx seemed to be in such a hurry to understand him.

"I dunno," Demyx admitted. "You're pretty different from me. It's interesting."

"What, you think everyone is like you?" Zexion spat angrily.

"No! No, it's just the way that you're different. Pretty much my polar opposite," Demyx admitted, hoping he'd salvaged the situation.

"I won't deny that," Zexion muttered, feeling inexplicably tired. This seemed to be a trend with Demyx: feeling like he'd just been hit by a massive wave. He wondered if that was a warning sign. Maybe he should end any further involvement with Demyx, if all such encounters would exhaust him this way. "Demyx, I-"

"Don't say it." Demyx interrupted suddenly.

"What?"

"Heh, I messed up pretty bad, huh?" Demyx scratched his head with an air of embarrassment, a mannerism that reminded Zexion of Axel. "How can get you to forgive me?"

Zexion sighed heavily. Demyx wasn't going to let go that easily, huh? "No more questions like that one."

"Deal," Demyx agreed easily. "Um, can I ask… is Axel really your first friend?"

"Yes, he is."

"How… How did you go through your whole life like that? Wasn't it lonely?" Demyx's eyes mirrored genuine concern. Zexion didn't like it. It was too similar to pity.

"I wasn't alone," Zexion murmured. "As to how I wasn't alone, I'm afraid I can't explain it. With any luck, you'll never understand."

"Don't say that! I want to understand."

"No, you don't. The day you understand, you won't be the same person anymore."

"Does Axel understand?" Zexion didn't like that question. It was based on false assumptions.

"No, he doesn't."

Demyx seemed to like that answer. "Then, I'll be the first," he declared cheerfully. "Um…I have a guitar lesson in a few minutes, so I have to go, but can we meet again soon?"

"You really aren't going to let me go, are you?"

"Not until I understand you better."

"Are you certain that psychology isn't the career path for you?" Zexion observed, half-joking.

"Other people don't interest me. They don't absorb light like you do." Zexion had no idea how to respond to such a statement, so he fell silent and watched Demyx pick up his backpack and guitar. "See ya, Zexy!" Demyx leaned in, gave Zexion a quick kiss on the tip of his nose, and fled. Zexion, in complete shock over what Demyx had just done, woke up several hours later in the hospital.

"That had better have been a dream."

* * *

AN: Demyx will explain himself in chapter 3, have no fear! As always, review, whether you loved it or hated it! ^_^


	3. Dreams and Spring Rain

AN: Alrighty, this chapter is a special one, since this is where my Demyx breaks almost completely with the established norm. Therefore, a brief explanation is required. My interpretation of his character here comes from the scene before Sora kills him, where he tries several different tactics to avoid a fight. Being himself (friendly/cheerful) doesn't work, so he tries channeling Xigbar ("You shouldn't judge anyone by appearances"- It's a very Xigbar line), than Xaldin/Saix ("Silence, traitor" being a line that they might try, before jumping into battle). It made me think that Demyx's memories of being human weren't sufficient to get out of the situation, so he used someone elses. Also, the fact that he's trying different methods in that scene is important to my interpretation. With this in mind, enjoy how I wrote him. ^^'

Thanks to Niffstral, Yumeoni, luckless-is-me, Finale di Amore, and Oblivion96649 for reviewing! Oh, and thanks again to Niffstral for betaing. As promised, there IS another reason why he fainted.

Disclaimer: I don't own KH. I don't own KH. I don't own KH.

Chapter 3: Dreams and Spring Rain

I lied to Demyx. I'm not interested in anything. The truth is, ever since I was little, I've hated sleeping. When my eyes close, and I'm surrounded by darkness, for a moment I'm peaceful. Then the dreams come. Wild, chaotic, utterly disconnected images throw themselves at my tranquil mind, making very little sense on their best days. At least, that's what I remember afterward. Perhaps they make sense when I'm sleeping, like the first one did. That's the only one that I've ever been able to understand after waking.

That first dream came when I was six. In that dream, I was weak. So weak, that I couldn't escape from the monster that came and sucked the life out of me. Or maybe it wasn't a monster. I can barely remember anymore. The point is, I died in that dream, and fell into the darkness. I woke up screaming.

Since that day, I've feared to sleep for long, so I filled the nights with study. Keeping my brain busy might keep the dreams at bay, I thought. It only made them wilder. What a useless occupation. If only I would forget my dreams after waking up, like everyone else.

I didn't dream the night after I met Demyx. I wonder why.

* * *

"Oh, he's awake." Zexion recognized the speaker as Axel. Axel would know what had happened, right?

"How long have I been this way?"

"Dunno. A couple hours at least," Axel estimated, looking at his watch. "Dem's the only one who can say for sure." So, part of that conversation was real…

"Did he tell you what happened?"

"He told Roxas, then ran off to his guitar lesson. Roxas called me and I drove you here."

"He said that the two of you were talking, and then you suddenly passed out," Roxas explained, appearing from behind Axel. "But they ran some tests here, and there's nothing wrong with you, so I think he's lying. If you're perfectly healthy, something else must have caused you faint."

"Did ya see something scary, Zexy?" Axel teased.

"See… No. It wasn't anything that I saw. Demyx just surprised me." I guess it really happened… Dammit. It wasn't really a big deal. Not enough to faint over, even though people rarely come that close. But, the last person to do something like that was… No. Don't think about that. It has nothing to do with this.

Maybe… that was the real reason.

"Did he jump out from behind a building, or something?"

"I'm not a three year old," Zexion muttered. "Why would I faint over something like that?"

"What actually happened is pretty embarrassing too." Zexion sat up straight and slowly looked toward the door. Sure enough, Demyx stood in the doorway, looking perfectly cheerful. When their eyes met, Zexion felt his face heat up, and he turned away quickly.

"So you were lying," Roxas observed quietly.

"Yup," Demyx agreed easily. "What if Zexy didn't want you to know what happened, 'cause it's so embarrassing? He'd wake up to you two making fun of him, wouldn't he?"

"Probably," Axel admitted, turning to Zexion. "So, you gonna tell us what happened, or do I have to force it out of you?"

"Not even a semblance of respect for my privacy, huh?" Zexion attempted to evade the question, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Hey, I brought you all the way to this hospital when there wasn't even anything wrong with you. I deserve an explanation."

"Make Demyx tell you," Zexion answered, his face heating up again. Axel turned back to Demyx, his eyes glinting dangerously. Demyx, sensing trouble, quickly explained what he'd done.

"Zex, are you a teenage girl? He kissed your nose, for goodness sake!" Axel sighed, rubbing his temples.

"I'm a teenage boy. There's not a huge difference," Zexion pointed out, getting redder by the second.

"Good point," Axel allowed. "Now, Demyx. Explain. In words that Zex will understand."

"I felt like it?" Demyx offered, not sounding very sure of himself.

"Liar," Zexion hissed.

"Fine. I wanted to see how you'd react. I figured you'd be surprised, but your reaction was much more interesting than I expected," he admitted.

"I'm not a goddamn science project!" Zexion was livid. His whole body shook with rage. What was the matter with Demyx?

"I didn't say that-"

"Leave. I don't want to see your face ever again."

"Zex-" Demyx tried again, only to be interrupted again.

"Get out of my sight."

"If…" Demyx began, looking like a kicked puppy. "If that's what you want."

"It is." Zexion waited until Demyx's footsteps had gotten sufficiently quiet before turning around again.

"What was that about your plan going perfectly?" Roxas asked Axel, smirking triumphantly.

"Okay, obviously you know Demyx much better than I do," Axel admitted. "But he actually made Zex mad! I've never seen him like that before."

"I'm still in the room," Zexion reminded Axel testily.

"And he's still mad."

"What, you think I would calm down right away? He treated me like a test subject… an experiment, something behind bars in a zoo that you gawk at!" Tears slid slowly down Zexion's cheeks, though he didn't appear to notice it.

"You're crying," Roxas pointed out quietly. "Did he really hurt you that badly?"

"He's just like everyone else," Zexion murmured. "I should've known when he talked about how interesting it was that I was different. All along, he thought I was a freak."

* * *

I shouldn't sleep tonight, Zexion thought indifferently. My dreams will be worse then usual. They always are, after something like… He forcibly brought his train of thought to an end.

He lay in his bed back in the apartment, staring blankly at the ceiling. Getting discharged from the hospital had been easy, and Axel and Roxas had wisely chosen to say nothing further on the subject of Demyx. Zexion didn't want to sleep, but he felt weak. So weak, like in that first dream…

Zexion's phone buzzed, pulling him away from another stream of unpleasant thoughts. He checked the caller ID. Twice in two days? Was he bored, or something? Reluctantly, as always, he answered. "Do you have nothing better to do?"

"I merely wanted to see how you were holding up. You had quite the outburst today. Perhaps you were a little unfair with that boy. He meant no harm, you know."

"Shut up! If I was, it's your fault!"

"Take some responsibility for yourself," the voice scolded. "His social skills need work, true. But how was he to know that his words would trigger some deep trauma? Flying off the handle doesn't solve anything."

"That's easy for you to say," Zexion muttered.

"How so?"

"You're not a caged animal."

"That may be true," The voice allowed. "But you're hardly an animal…"

"But I live in a cage."

The voice sighed heavily, accepting defeat on that point. "Ienzo, don't let your pride prevent you from interacting with different people. You never know who can or will help you."

"Did you call me just to give me advice about my personal life?" Zexion made no effort to conceal his irritation.

"That is correct."

"Why?"

"Because you hate sleeping." The line went dead, leaving Zexion alone with his apprehension.

"Bastard," Zexion murmured, suddenly feeling exhausted. His eyes slowly slid shut, and before he knew it, he was asleep.

No dreams came.

* * *

The next morning found Zexion and his laptop in another coffee shop, writing another virus. He refused to launch his attacks from the same location twice. After all, why develop a routine that someone's bound to notice eventually?

Despite his phone conversation the previous night (or perhaps because of it), Zexion refused to seek out Demyx and apologize. Why should he apologize? Demyx was the one in the wrong. No, Zexion was determined not to pursue any further association with Demyx. The music student was far too unpredictable, despite his life being based on the concept of doing what was easiest. Such people, once motivated, had the potential to be very dangerous. Demyx had merely given Zexion an excuse to protect himself from such danger. It was bad enough that Axel knew of his identity as Ienzo (though it had been his decision that Axel should know). If someone else found out, and someone with Demyx's loose lips… Zexion flushed at the sudden memory that came into his mind, unbidden.

"Don't you normally wait until your previous virus has been dealt with before making another one?" Axel appeared behind Zexion, peering over his shoulder.

"How did you find me? You were asleep when I left."

"You just thought I was asleep," Axel countered with a sly smirk. "I followed you here. I wanted to see if you were going to talk to Demyx, but you were just victimizing another city. I'm pretty disappointed."

"Why would I talk to him?"

"Because even you must know that your reaction was a bit much."

"He just gave me an excuse to get rid of a potential security breach. I'm not going to talk to him. He's too much of a wildcard," Zexion explained, keeping his voice down.

"So, even if you did regret it, you're not going to fix things because he could find out who you really are?" Axel shook his head disbelievingly.

"That's his goal. If he really achieves it, I'll be in trouble."

"And you think there's actually a chance of Demyx, the idiot, getting past your paranoia, to the point where you let your guard down around him?" There was something off about this line of questioning…

"It already happened once. I hadn't even noticed that I'd done it." Yeah, Axel looked a bit too happy, given the circumstances.

"You can't do this, Zex. You need Demyx," Axel insisted.

"Why do I need him?"

"You're always guarded, even around me and Roxas. I know it's because you don't want to involve us. But don't you think you deserve to relax a little? Sure, you could get caught. But, if they were going to catch you, it would have happened by now." Uh-oh.

"What makes you say that? I could make a mistake, and then get caught," Zexion reasoned, sweat beading on his forehead.

"I don't think so. Somehow Zex, I think there's something important that you haven't told me. I won't push it, but I know it's there. I won't forget, either. Commit that to memory," Axel warned. He grinned a distinctly feral grin, and left. Zexion sat immobile in his chair, his sweat beading cold on his skin. Rule number one of living with Axel. Never. Underestimate. Axel.

* * *

Axel hadn't reappeared since their conversation in the coffee shop, though it was now the morning after. Roxas was obviously worried, as his cereal kept stopping short of his mouth. Zexion tried not to wonder too much.

"Zexion," Roxas began, giving up on his breakfast for the moment. "Did you and Axel have a fight?"

"Not really. He wasn't mad… At least I think he wasn't. I wasn't mad at him for trying, either, so you couldn't call it a fight."

"I guess he's not the type to disappear over a fight, either," Roxas admitted. "What's he thinking?"

"I think that's pretty easy to understand," Zexion muttered, having caught on to Axel's scheme. "He wants me to talk to Demyx again. Why is he so dead set on this plan?"

"Oh, I know why. It's because Demyx is weird."

"…What?"

"When I first met Demyx," Roxas began, setting his cereal aside completely. "He was in some of my classes. He seemed pretty normal. Cheerful, with only one real skill set. But the more I saw of him, the more I realized that that wasn't the case. You may have noticed his distinct lack of social skills, and he may have told you about his habit of watching people."

"Yeah. He may have mentioned that."

"Well, for some reason or another, Demyx doesn't really understand how to handle certain situations. So, he sees what other people do, and he imitates it." No wonder he didn't want to go into acting, Zexion mused. He can't even understand his own character fully.

"So, it sometimes seems like he's several different people in the course of one conversation…" Zexion finished Roxas's thought, intrigued despite himself. "No wonder he's interested in me."

"Why's that?"

"He once described me as a person who absorbs other people's light, and keeps it close. By his own analogy, Demyx absorbs light, and then reflects it, though somewhat imperfectly," Zexion allowed.

"Like water." Roxas murmured.

"That's a very good analogy, Roxas… for a music major."

"Hey!"

* * *

Zexion was stubborn. Prideful and stubborn. After what he said to Demyx, it was up to him to make the first move in reconciling. If not for one late night phone call and a scary conversation with Axel, he wouldn't even be considering reconciliation. What use was an acquaintance like Demyx, anyway? Lazy, blunt and needlessly curious, there would be very little point in pursuing him. But… He couldn't let things end on such a sour note.

Why?

He couldn't answer that question. But, two days after the initial incident (he only sulked for one of them), Zexion was camped out on the music school lawn. It was a Sunday.

"This is stupid," Zexion muttered to himself. "Why would he come here on a weekend?"

"Because you have to book practice rooms far in advance," Demyx explained, appearing suddenly behind Zexion. His face was blank, betraying no emotion. So that's his real face, Zexion mused. "Why are you here, Zexion?" The use of his full name stung.

"I wanted to apologize," Zexion began, seeing no point in beating around the bush. "I'm still not happy about what you said and did, but my reaction was disproportionate. I'm sorry."

"Really?" Demyx didn't light up like a firework. He was still calm. Actually, he reminded Zexion of someone… "You mean it?"

"Yes. I should not have acted that way about something so trivial."

Demyx shook his head, dropping whatever act he'd been putting on. "I should have thought about it all a little more. I forgot the most important thing."

"And what is that?"

"That I want to get to know you better, not see how you'd react to a given situation. But I wasn't sure how to do that. You're a genius, so…"

"You used the scientific method," Zexion finished, sighing heavily. "Come up with a hypothesis about what I'm like, then test it. I take back any praise of your intelligence. You really are an idiot."

"It wasn't exactly like that… I just did what my old chemistry teacher would do. I'm not sure why I thought of him, though."

"Your chemistry teacher? What gave you the impression that a science teacher knows anything about human interaction?" Zexion smiled as he asked the question, understanding what Roxas had said a little better now.

"Sure, that makes sense now. It even made sense two days ago. But I thought it would work, for some reason."

"Idiot."

"Yeah," Demyx admitted, looking cheerful again. A brief silence fell between them, caused by Zexion racking his brain, trying to figure out who Demyx had been imitating (for, that he had been imitating someone was now obvious), and Demyx observing the little changes in Zexion's facial expression. Luckily for Demyx, Zexion didn't notice.

"You…" Zexion suddenly realized who Demyx had reminded him of. "You were imitating me."

"Oh, you noticed?"

"I'm very different from you, Demyx. It would be hard not to recognize my face being imitated by yours. That, and Roxas told me a few things."

"Oh." Demyx's face fell. "So, he told you how messed up I am."

Zexion shook his head. "No more messed up than I."

"You think so?"

"There's nothing wrong with you, Demyx. You're just different," Zexion insisted.

"Fair enough," Demyx agreed with a smile. "So, is it okay if I show my face in front of you again?"

"Yes. Your face would be more than welcome. Even after the affront it committed," Zexion joked, smiling slightly.

"Did… Did you really mind what I did that much?" Demyx fidgeted nervously, staring at the ground.

"Don't be so timid. I was just surprised. It's been a long time since anyone ventured that far into my personal space. What bothered me was what you said, not what you did." Well, it did bother him a little. But he didn't want Demyx to dwell on it. Not after the conversations he'd had over the past two days.

"So… You wouldn't mind if something like that happened again?"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

What?

* * *

AN: Cliffies are so fun... For my continued quick updates, please review!


	4. Hope and Cloudbursts

AN: This was a rough chapter to write. Especially given how much I want to keep everyone in character. The positive comments that I got about Demyx energized me, and so this chapter was finished! Oh, I thought I'd use the beginning of this chapter to talk about Zexy's family... As you can see, they're all alive. His siblings are NOT OCs. Thought you should know that beforehand. Enjoy. ^^ Thanks to Niffstral, Luckless-is-me and LiteraryMirage for reviewing! And thanks again to Niffstral for betaing. Oh, my split infinitives...

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Chapter 4: Hope and Cloudbursts

My family is a family of five, consisting of mother, father, older half-brother, younger sister and myself. They're all very good people. My parents are cheerful and understanding, and can see the good in everyone. My half-brother is the quiet type, preferring not to speak unless it is imperative. He takes the logical approach to solving problems, and in that regard, I believe that the two of us are quite similar. His colossal strength caused him to be recruited by the army, and as our parents could not afford to send him to college, he joined the army in order to get his education. I still receive occasional letters from him, though there isn't much to learn from them.

If not for my younger sister, I believe that my brother and I would talk even less. She takes after our parents in her goodness and cheerfulness, though their affectionate natures lose out to hers. Her existence is like a tiny ray of hope. She must be 14 now…

I wish I could see them…

* * *

"…What did you say?" Zexion wasn't certain that he'd heard Demyx correctly. Surely, he hadn't just asked if he could continue knocking holes in his personal bubble?

"Um… That is…" Demyx's face flushed with embarrassment, and Zexion wondered what he'd gotten himself into. "This is going to sound creepy, but I've actually been watching you for a while now, and um… I think you're really special, and I really… like you."

Oh fuck. Now everything makes sense. Dammit Axel. Dammit Roxas. "Have you been following me?" Zexion's voice cracked slightly on the last two words, fear of discovery slipping out into the open.

Demyx's face fell. "What? No. I just notice when you're nearby."

"Did you know who Roxas was "introducing" you to, that day?"

"No, I didn't. I was happy when I found out, though," Demyx admitted.

"What…" Zexion paused, formulating his question carefully. "What is it exactly that you want from me?"

"That's easy! I want you to fall in love with me!" Demyx proclaimed confidently, shocking Zexion with his lack of delicacy. Demyx colored suddenly, overcome with the realization of what he'd just said. "Um, I… I m-m-mean… th-that is…"

"You really are an idiot," Zexion observed, for the third or fourth time that day.

"Um, th-that… Wait, what?"

"Well, what am I supposed to say to something like that?"

"Nothing, I guess," Demyx admitted. "Unless it's already happened. But I don't think it has, so…"

"Then why say such a thing?"

"Hey, you asked! I was just answering the question."

Zexion chuckled softly at Demyx's indignation. "That's true," he admitted. "As of right now, I can't respond positively, but I won't say that there isn't a chance."

Demyx really did light up like a firework this time. "Really?"

"Well, there's certainly no competition."

"Oh, thanks. That's sooooo reassuring."

"That, and when Axel initially asked me if I wanted to meet you, he was proposing to set me up with someone," Zexion admitted. "Who later turned out to be you."

"He said that? Really?" If Demyx got any happier, he would probably explode, Zexion reasoned. As it was, Demyx was almost radiating light.

"Yes…"

"But you don't seem like the kind of person to agree to something like that."

"Well…" Zexion hesitated. "When you live with a happy couple…"

"I get it," Demyx replied, nodding.

"I thought I should try, at least, even if it's impossible for me to be as happy as the two of them."

"So," Demyx began, eyes shining with hope. "Does that mean I can see you again?"

"I believe you already asked me that question today."

"Yeah, but that was before my confession. You might have changed your mind."

"I have not changed my mind. We may continue to meet," Zexion assured him.

"Yippee!" After delivering a flying tackle hug to express his joy, Demyx sped off toward the music school, having suddenly remembered his original reason for coming to school on a Sunday.

Zexion chuckled softly, watching Demyx's retreating form. "What have I gotten myself into?"

* * *

"You look awfully cheerful, Zex." Axel observed from his seat at the kitchen table.

"And it looks like I was right about you. You came scurrying back once I went to talk to Demyx, didn't you?" Zexion had hurried home after meeting Demyx, in the hope of catching Axel in the act, but Axel had thwarted him.

"Hit the nail on the head," Axel agreed cheerfully. "You didn't make me wait that long, though. Aren't you normally more stubborn?"

"I was attacked on all sides," Zexion explained indifferently. "It wasn't worth the trouble."

"Oh, is that all?"

"And…" Zexion hesitated. "He's mostly harmless. I can see that now."

"What changed your mind?"

"If I'm correctly interpreting what he said, I have reason to believe that Demyx is in love with me," Zexion related calmly.

"Wow, Zex. I didn't know you were such a lady-killer," Axel joked.

"Ha ha. Very funny."

"Wait." Axel dropped his playful manner. "You were serious?"

"I am possibly the most serious person you know," Zexion countered. "He knew of me prior to our first meeting, apparently. He must have seen something that he liked. I take it you were not aware?"

Axel shook his head. "Roxas is the one who really knows Demyx, and he never mentioned anything like that."

"Since Demyx mimics other people to figure out how to act, it seemed like he'd have some trouble with love," Roxas explained, shouting from the living room, where was watching the news. "But I guess he doesn't."

"So, Zex, what do you think of your set up?" Axel asked playfully.

"He is very amiable," Zexion admitted.

"'Amiable'? Zex, I thought you were starting to drop the formal speech…" Axel confessed, with an air of disappointment.

"I was teasing you. Demyx is very unpredictable, but I can't help but wonder at his persistence. I have been quite unkind to him, on several occasions," Zexion reflected bitterly.

"If he wasn't, you could hardly call his feelings love," Roxas offered from the living room.

"True. I suppose I like him well enough."

"…You're talking formally to avoid the question, aren't you?" Axel's displeasure was evident.

"That is correct. Please probe no further." Because I don't know how to answer.

"Fine, fine. Hey Rox, what's in the news?"

"Ienzo took out the power in Traverse Town," Roxas answered dispassionately.

"What, seriously?" Axel was out of the kitchen and into the living room in a flash, sparing only an instant to shoot a disapproving glance at Zexion, who followed at a slower pace.

"How do they know that Ienzo is responsible for the power outage?" Zexion asked. "They normally can't name a culprit immediately."

"Some of the lights didn't go out, and they spelled out "Ienzo."" Roxas explained. Axel turned to Zexion, giving him a meaningful look. Zexion shook his head slightly. His virus should only have affected the power in the government buildings, not the entire city… And why spell his name out for the world to see? Such vanity.

"Unless he's an idiot, this attack isn't one of Ienzo's," Zexion murmured, attempting to look thoughtful.

"Why do you say that?" Roxas asked, turning away from the television.

"In all of his previous attacks, he hasn't declared his name in such a grand way. It seems more like one of those groups that like to claim responsibility for him, using his name to further their cause. Or, rather, to place the blame of such a large-scale event on him."

"Why would someone do something like that?"

Zexion shook his head. "I don't know. And I don't suppose it concerns us, either. Terrorists may have their power struggles as they please."

"I guess you're right," Roxas agreed, though somewhat reluctantly.

* * *

"Are you telling me the truth? You really didn't do that to Traverse Town?" Axel's tone was calm, but Zexion didn't trust it. If he answered wrongly, he would undoubtedly have to find another place to live.

"I did not do that to Traverse Town. My virus would only have cut the power to the government buildings there," Zexion affirmed quietly, not wanting Roxas to overhear. Zexion's bedroom did not have the thickest walls.

"Could you have done something wrong?"

"And have the result look like that? No. Either someone managed to intercept and modify my virus, or they worked around it," Zexion reasoned, feigning unconcern. In actuality, his mind was full of activity, trying to determine who was responsible, and how exactly they'd gone about it.

"If someone was able to intercept it, does that mean they could find where it came from?"

"Possibly. But that is why I do not work near campus or the apartment. I do not want to put you and Roxas in danger."

"Zexion…" Axel began, his voice full of concern. "Why would someone do something like this?"

"I cannot say for certain, but I suspect that they want me to learn something from the experience."

"Learn what? How to protect your viruses?" Axel attempted a joke. Zexion, however, was not in a mood where he could recognize sarcasm.

"I cannot say, though I doubt it's something so technical." Perhaps, to learn what it's like to be hated. People are not likely to keep quiet about this. It was Ienzo's most daring move yet. Zexion had a feeling that he knew exactly who was responsible. Not that he could tell Axel…

"Zex…"

"Sorry Axel, but I can't-" Zexion stopped as his phone started vibrating in his pocket. A smile slowly overtook his features as he read the text message that Demyx had sent. "Axel, can we talk later?"

"I guess… This isn't going to just go away, though." Zexion didn't like that glint in Axel's eyes.

"Thank you." Zexion smiled slightly, and Axel left the room, leaving Zexion to formulate a reasonably disaffected reply.

* * *

"It has been three days since Traverse Town lost power, and officials indicate that they are close to restoring the city's power. Based on the available evidence, the RGBI has conclusively attributed the power loss to an attack from the wanted cyber terrorist Ienzo. The malfunctioning traffic lights in Twilight Town are also believed to be the work of Ienzo. As the citizens of Traverse Town and Twilight Town flee or seek refuge in their homes, the residents of nearby cities and towns are calling for immediate action against Ienzo. As one resident of Hollow Bastion put it, "Ienzo has run free for too long." This is Yu-" Zexion turned off the T.V. and lay back onto his bed, trying to remain conscious. He should have called by now… If only to gloat.

"Speak of the devil," Zexion murmured, retrieving his suddenly vibrating phone. "And he shall appear. I'm surprised you took so long."

"I do work occasionally. Especially after what you did to Traverse Town."

"That wasn't me," Zexion hissed.

"I'm sure that someone will believe you. Not the world at large, though. To them, Ienzo has finally gone over the edge. They tolerated your childishness before, but their patience is wearing thin."

"So you decided to wear it out faster, to get me under your heel faster," Zexion spat angrily.

"Your next target was Traverse Town."

"But normal people wouldn't have been affected! This is going too far. It impacts the other towns too!"

"Ienzo… You wanted to rebel. You wanted to show that you couldn't be controlled. Now, it is not just I who wants you under control. If your identity were ever to be revealed, you would be in my care in an instant. Don't waste the time that you have been given this way."

"Then, what do you want me to do?"

The voice chuckled, sending a chill up Zexion's spine. "I thought you were starting to talk more like a teenage boy, and less like a book. Is that because of that music student who thinks he's in love with you?"

Zexion broke out in a cold sweat. How dare he… "Do not bring him into this."

"But why not? You changed your opinion of him rather quickly, didn't you? I didn't think you were capable of changing your mind about others."

"He's a good person. He's just a little confused. I didn't understand that right away." Zexion didn't like where this was going. Why talk about Demyx again?

"Be careful with him, Ienzo," the voice warned. "Your time is quickly running out. Better to leave without regrets."

"That is what I intend to do."

"Excellent. You're better off severing all needless connections beforehand. They will only get in the way later." The line went dead.

"It would appear," Zexion murmured. "That our views on that subject are utterly irreconcilable."

* * *

"Zexy, have you been sleeping lately?" Demyx asked, concern etched all over his face. "If you wanna go back home and sleep, we can have lunch another time…"

"I normally sleep as little as possible. I believe that lately I actually have been sleeping more," Zexion explained indifferently, taking a sip of his generic cola drink.

"Why don't you sleep?"

"…Promise that you won't laugh."

"Okay," Demyx agreed.

"I have had very strange dreams ever since I was very young," Zexion explained, his face betraying no emotion. "Flashes of light, raw emotions… They don't follow a pattern or a story. Or, they don't appear to, anyway. I prefer to spend as little time as possible trapped by these dreams." Zexion's expression softened slightly. "But lately, I must be having normal dreams, the type that you don't remember having when you wake, so sleeping has been easier."

"That's not something I can laugh about," Demyx murmured. "Dreams are powerful."

"Demyx…" Zexion began, hesitating. "Have you ever dreamt that you were dying?"

"Huh? Yeah… Once. When I was 9, or something." Zexion chuckled softly, causing Demyx's face to turn bright red. "Hey! I agreed not to laugh at you! Why do you get to laugh at me?"

"I apologize," Zexion replied, smilingly slightly. "I was not laughing at you. Merely at my childishness."

"Huh?"

"Most would consider dreams of death to be unpleasant, even traumatic. For that reason I should not have asked. Yet, in my case, it was the best dream I've ever had, because it made sense. That I could find anything pleasant about such a dream… I can only laugh."

"You're a logical person, Zexy," Demyx began quietly. "Death is logical too."

"Perhaps you're not an idiot after all," Zexion admitted.

"Or maybe you're not as smart as everyone thinks," Demyx taunted cheerily.

"That would be nice," Zexion observed. "I should like to fool them somehow."

Demyx smiled, and they lapsed into a comfortable silence, during which their food arrived. Wanting to know something before food made him unintelligible or forgetful, Demyx broke the silence hurriedly. "Zexy, when did your dreams start being normal?"

"Hmm…" Zexion considered the matter carefully. "It must have been… yes. It was the day that we met. I haven't had any of my usual dreams since then."

"Really?"

"Yes. It gives me hope that they may never return."

"It hasn't been that long," Demyx pointed out. "A week at most."

"True," Zexion admitted. "But this is the first time that I've had such a reprieve. Perhaps I shall be able to adopt a healthy sleep schedule."

"Don't count on it, Comp. Sci."

* * *

AN: Computer science majors can go days without sleep. I live with some. ^_^ As always, review to fill my determination tank!


	5. Ienzo and Demyx

AN: This chapter belongs to Demyx. Other than the intro, which is always Zexion's, the rest of the chapter is first person Demyx. He's explaining a certain situation to someone, but who? Ohoho... That would ruin the ending. Of the story, mind. Not the chapter. This is also the longest chapter, in terms of word count. Thanks to Niffstral, Yumeoni, luckless-is-me, LiteraryMirage, Imitation Black, Zenxara and Knut Case for reviewing! And Niffstral, thanks again for betaing. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts. *sigh*

Chapter 5: Ienzo and Demyx

I chose the name Ienzo not because it is a partial anagram of my own name, but because of the story behind the name. It is an old story, about a wise ruler who was also a man of science and his six apprentices. The story says that in those days, the Heartless were newly formed, and not yet completely understood. The wise ruler and his apprentices studied the Heartless together in peace, for a time.

However, the apprentices wanted to take the research farther than their master was willing. They requested that a new facility for Heartless research be built in the basement of the castle, where the Heartless gathered in the greatest numbers. Initially, their master was not in favor of this new facility, and refused their request. It was the poking, prodding, begging, and pleading of his youngest apprentice that finally convinced him to have the facility built, though it was not long before he ordered that it be destroyed. The order was not heeded, and his apprentices continued to work there in secret, probing deeply into the mysteries of the heart. Too deeply.

Ultimately, their hearts were taken by the darkness, their master was cast into the realm of darkness, and the world was flooded with Heartless. The citizens fled, or were destroyed. There are few in the city of Hollow Bastion or the country of Neo Radiant Garden who haven't heard some variation of this story.

Therefore, the name of the one responsible for the destruction of Old Radiant Garden, Ienzo, the youngest apprentice, seemed rather fitting. Truly, with a name like that, how can anyone doubt my intent?

Demyx

It was a glorious spring day… in my head, anyway. Really, it was the end of October. The weather was cold and wet. Not a good day for hand holding, long walks, or love in general. That day, when I saw Zexion for the first time, I noticed a small, distant person, whose eyes didn't seem to see anything around him.

He passed me again two days later. It had just started pouring, so I had packed up my guitar, and taken cover near one of the buildings. He had really stood out. He's so small, I thought. He was 15, and not done growing yet, but his height wasn't really what I meant. Because he was so much younger than everyone else, it seemed like he was smaller than he actually was… like he was trying to disappear. He was running through the rain, clutching his laptop to his chest, swiping at the rain with his free arm like a kid. I laughed out loud, without even noticing, and he stopped. Just froze. Then he turned to look at me, giving me the most poisonous glare I've ever seen. And then he was running again.

The next time I saw him, he was with Axel, codename: freakishly tall redhead. Axel was telling him something funny, I guess, because Axel was cracking up, though Zexion seemed as indifferent as he did the first day I saw him. Then Axel patted Zexion on the arm and ran off. I felt weird when I saw that. My stomach tied itself in knots, maybe. I guess the reason was the tiny smile that appeared on Zexion's face after Axel left. I wanted that tiny, vulnerable smile directed at me.

And then I felt like an idiot. It's not a weird thing for me to feel. But, to be jealous of someone that you don't know, for making someone that you don't know smile? My big sister would give me 20 punches for thinking like that. Maybe more than 20, since she makes me count them.

So, I'm an idiot, I decided. But, after weeks of noticing him, and feeling… odd, I decided not to stop.

Why?

I don't know. What would Mr. Even say? "Because he's interesting," or something. That's probably it, I thought. That's probably why I watch for him on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays between 1:20 and 1:30, and then between 2:20 and 2:30.

At that point, I wondered if I'd become a stalker. It was January. Guitars don't play very well in January, especially outside. I could find somewhere warmer to practice. Since I hadn't… yeah, I felt like a stalker. Stalking a 15 year old (probably 16 by now). Twice illegal. So I stayed inside for the rest of the winter.

When spring came, I went back to that bench. Like before, he would pass me by without noticing. The only person I ever saw him with that year was Axel, and every time Axel was there, I got that feeling again. It was only when he was with Axel that I'd see Zexion show an expression. I got pretty good at imitating his blank face, since it was the one he usually wore. Still, it was stupid of me to think that he reflected light, and didn't have any of his own. I just didn't want to admit that those smiles that he'd show when Axel would leave were real.

At the end of spring, I learned his name by accident, when he was talking with Axel. At that point, I did the cyber-stalker thing, and put his name in a search engine. I didn't expect to find anything.

Yeah, finding out that he was a child genius didn't do anything good for me. It explained a lot, but… well… I think it's pretty obvious that I'm an idiot, stalking a jailbait genius. And I didn't even know why I was doing it in the first place!

So I called my sister. She's not a pleasant person to talk to. Ever. At least she couldn't reach through the phone to hit me. Anyway, I explained the situation, and asked why I was doing this. She laughed for a veeeeeery long time. Then, she said, "Demyx, you're an idiot! An idiot in love with a 16 year old! Enjoy prison, little brother." Then she hung up.

Love? Could that be it? I didn't know if I could trust what my sister said.

…But then again, trusting what other people say and do is pretty much how I've lived my life. When your kindergarten teacher tells you that your way is wrong, and to do it exactly how you're told… okay, most people probably don't react to things like that the way I did. Needless to say, I trusted my sister. Why start doubting now? I've gone too far to start thinking for myself, I thought.

Really, I've been thinking for myself all along. When I was little, and the preschool teachers would tell my parents that I didn't seem to have a distinct personality, other than being a friendly, cheerful, and incurably lazy little boy, I looked at people with really unique personalities, and copied them, becoming less and more unique at the same time. It was my choice to do that. No one told me to. I probably fell for Zexion because he's so obviously different from me, yet the same in some small way.

We both hide our true selves, and only let them out when we're really close to a person. I saw Zexion doing that, and longed to do so myself. I thought he would accept me, with all of my problems, and stupid choices.

When fall came again, I met Roxas, and things started to fall into place. I had to change benches and times in order to see Zexion, for one thing. But anyway, Roxas. Roxas did the smart thing, and took the required general education courses in his first year. I was stupid, and took them in my second year, which is how I met him. Because we were both music majors in classes with engineers, architects, computer scientists and theology students (random liberal arts major), we talked a fair bit.

Roxas was the first person in college to see the weird thing about me. I got a newspaper one day before class, and was reading it outside the room. Roxas came over, and noticed the top story. That day, it was about a school in Neverland being overrun by Heartless. Roxas was appalled. I felt cold all over, but I didn't know how to react. Stupidly, I thought of Zexion, and took on an indifferent expression. Now Roxas was horrified.

"Demyx, some of the kids in that school were killed. Don't you feel bad for them?"

"I feel cold," I told him. "I'm wondering why this happened. How it could happen."

"Then why does it look like you don't care?"

"I… don't know."

Now he knows. And I continued to show him other people's mannerisms and expressions whenever I felt something that I didn't know how to show, or didn't understand. I'm sure he thought it was weird. Of course he would. A person who has to borrow from others the way I do… how could such a person really exist in this world? How could someone go through life without learning how to handle things in their own way?

At some point in the late fall, I heard Roxas sing. It was obvious from his face that he didn't want to, but he kept singing until he finished the song. I wondered, why?

"Why did you keep going?" I asked him afterwards. "You really looked like you wanted to stop."

"I did want to stop," he admitted. "But, my boyfriend likes my voice, so…"

"He wasn't there, though. Wait, was he?"

"No, he wasn't. But I wouldn't sing at all anymore if it wasn't for him."

"Ah, young love," I teased. "How long have you been going out?" Roxas looked really embarrassed when I asked him that. His face got really red, and he wouldn't answer. Then someone else entered the picture.

"Roxas, there you are! I've been looking for you," the tall redhead scolded. The sight of him made my blood run cold. What if he recognizes me? What if he noticed that I was watching Zexion? What if he… Breathe, Demyx. This person is Roxas's boyfriend? Well, I just assumed that. But I was right, wasn't I? Still, the person that I see Zexion with is Roxas's boyfriend?

Roxas looked up, his coloring returning to normal. "Oh, Axel."

"Nice to know my efforts are appreciated," Axel muttered. He was probably hoping that Roxas would see him, get all excited, and then run into his arms, or something. Silly. Roxas doesn't do that.

"Oh, right!" Roxas remembered suddenly. "Demyx, this is Axel. He's my… you know," Roxas murmured, getting embarrassed again. "Axel, this is Demyx."

"Oh, the second year you mentioned," Axel remembered, nodding. "I think I've seen you before…"

"Nice ta meet'cha!" I said, smiling. I think I was smiling, anyway. "I usually play guitar on a bench near the music building, so you may have seen me there."

"Oh yeah," Axel agreed. "You were out there in January for a while last year! Crazy."

"I had to stop, though. January is a bad month for guitars."

"You practice outside?" Roxas asked, looking less embarrassed.

"Yeah. It seems like an essential part of playing guitar, for some reason. Playing inside just doesn't feel right," I admitted. Little white lie there. It was mostly true, but I wouldn't have been out there in the winter for just that. I'm not an… Okay, that's a lie. I AM an idiot. But I try not to be one about my health or instrument.

At that time, it seemed like I would meet Zexion soon, too. I knew Axel now, so it seemed like a logical next step. But then again, Zexion probably wasn't all that into meeting new people. I wondered what he thought of Roxas.

I got my answer in winter, when our housing contracts were due. Roxas told me that Axel had asked him to move in with him, starting after his contract ran out. By now, I knew that Zexion was Axel's roommate, because Roxas had mentioned someone that sounded like him before. So, I knew that Zexion at least didn't mind Roxas, since Axel couldn't just have him move in without consulting his roommate.

"Have you really been dating long enough for that?" I asked, counting months in my head.

"That's what I was worried about," Roxas admitted. "But I think I'm going to accept. I need a place to live next year anyway, and his roommate would still be living there."

"Do your parents know that you want to move in with your boyfriend of four months?" I teased.

"No, and I'm not going to tell them. Besides, by the time I move in, he'll be my boyfriend of 9 months." I couldn't help it. I laughed. Not loudly, or anything. Maybe it was more of a chuckle. Maybe even a giggle. But Roxas didn't like it one bit. "What?"

"Are you pregnant, Roxas?" I choked out, trying very hard to stop laughing.

"DEMYX!"

Spring came. It rained a lot, and very suddenly. I saw Zexion get caught in the rain one day, with a bag full of books. He was looking at the sky with an expression of pure hatred. It reminded me of the look he gave me when I laughed at him as he ran through the rain. He was 15 and so small that day. At this point, he was 17, and didn't seem small at all anymore. For one, he'd grown a lot. He also didn't look like he wanted to disappear, unlike before. I wanted him to look at me again, even with eyes full of anger or hate.

Look at me!

Obviously, he didn't hear me. I've never been good at telepathy.

That was a joke, by the way.

Argh! No, Demyx! Don't talk like him!

Anyway… another spring passed, and I just watched. It was a bit more productive than the spring before, since occasionally I would be practicing outside and Roxas or Axel would run up to talk to me. If Zexion was with them, he wouldn't look back or stop, so I'm sure he didn't know I existed. Why did I have to fall for such an anti-social person? If it were anyone else, the fact that I know their roommate and their roommate's boyfriend would have lead to an introduction, at least! Zexioooooon….

Should I have told Roxas about my obsession? Would it have lead anywhere good, like, to being properly introduced? I didn't think that it would. Being obsessed with a minor and actually admitting it… doesn't usually lead to a good place. My old chemistry teacher, Mr. Even, went to jail for that, actually.

Maybe I should drop him from the list of people to imitate. Yeah, I should definitely do that. Sorry Mr. Even. Society just doesn't understand you.

I gotta stop getting off track like that. Anyway, over the summer, I heard the name "Ienzo" for the first time. I probably should have heard it before that, since Ienzo had been doing stuff for two years already, but being obsessed with someone doesn't give you much room in your head for absorbing other information.

Why do I mention Ienzo? Well, he hacked the e-mail account of a high-ranking government employee in my hometown, and flooded the inboxes of the other government officials with virus-filled spam. It was messy. When they found out who was responsible, that old story came up again. You know, the one about the six apprentices and the wise ruler. I've never known what to think about that story. Wasn't the master at fault too, for finally giving in? Even though he tried to fix his mistake later, their fates were already decided. It's such a sad story. My sister says that it's sad because it's true. There was no way that things could end nice and neat like they do in fairy tales.

For some reason, what she said made me think of Ansem the Wise, Neo Radiant Garden's big man. Maybe Ienzo was trying to tell us something by choosing that name. Maybe he meant that Ansem the Wise was, in this situation, the Wise Ruler (not much of a stretch, given his title), and Ienzo (the hacker) was going to destroy him, and Radiant Garden too. Could it really be that simple, though? If I could think it up, there's no way it could be true!

Anyway, all of this Ienzo stuff made me think of Zexion, since he's like Ienzo in a way. Ienzo was the youngest apprentice, so, while he was younger than all the others, he was just as smart as the other five, if not smarter. Zexion is in a similar situation, since he started college at age 14. Well, he was almost 15.

Every time I remember that, I feel even more like an idiot… All the blows to the head from Larxene probably haven't made me any smarter, either. I could probably be smarter if I put effort towards… not music things… or stalking a teenage boy.

And, of course, when Roxas offered to introduce me to someone the following November, I probably should have thought of Zexion immediately. But I didn't. It had seemed completely hopeless by then. Two full years of unrequited, unnoticed love will make you think that way. And then you come inside from the balcony, and there he is: the object of your affection, staring at you like you're from another planet.

I don't think I need to tell you that I handled things pretty badly. I had to ask a lot of questions that I already knew the answer to, for one. No good can come of revealing the fact that you're a creeper. Every time I made him mad, it felt like the world was ending, like my chance to see him again was lost forever. Then he would try to fix the situation, and I'd feel like I was being given a second chance at life, Maybe a little overdramatic. I know I weirded him out a couple of times. I was so happy when he said we could talk again, that I did something very stupid. First, I failed to remove Mr. Even from my imitation list. Everyone always thought he was a genius, so I thought I could use his help talking to a genius. Yeah, that was dumb. Second, I let two years of pent up feelings and hormones convince my body that invading Zexion's personal space would be totally fine, even though I'd always noticed how he avoids being touched.

I have to admit, I was expecting backlash, but not the kind that I got. A part of me died when he told me to get out of his sight. Yeah, using Mr. Even's logic shouldn't have seemed like a good way to explain myself. For one, it wasn't the real reason. It was the type of cold, logical reason that no one wants to hear, especially after being kissed (even if it was on the nose). If I had told him the truth then, I think he would have reluctantly accepted it, instead of kicking me out. Love is a reason that people can't hate, because there's nothing that makes you happier than hearing that you're loved. Why the hell didn't I realize that back then? Stupid!

I kind of wonder why he fainted, though. I want to ask him about it, but I feel like he must have remembered something painful. Like I forced him to remember something painful. No wonder he was so angry.

But he forgave me! Even though I deserved it! I knew I loved him for a reason.

Heh. Now I get to see that smile, the one that appears suddenly on that emotionless face, filling the cold depths of those eyes with warmth. I told him that I wanted him to fall in love with me, and I wish that could happen, but I'll be happy even if it doesn't. As long as I get to see that smile directed at me, it doesn't matter if he loves me. I think I've got enough love for the both of us, anyway.

* * *

AN: Parts of this chapter were deliberately left vague, so if you have any questions, or need clarification, ask in a review! Or review even if you don't. Please? :)


	6. Vexen and Fog

AN: Demyx was our little break from the plot. Now we're driving straight into it. I hope ya'll enjoy it. :) Thanks to Knut Case, LiteraryMirage, Zenxara, luckless-is-me and Niffstral for reviewing. Thanks again for betaing, Niff.

Oh, and a Novashadow is basically a Neoshadow on steroids. They only show up in 358/2 Days, so only Roxas has to deal with them. Lucky for Sora... They're about three times bigger.

Chapter 6: Vexen and Fog

Approximately four years ago, an eccentric chemistry teacher at a high school in the Destiny Islands, one "Vexen Even" (probably an assumed name), was arrested for charges of sexually harassing and stalking a minor. The young man in question was one of his students, yet Mr. Even claimed that the boy was a replica of another person: a doll that he had created in his personal lab, which had somehow escaped. The boy's brother was appalled at such a suggestion, and produced evidence that disproved Mr. Even's claim. With this evidence in hand, the authorities wasted no time putting Mr. Even on trial.

They were thwarted, however. Thwarted by Neo Radiant Garden's elected leader, Ansem the Wise. In a press conference, he stated that Mr. Even was such a blemish, such a stain on society, that, given the evidence, no trial was necessary, and Mr. Even would be imprisoned in the old castle dungeon.

Was Mr. Even any worse than a mass murderer or a serial rapist, to deserve a worse fate then they get? At worst, Mr. Even was a harasser and a stalker. At best, he had created a fake version of another person, and then lost track of it. Did that really merit the loss of his right to a trial, and life imprisonment in a castle dungeon?

Conspiracy theorists tried and failed to explain this miscarriage of justice. After all, there was an important question that they could not answer: why would Ansem the Wise go out of his way to keep a high school chemistry teacher in his castle? Heh. How would I know?

* * *

"Hey, Zexy… would you… um, that is… would you… like to…" Demyx attempted, and failed.

"Demyx, get to the point," Zexion insisted impatiently. "Beating around the bush isn't like you."

"Ah, is that so…" Demyx murmured. "Okay. Zexion, will you go out with me?"

"Of course."

Demyx's eyes almost shot out of his head. "What do you mean, "of course?""

"Should you really ask me that? I could reconsider," Zexion threatened calmly.

"Please don't reconsider!" Demyx begged, getting on his knees. "But, why "of course?""

"I like you," Zexion admitted easily. "I like you more every time we talk. I am not averse to a romantic relationship with you."

Demyx's eyes took on a faraway look, like he was going to float away. His face was also bright red. "I don't know how to feel right now," he admitted.

"I would suggest "happy," as a start," Zexion answered with a smile.

* * *

"All power on the Destiny Islands-"

"No lights shine in Neverland-"

"Twilight Town without pow-"

"Only Hollow Bastion unaffect-"

"The cyber-terrorist Ien-"

Zexion turned off the T.V. and threw the remote at the wall in frustration. What the hell was going on? The entire country, without power, because of a computer virus? Would he have done this? Was it someone else, taking advantage of the incident in Traverse Town, and letting him take the blame? Or were all the incidents unrelated, except for being blamed on Ienzo…?

The phone ringing would be a welcome distraction at this point. Sure, he hated the only person who would call, but maybe he could actually get some answers for once. Probably just wishful thinking.

Still. A week after Traverse Town, and suddenly Hollow Bastion was the only place with power? Whoever was responsible knew where he lived. They had to. Otherwise, Hollow Bastion would have been hit first, right?

Zexion's phone buzzed, but he wasn't being called by his usual midnight caller. "Demyx?"

"Sorry to call so late," Demyx apologized, his voiced pitched higher by the poor reception. "I figured you'd be awake, though."

"Is something wrong?"

"Uh, yeah… kind of…" Demyx admitted. "It was on the news right before the T.V. station lost power. Hollow Bastion's power is being cut off, starting from the outside, and moving toward the center. You live pretty close to the center, so I figured you wouldn't know yet… Eep!"

"Demyx?"

"Sorry. Looks like my part of the city just blacked out."

"Demyx… Are you afraid of the dark?" Zexion asked, amused despite the situation.

"No! Not the dark, no. But the news report was saying that in the areas where there's no power, the Heartless are multiplying, and even attacking buildings."

"The defense system must run on the same power grid as the city… Incompetent idiots," Zexion muttered. "Demyx, I'm going to try to reverse the outage, since it seems to be caused by a hacking attempt or a virus. I don't know how long it will take, so you might as well come over. The Heartless here are still under control."

"Okay," Demyx agreed, sounding increasingly nervous. "The outages happen every 15 minutes, and affect a ring two buildings wide…." He trailed off, his attention claimed by something else.

"Demyx?"

"Zexy, it's a Novashadow. There's a Novashadow outside my window," Demyx whispered, absolutely terrified.

"Get out of the building, and run as fast as you can. I'll send Roxas to deal with the Novashadow," Zexion promised.

"Okay." The line went dead. Zexion sighed. What an absolutely terrible week.

Emerging from his room, Zexion knocked loudly on Axel and Roxas's door. A muffled "What do you want?" came from within.

"There's a Novashadow outside Demyx's apartment, and the town defense system is offline," Zexion answered curtly.

"I'm up, I'm up," was Roxas's sleepy reply, and in under a minute, the blond was dressed, armed, and fully awake. Roxas, unlike many residents of Neo Radiant Garden, had been taught not to rely on the defense systems, and had been trained to fight the Heartless from a young age. Consequently, he had effective weapons, instead of the library books that Zexion tended to use. Axel had undergone similar training, but no one was deadlier than Roxas.

Roxas left, keyblades in hand, sprinting swiftly towards the outer ring of town, and Axel emerged from the room, half-dressed but fully aware. "Zexion, why is the town defense system down?"

Zexion, already at work trying to reverse the outage, did not look at Axel when he answered. "Some sort of virus is systematically shutting down the city's power grid, moving from the outer ring of town, to the center."

"And I assume you know why?" Axel's eyes narrowed, daring Zexion to lie.

"…Yes. You remember how Traverse Town had "Ienzo" spelled out? Each town after that had one letter illuminated, before all power was lost. Together, they spell "Ienzo lives." I suspect that one building in Hollow Bastion will be left illuminated, to express "here."" Zexion explained tonelessly, typing like a man possessed.

"You don't mean…"

"Yes. Whoever is responsible knows who Ienzo is, and where he lives. If I do not act swiftly, I will be exposed."

"So, what's the plan then?" Axel sat down at the kitchen table, across from Zexion so that he wouldn't be nauseated by the speed of Zexion's typing fingers.

"I'm writing a program that will find the virus, join with it, and, when the virus is about to trigger another outage, destroy it and restore the power. The virus responsible for the outages in the other towns was not normal… it seemed like some kind of Heartless," Zexion explained, his brow knitted with concern. "If this one is the same, then it will be vulnerable right before an attack."

"How would someone get a Heartless inside a computer… or make it into a virus?" Axel scratched the back of his head in confusion.

"I do not know. It is a little unnerving that a person capable of that knows Ienzo's identity."

Axel nodded, silently agreeing. But Axel, being Axel, could not stay serious for too long, especially given the oppressive air hanging over the city. "So, Zex… Demyx called you?"

"Obviously. I do not have cameras planted around his apartment building," Zexion replied sourly.

"And, how are things going with Demyx?" Axel asked, trying and failing to keep his facial expression neutral. Some of his triumph slipped out in the form of a grin.

"That's not the question you really want to ask," Zexion answered curtly, his typing continuing at full speed.

"Fine," Axel muttered. "Take all the fun out of it. Are you going out?"

"We are. Try to contain yourself, though," Zexion warned. "I need to focus, and you going into raptures of joy might be distracting."

Axel complied, though he continued to grin until his cell phone claimed his attention. "Roxas? There's how many? What the hell is the army doing? Did you see Demyx? Okay. Do you need help? I got it, I'll be right over." He hung up, and headed for his room, to retrieve his chakrams.

"Has Roxas encountered trouble?"

"There's not one Novashadow in that part of town. There're 50. Demyx made it out of the area without power, and he'll be here soon," Axel related hurriedly, pulling a shirt on.

"50? I don't remember hearing reports like that in the other towns…" Zexion mused, more than a little disturbed.

"Their defense systems must not have been taken out. How's your program coming?"

"It's almost done. There's only been two outages since I started, so I should finish in time," Zexion reported as Axel jammed his feet into his shoes.

"Good. If you fail, and get exposed…" Axel began.

"I'll come clean immediately, and explain that none of you knew the truth about me," Zexion recited.

"There's no guarantee that only our building will stay lit up, so don't give in that easily," Axel chided. "Now, I'm going to go kill some Heartless. The sooner you get the power back…"

"Yes, yes. Go. I can handle this."

* * *

"So, Zexy… um… can you actually reverse the outages?" Demyx asked, perched on a kitchen chair and staring intently at Zexion.

"I can," Zexion replied calmly. "My program is currently searching for the virus, but I have no doubt that it will find it."

"How is it that you know how to do something like that?"

"I can't answer that question. I suppose it's what makes me a genius," Zexion joked, leaning back in his chair.

"And, um… why are you doing this?" Demyx asked quietly.

"Because without the defense system, the city will be destroyed in a matter of hours," Zexion answered matter-of-factly. "Perhaps someone else is capable of reversing the damage, but I don't intend to sit around and do nothing."

"I can't believe there were 50 Novashadows near my apartment…" Demyx murmured. "Will my building even be there when I get back?"

"Roxas didn't say that it was gone when he called," Zexion assured him. "He and Axel should be able to at least hold them off."

"Hmm," was the only answer Demyx gave.

"Demyx, what is bothering you?"

"Maybe… maybe Ienzo is the one doing this, even though it seems different. In the story, Ienzo was the one who convinced the wise ruler to build the research facility, and the research that the apprentices did there caused Radiant Garden to be flooded with Heartless. Radiant Garden was renamed Hollow Bastion, because only Heartless lived there," Demyx related anxiously. "Maybe, he chose the name Ienzo as a way to tell us what he was going to do. To tell us that Hollow Bastion, and all of Neo Radiant Garden, is going to be destroyed by the Heartless!"

"It's not Ienzo, Demyx," Zexion answered quietly.

"How do you know?" Demyx demanded.

"I can't tell you."

"Do you know who Ienzo really is?"

"I do," Zexion admitted. "He is not responsible."

"How can you be sure?" Demyx murmured.

"I'm sorry. I can't tell you."

"Zexion!"

"Please, trust me Demyx. In two minutes, the power will return to the entire city, and it will be like this never happened. The Heartless will go away, and the city will calm down. The one responsible for this series of attacks will be found, and dragged off with a bag over his head, never to be seen again. At the time he is found, he will admit that he is not Ienzo. If this does not happen, please, think what you want." Zexion rose from his seat at the table, grabbed his laptop, and walked quickly into his room, slamming the door.

"Zexion…" Demyx rose from his seat, and Zexion's lock clicked shut. "Zexion!" Demyx ran across the room, stopping in front of Zexion's door.

"Look out the window," Zexion murmured from the other side of the door.

Demyx complied, and leaned against the living room window. All across the city, lights were going on in a ring, spreading outward. Beams of light shot from the ground, destroying the Heartless. "I didn't know that Hollow Bastion could be so beautiful," Demyx whispered in awe.

"When light appears in the midst of darkness," Zexion answered, opening his door. "There are few sights that can compare."

"That was awfully quick," Demyx observed. "Were you actually mad?"

"No," Zexion admitted. "I just wanted to get you closer to a window."

"How sneaky," Demyx muttered.

"Not compared to what I'm about to do," Zexion confessed, moving to stand in front of Demyx.

"Wh-" Demyx began. He was cut off rather suddenly by Zexion grabbing him by the collar, and kissing him.

* * *

"You weren't responsible for what happened in Traverse Town, or in all the other towns, were you?" Zexion inquired of his late night caller after Demyx had left.

"I was not. I thought that if you believed that I was responsible, you would act to stop the attacks that were coming to the other towns."

"If you weren't responsible, how did you know that more attacks were coming?'

"The attacker is one of your comrades. He escaped, and attempted to expose you, to better hide himself," the voice explained calmly. "The morning news should announce his capture, and that he will be joining Mr. Even in the castle dungeon."

"How did he… make a computer virus Heartless?" Zexion asked hesitantly.

"I'm afraid that's a secret. You will understand when you the time is right."

"Why did he try to destroy Hollow Bastion?" Zexion demanded, growing impatient.

"I suspect his reasoning is the same as yours, though he has less of a problem with doing harm."

"50 Novashadows around my boyfriends' apartment is not "less of a problem with doing harm!" How did he even know that I had a boyfriend, or where he lived?" Zexion shouted into the phone.

"Zex, can you try to keep it down?" Axel called from the next room. "Roxas finally fell asleep."

Zexion complied, falling silent. Axel and Roxas had successfully taken out close to half of the Novashadows by the time the defense system came back online, but not without injury. One Novashadow is enough of a problem for the average person.

"I told him," the voice admitted, waiting until Zexion and Axel were finished, "because the threat of harm to those that one cares for often serves as good motivation. If not for that, you might not have learned about Hollow Bastion's fate until you had been found out."

"I told you not to involve him."

"The one who sent the Heartless was Braig, not I. Braig is the one at whom you should direct your rage."

"…Braig?"

* * *

AN: You may have a good idea where I'm going with this now. You may know who Zexion's mysterious caller is. But please, review anyway. :)


	7. Xigbar, Braig, and Puddles

AN: Wooo! Some important stuff comes out in this chapter. Nothing that most of you haven't figured out already... One interesting note: it seems that opinions among you are split between what I said in the summary about this being AU, and it being canon. Which is it? I'm not telling. That ambiguity is what I was going for. :) Thanks to Zenxara, Finale Di Amore, luckless-is-me, Knut Case, LiteraryMirage, hearts are for losers, Imitation Black, SkoRn3d, and Schizo-of-Destiny. Thanks again to Niffstral for Betaing. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own, I do not own, I do not own.

Chapter 7: Xigbar, Braig and Puddles

In the early morning hours following the thwarted attack on Hollow Bastion, the police received an anonymous tip regarding the identity of the attacker. An hour after receiving the tip, Xigbar (Special ops name: Braig, last name unknown) found himself in the custody of the Radiant Garden Security Administration. He promptly confessed to perpetrating the attacks on the various towns, admitting that these attacks were an attempt to draw out and do battle with the cyber terrorist Ienzo, whom he considered a rival. When asked if it was Ienzo who reversed what Xigbar had done to Hollow Bastion, he had only smiled and said: "Who knows?"

Afterwards, Xigbar refused to answer any further questions. A thorough background check revealed little, other than Xigbar's past involvement in the military as a special ops agent. That involvement had ended more than ten years ago. His activities since then were unknown.

As a show of benevolence towards one who served the country in a highly dangerous capacity, Xigbar was allowed one day of freedom within Hollow Bastion, before being confined in the old castle dungeon with Mr. Even. Fearing for the safety of Hollow Bastion's citizens, the police encouraged (rather forcefully) all major institutions (like schools) to close so that people would stay inside.

So much fear generated by a grey-haired, one-eyed man. At the beginning of that day, I couldn't understand it. By the end of the day, I think I started to understand it. When it comes to Xigbar, and Demyx too for that matter, appearances are very deceiving.

* * *

"Zex, can you get the disinfectant?" Axel called from his bedroom, where he was examining Roxas's wounds in the light of day. "It looks like I missed some of Roxas' cuts in the dark."

"Only if you promise to let me disinfect yours. You'll just leave them if I let you," Zexion answered smoothly.

"I don't have that many cuts…"

"Surprising. Don't Novashadows have trouble hitting things less than six feet from the ground? The last time I checked, you were taller than that, and Roxas was much shorter. By that logic, you should actually be worse off…" Zexion trailed off smugly.

Axel weighed his options in silence. Face the temporary pain, or get some kind of nasty infection… "Fine… Try to be gentle, for once."

"What kind of grown man is afraid of disinfectant?" Zexion taunted, locating the cotton balls and aforementioned liquid of pain. "What the Novashadows did probably hurts more."

Axel muttered something incoherent, and Zexion made his way into the room. In the light, Roxas did look like he'd gotten the worse end of it. He was sleeping on his stomach, but the way his eyes moved told Zexion that it was by no means a sound sleep. Axel had pulled the back of Roxas's shirt up, revealing a number of nasty looking cuts. Parts of Roxas's back had been bandaged, but Axel had definitely missed some of larger ones. He probably wasn't thinking straight from his own pain, Zexion mused. "How did he get these?"

"Roxas jumps a lot when he fights, and that made it easy for the Novashadows to reach him," Axel explained quietly, soaking a cotton ball in the disinfectant, and then swiping it slowly across one of the larger cuts on Roxas's back. The sleeping Roxas didn't even twitch.

"It looks like Roxas has a higher pain tolerance than you," Zexion observed, fighting to keep the smugness out of his voice. Axel just stuck out his tongue, and continued to clean Roxas' cuts. When he had finished disinfecting and bandaging, Axel resigned himself to his fate and pulled off his shirt, allowing Zexion to see the extent of the damage. Zexion released an involuntary gasp at the sight. Axel's chest and back had been thoroughly gouged. "Your injuries, as I expected, are much worse than Roxas's," Zexion observed calmly. "Yet you still exerted yourself to take care of him. Perhaps your pain tolerance is higher than I thought."

"I didn't want Roxas to get hurt anymore," Axel murmured, staring down at Roxas's peaceful sleeping face. "If there's a Heartless problem, he always has to rush out and deal with it. He gets hurt so often, even though the Heartless are supposed to be under control. I can't stand it. If I can get hurt in his place, then the pain will be nothing, because Roxas will be okay. Even now, I don't feel the injuries. I can only think about how much pain Roxas must be in."

"He wouldn't want you to be his meat shield," Zexion stated calmly, soaking a cotton ball in disinfectant. "If he knew what a state you were in, he would be very mad at you."

"I know, but- OW! I told you to be gentle!" Axel shouted, Zexion having swabbed one of his wounds.

"Any gentler, and this wouldn't work. You should feel what you did to yourself, anyway. I can't believe you were considering letting these wounds go without being cleaned," Zexion scolded. "I have no doubt that they would have become infected. Novashadows are not renowned for having surgically sterile claws."

"Like I said, I couldn't really feel them…" Axel muttered guiltily. Zexion nodded patiently, and continued to clean and bandage Axel's wounds, with a minimum of complaints from Axel. When he was about half done, Zexion stopped suddenly.

"I'm sorry," Zexion whispered.

"For what?" Axel asked, confused.

"It's my fault that the two of you sustained these injuries. If I had acted sooner, Hollow Bastion would not have been attacked, and the Novashadows never would have appeared."

"So, the guy who did this, he really was targeting you?"

"He was. The Novashadows were somehow his doing as well," Zexion explained, caring for Axel's wounds again. "Though I'm not yet certain how he can control Heartless in this manner."

"Well, he's behind bars now, and that's all that matters," Axel assured him with a smile. "Somehow, I get the feeling that he would have come after you whether you were Ienzo or not, and I could hardly complain if you hadn't done anything illegal, so I won't now. Am I right, though? Would he still have come after you?"

"Yes," Zexion murmured. "Though I'm afraid I can't say why."

"As usual. Well, I'm not offended."

"I'm glad to hear it. You may find this next piece of news somewhat more troubling. He was given a day of freedom within Hollow Bastion, for some reason relating to past service."

"What?" Axel shouted. "How could they let someone that dangerous run free, even for a day?"

"I think he has government connections," a familiar voice called from the kitchen.

"Demyx?" Zexion recognized the voice, and then turned back to Axel, keeping his voice low. "Did you forget to lock the door last night?"

"Must've," Axel decided, scratching the back of his head. "It wasn't exactly the first thing on my mind when we got back."

"Not to be rude," Zexion began, addressing Demyx, "but is there a particular reason that you came? I'm treating Axel at the moment." Zexion was just a tad bit concerned that Demyx had overheard what they'd been talking about before.

Demyx appeared in the doorway, holding an envelope in his hands. "I found this in my apartment this morning. I think it's meant for you." He held it out for Zexion to take. Zexion examined the writing on the envelope, chuckling softly. It was addressed to "your geek of a boyfriend." He sobered quickly at the implication, and took the envelope from Demyx, tearing it open swiftly.

"Who's it from?" Axel asked, trying to get a good look at the letter.

"The one responsible for the recent cyber attacks," Zexion related, feigning indifference. He was actually terrified.

"He was in my apartment?" Demyx almost shrieked, his voice cracking.

"What could he want?" Axel muttered, thinking it out.

"He wants to meet me later today," Zexion murmured. "Though I can't imagine why. Or how he knew about Demyx and I," Zexion lied.

"Don't do it!" Axel and Demyx insisted in unison.

"It's not like I have a choice. By planting this letter in Demyx's apartment, he sends a very clear message: comply, or he'll resort to drastic measures," Zexion explained.

"It'll be pretty dangerous, though," Axel pointed out. "There's no one on the streets today. If he decides to off you, no one is going to stop him."

"If he's as dangerous as they say, he would have done so by now. I'm going to see what he wants." Zexion slapped the last bandage on Axel's back with a bit more force than necessary.

"Fine. Just don't do anything stupid."

"No promises. Demyx, in the meantime, could you stay here and watch over the injured?"

"Sure," Demyx agreed. "It's probably safer here, anyway, since that guy knows where I live."

"If I'm not back in two hours, call the police," Zexion ordered, stuffing the letter in his pocket and heading into the kitchen to wash his hands. "Oh… Does the name Braig mean anything to either of you?"

"Oh, yeah!" Demyx exclaimed. "It's from the old story about the wise ruler and his six apprentices! He's the second apprentice."

"I didn't know that people knew the names of the other apprentices," Axel murmured.

"My sister was researching them, for some reason," Demyx explained. "She said that Braig had some connection to the sacred weapons that can permanently banish the Heartless."

"Xigbar and Braig, huh…" Zexion murmured to himself.

* * *

Xigbar's letter indicated that they should meet in the courtyard of one of the first year dorms near Zexion's college. With everyone indoors, a place surrounded by windows was as close to a public place as could be had. Whether that was good or not remained to be seen.

As expected, Xigbar was already there, seated at one of the wooden tables that peppered the grassy area. He didn't turn around, or indicate that he'd noticed Zexion approaching, but Zexion suspected that Xigbar wasn't someone that you could sneak up on.

"You actually came," Xigbar observed cheerfully. "I was starting to think I hid the letter too well."

"Let's get this over with," Zexion muttered irritably, sitting down across from Xigbar. "What do you want?"

"Nothing much," Xigbar admitted. "Just wanted to get a good look at you. You're younger than I expected."

"You say that, but you're not actually surprised."

"You're pretty sharp, kiddo."

"Please don't call me that." Zexion was starting to regret his decision to hear Xigbar out. "Can you get to the point? I'm certain that you wouldn't waste time on your last day of freedom just to get a look at me."

"Well, to be honest, I don't really consider that a waste of time," Xigbar admitted. "I wanted to see the only one of us to go into a life of crime after it was decided. The rest of us, with one exception, were criminals before, and that's how they could drag us off without anyone caring. "

"Who is "us?""

"Oh, he didn't tell you about us?" Xigbar smirked. "Well, do you remember how a high school chemistry teacher was carted off to the castle dungeon a while back? That's Even. The kid he was accused of stalking actually was a replica that he'd made, but when it got loose, it found the person it was based on. Several forged documents later, and Even is spending the rest of his days in the castle."

"…I remember that story. That theory was popular at the time, though no one could explain why he was singled out like that."

"About six years ago, something similar happened to me. I won't tell you what for. Before me, there were two others. In the end, you'll be joining us there," Xigbar explained. "But, man! You hadn't done anything wrong, yet it was decided that you'd go there anyway. So what did you do? You made yourself a criminal. Now, even if you escape, they'll be justified in dragging you back."

"But why? It feels like we're being collected…" Zexion murmured.

"That's exactly what he's doing," Xigbar agreed.

"He called you Braig, one of the apprentices from the story." Some of the pieces were starting to fall into place, but Zexion didn't like the picture they were forming.

"It was my special ops name, before I retired."

"Are the others… referred to by the apprentice's names too?"

"That's right," Xigbar agreed, still cheerful. "Xehanort, Braig, Dilan, Even, Aeleus and Ienzo."

"Does that mean you know about the sacred weapons?" Zexion asked, deeply curious. It was a piece of folklore that he knew nothing about.

"Sacred weapons? Well, I might know," Xigbar admitted. "But why would I tell you?"

"As compensation. I beat you. You then snuck into my boyfriends' apartment to plant that letter. I think I have the right to get some kind of compensation," Zexion answered smoothly.

"Heh." Xigbar's eye narrowed, giving him a distinctly feral look. "Fair enough. The sacred weapons are keyblades."

"Keyblades…" Roxas?

"Sounds like that's not the first time you've heard of them," Xigbar observed, just the tiniest bit impressed.

"The one who dealt with the Novashadows you sent: he dual-wields keyblades," Zexion explained. "He's one of my roommates."

"You sure know some interesting people. Well, the keyblade is a weapon that can lock or unlock anything, be it doors or hearts. Not just anyone can use a keyblade," Xigbar explained. "You have to be chosen. So that friend of yours must be pretty special."

"I won't disagree with that. How is it that the keyblade can permanently defeat Heartless?"

"Oh, that's a very special matter," Xigbar began, that feral look still in his eyes. "When the keyblade destroys a certain kind of Heartless, it releases the captive heart that the Heartless held. The captive heart joins with Kingdom Hearts, and it can't become a Heartless anymore."

"How interesting…" Zexion murmured, forgetting briefly where he was, or who he was with as he contemplated the keyblade. But wait! Xigbar wasn't actually Braig. Was it a coincidence that he knew the same things? And, the question of how he controlled the Heartless remained. "Xigbar, how did you control Heartless in the manner that you did?"

"Like I'd tell you. But, I guess I can give you a hint," Xigbar conceded. "There is nothing in this world that can't be encoded into data, except for Kingdom Hearts."

"You mean…"

"And that's all you get. You're smart enough to figure it out on your own," Xigbar stated confidently. He glanced down at his wrist, checking his watch. "Looks like it's time for me to be moving on. It looks like I won't be seeing the light of day again after today, unless I escape again. It'll be the same for you too, soon."

"Hm."

"Don't waste any time," Xigbar advised him. "You may get out of this somehow, but you probably won't. Just don't have any regrets."

"I know," Zexion murmured. "He told me that too."

"Well, somehow, I think his idea of having no regrets is a bit different from ours."

"You're probably right," Zexion agreed.

"Well, if you understand, then go home to your boyfriend," Xigbar encouraged him with a grin. "You don't want to die a virgin, do you?"

Zexion's face flushed at the mention of Demyx, and he looked down quickly. When he recovered his composure, he looked up, but Xigbar was gone, though his laughter could still be heard in the air. "What a strange person," Zexion murmured to himself.

* * *

"Zexion! You're still alive!" Demyx squealed joyfully, throwing his arms around Zexion the instant he walked in the door.

"Of course I'm alive. If he really wanted to kill me, he wouldn't have arranged to meet in a public place," Zexion explained nonchalantly. He did get the feeling that Xigbar could've snapped his neck at any time.

"You're probably right," Demyx agreed without much reluctance.

"How are Axel and Roxas?"

"Umm… Axel fell asleep after you left, and Roxas woke up a few minutes ago. When he saw Axel's bandages, I had to hold him back, or he would've killed him," Demyx related, sporting an embarrassed grin. "Roxas should be eating now."

"Axel's really going to get it when he wakes up," Zexion remarked, glancing into the kitchen. Roxas had a sea salt ice cream bar clamped between his teeth, and a glint in his eyes, daring them to comment on today's breakfast.

Demyx dared. "Shouldn't you eat something healthier for breakfast? You're recovering from some serious injuries, and your body needs nutrients!"

Roxas didn't snap as expected, though. Comments regarding his health reminded him of Axel, and caused his mood to swing sharply downward. "I'll eat something better later," he promised quietly.

"Try to cheer up," Zexion encouraged Roxas calmly. "Axel felt like every injury he took was one that you weren't taking, so he was happy to do it, the idiot."

"I know… I just feel like, if I was better, he wouldn't have had to do that!" Roxas insisted.

"Roxas, Axel loves you," Demyx began. "He would throw himself in front of you even if there wasn't any danger."

"…That idiot," Roxas muttered into his ice cream bar.

* * *

AN: Please review. I got so many reviews last chapter that I smiled for hours. Please?


	8. Mom, Puberty, and Frost

AN: This chapter was difficult... Yet I managed to finish it well in advance of today. I wonder what you'll think of it... Thanks to Niffstral for betaing, and thanks to LiteraryMirage, SkoRn3d, luckless-is-me, Yumeoni, Knut Case, musiclover1933, Schizo-of-Destiny, Niffstral, and Zenxara for reviewing.

Disclaimer: I do not own, I do not own, I do not own.

Chapter 8: Mom, Puberty, and Frost

When I was little, my mother had a number of stock phrases she would use. She was very no-nonsense; "Say what you mean," and "Don't hide your feelings," being some of her favorites. Above all, you could tell that she valued honesty. She couldn't abide lies. If you can't tell someone something, tell them that. Often, they will understand, and if they don't, it's only because they're concerned. I took what she said to heart. While it pains me to have to keep aspects of my life completely secret, I do not want to cause undue concern. These burdens are mine alone to bear. My mother understood that concept, in theory.

I can't tell anyone what my future holds, for they would surely try to stop it. I can't allow them to get involved any further. I can't tell Demyx or Roxas that I'm Ienzo. If they did not hate me from the start, then they, like Axel, would only try to stop me. I can't tell anyone about my past, about what was done to a relatively normal suburban family. What purpose would it serve? Would my burden be lifted? Would I be allowed to see my parents again, or my brother and sister?

No. I'll never see any of them again.

To protect these secrets, the ones that I can never tell anyone, I distanced myself from others. There are those who weren't particularly put off by that, like Axel, but… there was a wall around my heart. I remember being described once as someone with no room for emotion, though I can't remember who said it. The truth is, I wasn't willing to let my emotions control me, and run free as they did to some small extent when I was younger.

Lately, it feels like the walls are being besieged, and coming down around me. I feel like I'm getting whiplash from the way my emotions are dragging me around. I yelled at someone three times in one day. I agreed to start dating someone. I… kissed… someone. I can't control myself anymore. I should be bothered by this, but for some reason, I'm not.

Oh Kingdom Hearts above. It's puberty, come at last.

* * *

Demyx awoke on an unfamiliar floor. He wasn't sure how he'd gotten there, what time it was, or even what day it was at all. He knew one thing, however, and it was that his head hurt like a bitch.

"Where am I?" He murmured sleepily, trying to sit up. He was stopped by a foot pressing down on his chest.

"It would appear that you did not sedate him properly," a smooth, oddly familiar voice rang out, supposedly coming from the wielder of the foot.

"Hey, totally not my fault. He took his sweet time leaving Ienzo's place," another voice argued from across the room. "I didn't have much time." Demyx felt himself beginning to sweat. What the hell was going on?

"…Ienzo?" Demyx asked cautiously, his mouth curiously dry.

"I'm going to knock him back out," the first speaker announced, and Demyx saw a syringe enter his field of vision. Oh god, what the hell? Wait a second… that first voice was definitely familiar.

"Mr. Even?"

Demyx heard the other speaker snort, and the pressure on his chest increased. There was a sharp pain in his arm, and Demyx quickly found himself slipping out of consciousness.

Demyx awoke in his own bed, thoroughly ready to call whatever that was a dream, except when he realized that he didn't remember coming home. He'd left Zexion's apartment, walked a few blocks, then nothing. What the hell? A glance at his alarm clock, then his calendar revealed that he had about 24 hours unaccounted for. It should have been night on Monday, not Tuesday.

Obviously, something had happened… not necessarily what little he remembered, but something must have happened between leaving Zexion's and getting home… "Ienzo…" Demyx murmured thoughtfully. "Have I met the hacker that everyone talks about?" Demyx contemplated calling someone, just to ask if they'd seen him yesterday… He'd obviously missed classes.

Demyx flopped back down into bed, sighing in frustration. "What happened yesterday? And today too, I guess," he asked his ceiling, not really expecting a response. He rolled on to his side, looking out the window wistfully. There weren't any giant, scary Heartless out there tonight… just Kingdom Hearts shining down on them with a peaceful glow. "Stupid moon," Demyx muttered. "You know what happened, don't you? Would it be so hard to tell me?"

* * *

"It would appear I owe you an apology."

"For what, exactly?" Zexion asked, suspicious. Another night, another late night phone call.

"Braig and Even overstepped their bounds."

"…How exactly did they do that in a way that concerns me?" Zexion was a little tired of dealing with this kind of conversation.

"Oh, you didn't notice? I suppose I should have known that you would be the neglectful type."

"Can you get to the point please?" Zexion's irritation spiked dangerously.

"Braig and Even sedated and absconded with the emotionally confused young man that you call your boyfriend when he was on his way home last evening. How Even got out, I do not know. They returned him about an hour ago, and only at my urging. I sincerely apologize for the trouble. I have dealt with Braig, but Even- " Zexion snapped his phone shut, ending the call. What. The. Hell.

Zexion considered the situation carefully. Could he call Demyx and check? He would have to invent some pretext for calling, and he would not be able to explain the situation without revealing himself… No, better not to call. In the morning, he would send Demyx a message remarking that he had not seen him the day before. Demyx would invent a reason or tell him the truth, and they would go on with their lives. Yes, it would be just that simple…

…As soon as he found out why the fuck Xigbar had done that, anyway. And then he would castrate the bastard. How was he supposed to find out, though? He had no way to directly contact him, and Xigbar didn't do straight answers. Well, Zexion could wait. Oh yes, he could wait.

* * *

When morning came, Zexion found Axel staggering out of his bedroom weakly. Yeah, that was so not happening. It only took a light push from behind to send Axel sprawling onto the ground indignantly. "What the hell was that for?" Axel demanded.

"You are not supposed to be walking around, especially without help. Roxas may walk around because he wasn't shredded to bits like you. You, however, are not to make any attempts at living a normal life until I deem you fit to do so," Zexion scolded him coldly.

"Aw, but Zex-"

"No buts. If your wounds reopen, you'll have to stay in bed even longer, and that's longer that you'll have to go without sex." Zexion had imposed strict guidelines to ensure that Axel and Roxas healed as quickly as possible. One of them was no sex. Axel had argued against it, cited health benefits, and been crushed. You just don't argue with a genius. Roxas had wisely chosen to give in without a fight.

"Ugh, fine," Axel gave in. "Can you help me back to bed, then?"

"With pleasure," Zexion replied easily, bending down to grab one of Axel's arms, wrapping it around his own shoulders and then standing suddenly, pulling Axel to his feet.

"Why do you get to go to class, anyway?" Axel muttered, pouting a little as Zexion guided him back to his room. "What if one of us were to fall in the shower and not be able to get up? We could be dead by the time you get back."

"Exactly why you're not supposed to be up," Zexion agreed. "Since you are both the heavier of the two of you and the most likely to fall."

"…You think of everything, don't you?"

"If I didn't, it would be very difficult to get you to take care of yourself," Zexion replied with a tiny smile, lowering Axel back into bed very slowly, so as not to wake Roxas.

Axel's eyelids fluttered sleepily as he attempted to stay conscious. As Zexion was about to leave the room, Axel called out to him. "Zex, I'm sorry."

"For what?" Zexion asked, not quite believing what he was hearing.

"If I wasn't like this, maybe you could've done something else yesterday, like gone out with Demyx or something."

"Don't be silly," Zexion insisted sharply. For one, Demyx was kidnapped and unavailable yesterday. "It's my fault that you're like this, so I should handle what comes with that."

"Well, yeah, but…" Axel tried again, only to be cut off.

"I forbid you from continuing to act this way. Axel, sleep. When you wake up, go back to how you normally behave. I can't stand you acting so pathetic," Zexion snapped, leaving the room and shutting the door a little harder than he might have normally.

"Is it just me," Roxas murmured sleepily, "or is Zexion acting a little more… emotional lately?"

"It could be his time of the month," Axel joked.

"Axel. I'm trying to be serious," Roxas scolded him, hitting Axel's arm lightly. "In all the time you knew him before you met me, did you ever see him get angry, like, genuinely angry and not just irritated, or genuinely sad, to the point where he's cried? Both of those have happened in the last two weeks."

"I hadn't seen him like that before," Axel admitted without hesitation. "Back when he thought I was annoying, he'd just brush me off like a fleck of dust, like I wasn't worth getting angry over. Even after we became friends, the only change was that he'd smile."

Roxas smiled sleepily, drifting back into dreamland. "Is he finally going through puberty?"

"God, I hope so."

* * *

Truth be told, Zexion hated leaving Axel and Roxas alone in the apartment, injured as badly as they were. Even without them trying to get up and move around, something could happen. Not that Zexion could do much to protect them, but he suspected that his presence served as a deterrent. Xigbar had waited to grab Demyx until after Demyx had left Zexion's apartment, when he could have easily snatched him from Zexion's apartment, though admittedly, Xigbar could not have done so without being seen.

So, Zexion was troubled. Nothing seemed to be going right lately. Well, his unpleasant dreams had stopped. They made a bit more sense now, following a story from start to finish, and mostly leaving Zexion's head when he awoke. And he'd kissed Demyx. He'd quite enjoyed the look on the blond's face afterwards: a cross between surprise and bliss that Zexion was certain he's never seen before. Still, Zexion was troubled. This impacted his concentration. He would have been better off skipping his classes that day, with the amount of attention he paid them. So relieved was he when his last class ended that Zexion practically sprinted from the room without a backward glance.

A quick check of his phone revealed that Demyx was going the honest route (as far as Zexion knew), his message stating that he actually didn't remember what had happened yesterday.

In actuality, Demyx was purposely concealing what he did remember from that day. He wasn't stupid. If the Ienzo that those two had referred to was the same Ienzo, then there was only one person in that apartment who possessed the skills to be a well-known hacker. Demyx wasn't 100% sure (surprise surprise), but even if he was, he wouldn't say anything. He was going to hold on to Zexion for as long as he could, whether Zexion was a wanted criminal or not. They were finally getting somewhere, dammit!

Zexion hurried home, receiving a shock when he reached the hallway outside the apartment. Leaning against the wall, wearing a long white lab coat and contemplating a clipboard was a man that he'd only ever seen on television before: the man known as Vexen Even. This was not a man that Zexion needed to see now, or possibly ever. His mere presence caused Zexion's normally clear thinking to be clouded with rage.

There was no way that this was going to end well for anyone.

Vexen looked up from his clipboard suddenly, having finally noticed the seething teenager standing in front of him. "In retrospect, perhaps I should have looked up your class schedule before seeking you out," Vexen observed idly, taking note of something on his clipboard.

"What the fuck do you want?" Zexion asked savagely, ability to think rationally becoming harder to reach with each passing second.

"My, my!" Vexen exclaimed, pretending to be surprised at Zexion's behavior/language choice. "I was told that you were an eloquent, intelligent young man, and not like a normal teenager at all."

"Sorry to disappoint, but you've forfeited any attempt at civility on my part," Zexion replied coolly, striding past Vexen, unlocking the door, and stalking into the apartment. When he did not slam the door in Vexen's face, Vexen took that as an invitation and entered. As Zexion checked to make sure that Axel and Roxas were sound asleep, Vexen heard him mutter something like, "I have to deal with too fucking many of you guys lately."

"What could have brought on such a rage, and such a forfeiture on my part?" Vexen asked, feigning innocence.

"I'm not exactly out of the loop, you know," Zexion replied in a slightly calmer voice. "I know that Xigbar swiped Demyx, that the two of you did something to him, and that you then brought him back. You haven't gone back since then."

"Such attention that he shows you," Vexen observed slyly. "We were never shown such kindness by our captor. I suppose you must be his favorite, to still be loved so after all your attempts at rebellion."

"Don't change the subject. Why did you two do that to Demyx?"

"Xigbar was curious. He was surprised that his attempt to rile you by putting the blond in danger actually worked. All previous accounts of you indicated that you did not care much for anyone outside of your family," Vexen explained, an air of smugness to his tone. "True, that you cared for your friends was evident, but they were safe, living with you as they are. Any attempt to attack you directly would have meant a far worse fate for him than the one he received."

"He was curious, so he kidnapped someone?" Zexion couldn't believe this. Sure, there was obviously more to Xigbar than met the eye, but…

"I admit, his execution was somewhat questionable," Vexen agreed. "I am not certain what he hoped to gain from it either, but I agreed to help in exchange for him revealing the way out."

"…Did he actually do anything other than grab and sedate Demyx?" Zexion felt his heart rate returning to normal.

"As far as I saw, he just looked at the boy, though I doubt much could be learned about how one person affects another while one of those people is unconscious," Vexen observed wryly.

Zexion was now fully calm. Demyx hadn't been hurt because of him. All was well. Castrating Xigbar might not be necessary after all. "Did you come here just to tell me that, or did you have some deeper purpose?"

"I would not endanger myself by coming here just to tell you that," Vexen assured Zexion, one eye bulging as he smiled slyly. "It merely seemed wise to answer your questions. It seems to have brought you into a more reasonable frame of mind, has it not?"

"Fine. What do you want?"

"I believe that Xigbar may have let something slip while Demyx was conscious that could expose your identity, and establish a connection with us," Vexen explained calmly. "He referred to "Ienzo's place." I thought it common courtesy to warn you, as compensation for the kidnapping."

Zexion was cold. So cold. He felt like he was being wrapped in snow and ice. Xigbar… had exposed him? Demyx knew? No. No no no no no- Wait. Why did he care, again? Oh, right. Demyx was thawing his heart out. He was so close to spring…

"I suspect that Demyx does not remember that, though. He was heavily sedated before and after, so his memory of what little time he spent awake should be fuzzy at best," Vexen continued, offering little more than cold comfort, until Zexion remembered that Demyx didn't remember anything (allegedly). Demyx was always cheerfully honest. He must have really not remembered.

"Thank you for risking capture by coming to tell me that," Zexion replied politely. "I'm sure your freedom means a lot to you."

"It would mean more if my name were unsullied by false accusations," Vexen replied darkly, staring at a spot on the wall like it had offended him. He quickly recovered, schooling his face back into a more normal expression (for Vexen, that is). "If I am caught and dragged back, I suspect we shall meet again."

"Good luck."

"Ha. Well, I appreciate the sentiment, but if Xigbar couldn't avoid being caught, I have no chance at all," Vexen remarked wistfully. "Though I suppose he did draw attention to himself." Vexen made his way back to the door, stopping just short of it. "Keep up the good work, Ienzo. I would hate to see your talents go to waste."

* * *

AN: http: / /i92. photobucket. com /albums /l9 /Lindoreda /DSCI0003. jpg For the spot where Xigbar and Zexion met, 'cause it's pretty in autumn, though not much of a courtyard... Obviously, take out the spaces...


	9. Organization XIII, Love, and Tidal Waves

AN: This one almost came out late, because of the trouble I had with it. Too OOC? Too soon? But Niffstral approved this chapter, so I think it's okay. Thanks to Niffstral, XxMiseryxIsxMyxMasterxX, luckless-is-me, LiteraryMirage, -JansenFriedh827-, Knut Case, and Schizo-of-Destiny for reviewing. I think this chapter should make some things very clear, though there isn't much actual plot development. There is another kind of development, though...

Disclaimer: If only I owned Kingdom Hearts... But I don't.

Chapter 9: Organization XIII, Love, and Tidal Waves

A long time ago, following the death of Radiant Garden and the birth of Hollow Bastion, a powerful group of men arose. They could not truly be called men, for they lacked hearts. Such beings are widely called "Nobodies," for they say that Nobodies do not really exist at all, being formed of a body and soul alone. In the beginning, there were six powerful Nobodies in this group, rumored to be the Nobodies of the wise rulers' apprentices. They planned and plotted, and began to recruit newly born Nobodies, who were drawn by the promise of regaining their hearts someday.

This was not meant to be. The first two to join after the original six plotted to overthrow their leader, for he did not really desire a heart. The third to join was incompetent. The fourth was nothing special. The fifth and sixth (the only woman) also plotted the overthrow of their leader. The last true member, the seventh to join and numbered XIII in the group, gave them their name: Organization XIII. Without him, they could not accomplish their goal, and he was quickly adopted by one of the rebel factions.

That they should all fall back into darkness was inevitable. The ruthlessness that comes with heartlessness made it impossible for many to realize that their lack of unity utterly destroyed them. And yet, the story goes that one member of Organization XIII sacrificed his shadow of a life so that another could live, and that this created a karmic bond between the two. Such a bond… would it be a joy, or a burden?

I can't say. I'll never have something like that.

* * *

Through the castle bailey and postern, into the corridors… Avoid the destroyed parts and head as far back as possible. There are twists and turns, but above all, move inward. The stone changes color, and a solid wooden door appears. Beyond the door, past the desk and broken glass. Give the painting a kick for good measure. Open the secret passage in the wall. Along the walkway, into the computer room. Access the computer. Without the computer, the door won't open.

What's the password?

It's…

* * *

Axel was beginning to understand why he wasn't supposed to be moving around. You know how some injuries actually start to hurt more partway through the healing process, after which you can barely feel them at all? Axel and Roxas had hit that stage of healing, and they were in agony. Axel in particular, since he had more injuries.

This was partially good, as it meant that Axel made no further attempts to get out of bed alone, and Roxas wasn't walking around and making him jealous.

After all, at his core, Axel was someone that enjoyed idleness when it was okay to be idle, but when there was work to be done, though he'd complain, he'd also throw himself into it wholeheartedly. Lying around sleeping all day, when he was supposed to be in class didn't sit right with him.

On the bright side, Axel knew that listening to Zexion would make the pain and injury go away faster. When they got through this part, Axel was going to behave himself until he fully healed. The risk of reopening his wounds and going through this phase of healing again was not one that Axel was willing to take.

* * *

Demyx is a terrible liar. Acting natural when he's hiding something is not a skill of his. Hell, acting natural normally is hard enough for him. Therefore, you can understand why he would be nervous about his first face-to-face meeting with Zexion since that day that he doesn't remember. It would be so easy for Zexion to tell that something was up, and then force him to talk. Then it would all be over.

He could panic. It would be easy. It would also make the fact that he knew something that he shouldn't abundantly clear. That option was out. He also couldn't, err… "emulate" another person's example. He hadn't been doing that lately (because Zexion recognizes it when he does it), so suddenly doing so would be more than a little suspicious. His last option, probably the least likely to fail, was to try and act normal, and blame any weird behavior on being worried over what had happened on Tuesday. It wouldn't be a lie, really.

No sooner had he decided this than his last class of the day (Thursday now) was ending, and it was time to face the music. Insert bad music joke here. Anyway, Demyx had made plans to go over to Zexion's (and Axel's and Roxas', but he wasn't thinking of them, especially since they were stuck in bed) apartment for dinner for two reasons: Number one, Zexion could cook like Nobody's' business. Number two, with two roommates that could easily hurt themselves by trying to take care of themselves, Zexion did not foresee leaving them alone except for classes in the near future. If he wanted to see Zexion, Demyx had to come to him. In other words, this dinner would be his test.

…Demyx tended to fail tests.

But failure was not an option! So, much sooner than he wanted, Demyx was standing awkwardly outside the apartment door, trying to decide whether he should knock now, or wait. He decided to wait, but Zexion chose that moment to check if he'd shown up yet. Demyx recoiled in shock. How suspicious.

"Did you knock? I apologize if I didn't hear. My mind was elsewhere." Zexion explained impassively, his eyes fixed on Demyx's face.

Demyx knew that he was being watched, to see if he would continue to act odd, but he ignored it, and seized the change that Zexion had given him. "Uh, yeah. A couple of minutes ago," Demyx lied.

"You could have knocked again," Zexion pointed out, returning to the kitchen and leaving Demyx to close the door and follow.

"I didn't want to be a bother if you'd heard me the first time, but had your hands covered in goop, or something. Cooking involves that, right?" Demyx didn't know. He lived on easy mac, cereal and ramen.

"It can," Zexion agreed, his back turned so that Demyx couldn't see his smile. "In this case, salmon cakes require being molded into the proper shape, and fish is not the most hygienic thing to have on your hands when you touch a doorknob."

"Salmon cakes?" Demyx's eyes lit up. "Who told you?"

"Who told me what?"

"That I love every kind of seafood, edible or hazardous, but I can't afford any of it, and even if I could, I wouldn't know what to do with it," Demyx explained breathlessly.

"Ah." Zexion nodded in understanding, calmly pressing the salmon patties into the breadcrumbs. "No one told me. I suppose I just made a good guess."

Demyx smiled brightly, though Zexion couldn't see that with his back turned. Zexion heard Demyx murmur something about someone being too easy to love (he could make a number of guesses on to whom Demyx referred, but he preferred not to). Then a pair of thin arms wrapped around Zexion's waist, followed by a bony chest pressing against his back. Zexion glanced down at the arms encircling him. The light blue "Save the Whales" bracelet around the left wrist confirmed that his "assailant" was indeed Demyx, and not one of the invalids, or a passing molester. Not that any of the other possibilities made sense anyway.

He had to admit; Demyx's warmth was quite distracting. Dinner preparations were temporarily forgotten, as Zexion's thoughts had been taken over by the heartbeat thudding softly into his back, and the warm breath blowing in his ear, both of which too slow for a conscious person. To Zexion's chagrin, Demyx had felt body heat, and fallen asleep.

"Just like a kid," Zexion murmured, not without affection. But the problem remained that Zexion's mobility was severely hampered by fact that his body weight had effectively doubled, half of it being dead weight. He couldn't continue dinner this way, and he couldn't seem to get Demyx off of him either. He could only guess when the taller man would wake up, and he wasn't just going to stand there and wait. Likewise, he wasn't going to wake Demyx. He'd been acting slightly odd before, and given how quickly he'd fallen asleep, Zexion suspected that Demyx had been worried about something, and had finally relaxed about whatever it was. He wasn't going to interfere with that.

So, what to do? Zexion had no choice but to ask for help.

"Roxas!" Zexion found it rather difficult to call for the shorter blond. He was torn between keeping his voice down for Demyx and Roxas being asleep and not hearing him.

Roxas, however, was quite awake. Pain will do that. "Is something wrong?" He didn't sound the least bit drowsy.

"I require your assistance, if you feel up to it. It's nothing too strenuous." Why did Zexion feel like that last statement was a lie?

The rustling of cloth came from the bedroom, and Roxas emerged wearing sweats, his spiky blond hair more than a little tousled from several days of just lying in bed. If not for the large bandage on his left cheek, it would not have been obvious that he was injured.

"Is this a joke?" Roxas asked, raising an eyebrow. "I don't see a problem here."

"I am in the middle of dinner preparations," Zexion explained, exasperated. "I can't move very well with Demyx attached to me."

"You can still move your arms," Roxas observed with a smile, not moving from in front of the bedroom door.

"Roxas, please," Zexion begged, though he kept his composure while doing so. "I'll give you the leftovers."

Roxas smiled cheerfully. "I'll see what I can do."

Unfortunately for Zexion, Demyx had settled in for the long haul. No matter what he did, Roxas couldn't unloop Demyx's arms. For someone who was renowned as a great slayer of Heartless, being unable to break the iron grip of an average music student was a bit… frustrating. Aggravating. Humiliating. All sorts of adjectives came to mind.

Zexion attempted to fry the salmon cakes with Demyx hanging off of him and Roxas tugging on Demyx's arms, in the hope that the smell of fried fish would wake him.

It turns out that Zexion is a genius.

When Roxas was on the brink of giving up, muttering something about security blankets (a comment which Zexion did NOT appreciate), the smell wafted into Demyx's nostrils, and he was awake in an instant. He did not let go immediately.

"Mmm… fish…" Demyx then realized what exactly he was doing. He leapt back from Zexion as if he'd been burned, knocking Roxas into the wall in the process.

"Do I still get the leftovers?" Roxas asked, holding the back of his head where it had hit the wall.

Zexion thought it over for a moment, giving Demyx time to recover himself. The fauxhawked blonds' face very much resembled Axel's hair at that moment. "You have to share them with Axel," Zexion decided, retrieving the salmon cakes from the pan with a spatula and setting them on a paper towel.

"Okay," Roxas agreed with a smile, returning to the cool darkness of his and Axel's bedroom. When the door had shut quietly behind him, Demyx began uttering a string of incoherent apologies for carelessly falling asleep like that. Zexion waved all of his apologies off, not really bothered now that it was over.

"You seemed troubled when you came here," Zexion observed calmly, watching Demyx from the corner of his eye. "It must have tired you out."

"Yeah…" Demyx agreed quietly, his coloring returning to normal. "I was worried about what happened on Monday and Tuesday." It wasn't a lie. "I felt safe again, all of a sudden."

"Roxas did compare me to a security blanket." Zexion was smiling again, and again Demyx couldn't see. "I called him in to help detach you. If I hadn't been busy with dinner, I wouldn't have bothered," he admitted softly. "If I can help you with your worries, I would be glad to do so."

"But why?" Demyx's eyes were large and round. The answer to this question was very important to him.

"Because…" Zexion hesitated, and then turned to face Demyx. "Because you love me. You do, don't you?" Demyx nodded vigorously. "There are few people who genuinely love me," Zexion admitted. "I try to take care of them. In my way, of course."

Demyx laughed quietly. "I feel like I'm part of an exclusive club," he admitted.

""The People Zexion Loves" club?" Zexion asked, smiling softly.

Demyx's breath caught in his throat. "…W-what?" Was that a slip of the tongue? Or was it the truth? Demyx's head was swimming, utterly overwhelmed by the stream of thoughts that entered into his brain at that moment.

"You're not quite a full member of that club yet," Zexion admitted, his left hand brushing back the hair that hung over his right eye, bringing the normally hidden eye into full view. "But I suspect it won't be long before you are."

Demyx's legs gave out, and he landed hard on the kitchen floor. Zexion started forward, worried that Demyx had hurt himself, but Demyx's face convinced him otherwise. The blonds' smile stretched from ear to ear, giving his face a radiant glow. Zexion, struck by the beauty of such an expression, stopped dead in his tracks. Demyx eventually snapped out of his reverie, drawn by the smell of the salmon cakes.

"So, Zexy, is dinner ready?"

* * *

Demyx was curled up on the couch, sleeping like a large, much more cuddly cat. Zexion had insisted that he stay, mildly concerned about his safety. Going home after dark last time had ended in… well, that situation was hardly typical. And Vexen wasn't likely to swoop down out of the night and abduct one of his former students on a whim. No, whims were Xigbar's thing.

Well, not just Xigbar. Zexion was surprised that Vexen had escaped, and he hadn't even gotten a phone call. The master of whims had obviously lost interest for the moment, or was too busy to harass others. Or maybe he'd missed something. He had hung up rather suddenly last time. Perhaps the old man was trying to tell him something important at the time.

Zexion dismissed the possibility, turning his attention back to the sleeping guitar major. He felt bad making Demyx sleep on the couch, but he was in no hurry to repeat Roxas' morning after special. If he woke up in an unfamiliar bed, Demyx would probably panic, even if he were alone in the bed. Especially after being kidnapped.

Zexion was right, of course. Demyx definitely would have panicked. He still hadn't gotten quite used to the idea of Zexion being a cyber terrorist. No, that idea was taking some time to sink in. Moreover, the fact that Zexion was somehow connected to his kidnappers was… well… troubling, to say the least. He desperately wanted to ask about it, but since he couldn't predict how well that conversation would end, he was keeping his mouth shut.

Still, Demyx was comforted by the fact that Zexion didn't seem to know that he suspected anything. He hadn't given himself away. He'd passed the test. Tomorrow would be a whole new one. But Demyx wasn't worried. He was so close to getting what he'd been after since his first year in college. He'd made a ridiculous amount of progress in the last two and half weeks. That was what convinced sleeping Demyx that he and Zexion really were similar: they had both quickly made up their minds about the other.

So, as Zexion headed into his room, eyes softer than many would have believed possible, he forgot for the moment what his future held. He forgot that his happiness was always short lived. He forgot that he was always being watched. He forgot all of that. The only thing in his mind as he crawled into bed was the fauxhawked music student sleeping peacefully on the couch, and how much more his heart would thaw by the morning.

* * *

AN: Obviously, next chapter is gonna bring the action back. Obviously. Please review!


	10. No i, Tron, and the Tide

AN: I finished this chapter way early, but Niff took her sweet time reading it. Since the last chapter was romancy, this chapter is very plotty. Very. You may hate me when this is done. I hope not, though. Thanks to Danni-la, Zenxara, -JansenFriedh827-, LiteraryMirage, Niffstral, terracannon876 (especially for making this the first KH fic you've read in a while; I'm glad it was mine too. :) ), luckless-is-me, Schizo-of-Destiny and Knut Case for reviewing. Thanks again to Niffstral for convincing me that the ending of this chapter was not terrible.

Oh, if you don't know what the deal is with Xion, well... it prolly won't come up, but if it does, I'll leave a warning.

Disclaimer: You know at this point, right? I don't own anything. T_T

Chapter 10: No. i, Tron, and the Tide

I have come to the conclusion that he is insane. Utterly. There is no other explanation for the behavior of gathering up a seemingly unrelated group of individuals, addressing them by names from an old story, and locking them up tight. Moreover, he is desperate to have us, going to ridiculous lengths in order to obtain us. But why? In what way are we connected, in that brain of his? Why…

Why have I been Ienzo since before I took the name willingly? Why did he decree that I couldn't see my parents again? Why did he take my sister from me? Why did he say that if I tried to run, they would hurt her? Why won't he refer to her as a girl, or even as my sister, instead calling her an "it?" Why does he call her No. i?

Why are there so many questions that I can't answer? I'm supposed to be a genius, but I can't figure out what that old man is thinking. Maybe I need to do more research. Properly looking into those legends might help. I never paid them much attention before. Demyx said his sister had done some research in that area. Perhaps she can help. If she can't…

Even if it means going willingly into the lion's den when my time comes, I will get you out of that place. I promise, Xion.

…Especially since I now know exactly what kind of freaks you're dealing with.

* * *

Another night, another dream about a hallway, a room full of broken glass, and a computer. Zexion hated to admit it, but he was starting to miss his old dreams. When he'd wake up, they would slide away like water, and leave him with a vague, detached memory. This dream, though… sleeping or waking, he couldn't escape it. In his quiet moments, Zexion found himself wondering, what's the password?

Then he would give his face a good whack, and resume his day. Part of resuming his day meant planning his next move. The last three or four days of observing Demyx (if that's what you wanna call it...) had convinced Zexion that his identity was safe for the moment. Little did he know that what he had said to Demyx was what prevented him from getting an impartial read on Demyx's behavior. Demyx was floating above the clouds, riding a wave of bliss. The mere memory of what Zexion had confessed to Demyx was enough to calm Demyx's spirit so that he could act naturally.

Regardless, Zexion was convinced that he was safe, and so was planning his next attack. He wasn't sure what to do, though. What would send a strong message, without being too strong? He couldn't let Xion get hurt because he'd been reckless.

Xion… Zexion had avoided thinking of her for a long time. Demyx had brought her back into the forefront his mind with his initial sudden display of affection. The look on his face before and after had been so reminiscent of his sister when she would do something like that… Zexion had been overcome. True, that was probably the only similarity that Demyx and Xion shared, but it had been enough to trigger his memories. Zexion didn't like the idea that remembering his sister would make him faint. It was weak.

Anyway, a plan. Zexion didn't have one. It could be because he'd gone almost an entire week without being harassed in the middle of the night, but he was out of ideas. Not rage. No, he could fill all the worlds with his rage, and still have some to spare, but his inspiration was…

Zexion suddenly remembered the hallways, full of crumbling walls and broken lights. The study with shattered glass and writing on the wall. The painting of a man he didn't know. The vast room, full of devices that he'd never understand. The computer screen, begging for a password. He knew suddenly where all that was, without ever having set foot inside that exact area: the old castle. The destroyed part, he guessed. If he could get the password to that computer, what would he have control over?

That is, assuming that this computer even existed. Dreams were nothing to base a plan on, if experience had taught Zexion anything.

Nevertheless, Zexion spent that night sitting in his bed, wearing a headset, and staring at his computer screen. He had gotten into the castle's network. Where to go from there? He was waiting for the answer to call him up. It had to happen.

He wasn't disappointed. Zexion promptly answered the phone via his headset.

"It's been a while," he answered calmly, not hating the man on the other end for once.

"Even escaped. You knew that, though."

"I did," Zexion agreed. "Have you found him?"

"He disappeared. I suspect he has fled to another world, one outside of Radiant Garden."

Radiant Garden referred not to one world, but to the confederation of worlds that took Hollow Bastion as their capital. Some didn't, and Vexen would probably be safe in one of those worlds. "That is not why I called, however."

"Do tell."

"Have you been dreaming lately?" Zexion couldn't have asked for a better subject.

"I have. Not like before, though. I keep dreaming of this place that is likely in the destroyed part of the Old Castle, and a computer," Zexion related calmly.

"How odd. There is indeed a computer back there, but it hasn't been used since the last member of the Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee passed on. No one knows the password anymore."

Zexion felt himself break out in cold sweat. He was terrified and excited. He was flabbergasted at the implications of his recent dreams, but he didn't have time for that now. He typed furiously, until he reached a password entry screen. Somewhere inside him, he knew the password. He'd always known it. But the computer rejected it.

"I take it you've had people try to crack that password for a long time?" Zexion asked casually, flipping through a book on old Hollow Bastion legends.

"I have. That computer controls the town defense system, so no one can change it without the password. The story goes that when the keyblade hero was drawn inside the computer-" This was getting a little weird for Zexion, he had to say. "The password changed."

Zexion knew what the password was. It was right here in this book. The story of a sentimental computer program that changed the password to the names of his friends. What friends could a program possibly have?

"You're a fool," Zexion announced, entering the password. "I win." Zexion hung up, attaching his headset to his laptop. This was either going to be the easiest hacking job ever, or the hardest.

On the screen, Zexion saw something that he couldn't believe. He blinked. Again. It was still there. Unless he was going mad, Zexion faced an anthropomorphized computer program. Probably a security program, if he had to go through it after entering the password.

"A user," the program remarked (cheerfully? It sounded happy. Utterly impossible). "It's been a long time since I had a user."

"They all passed on, and didn't tell anyone the password," Zexion explained, feeling like an idiot for talking to a computer program.

"Then how did you get in?"

"It was an absurdly easy password, Tron." Zexion had consulted the book for the programs' name. "I'm surprised that no one figured it out before."

"You were always the smart one, Ienzo," Tron announced confidently.

"Why did you call me that?" Zexion felt that cold sweat coming back.

"Aren't you one of Ansem's apprentices? Or no, wait. If he's gone, they must be gone too."

Zexion had no time to ask this program what he meant by… well, most of what he'd said so far. He had a plan now, but he would have to ask Tron to carry it out.

"Tron, can I ask you to do something for me?" Asking a security program for permission… what kind of hacker was he?

"What do you need?"

Zexion proceeded to give an abbreviated explanation regarding who lived in the castle, what they had done to him, and so on, with the point of giving Tron the idea that the castle's main occupant was not a good person. The look on the program's face as he explained told him that he was succeeding.

"What I need you to do is reroute the defense system within and around the castle, such that it blocks entry or exit while still keeping the Heartless at bay," Zexion explained calmly.

"For how long?"

"A week," Zexion decided. "And please change the password when you're done."

"Understood. What should the new password be?"

Zexion consulted the book. His lips formed the ghost of a smile. "Make it "sea salt ice cream." "

"It was a pleasure being able to help you, Ienzo," Tron declared, before the connection between the two computers went dead. Zexion didn't even have time to correct him, and he didn't know if Tron had actually done it. Well, he'd know soon.

* * *

Axel had been allowed out of bed, only to be escorted in front of the living room's TV. Roxas allegedly had a bad feeling about today, so Axel, Roxas and Zexion had all woken up early to watch the news together, Axel and Roxas munching on sea salt ice cream (another unhealthy breakfast…). Mostly, the together part was to humor Axel, who was sick and tired of being in bed.

Roxas' bad feeling manifested in the first item of news. "Ienzo has struck again" the title of the story.

"Thousands have gathered outside of Hollow Bastion's old castle this morning in a show of support for our now trapped president, Ansem the Wise. Late last night, the section of the town defense system that guards the castle turned hostile, preventing aid or escape for those trapped within. In an address to those standing outside, the president said that the culprit is the hacker Ienzo, without any doubt. He would not say what made him so certain of this conclusion, and communication from within the castle ceased shortly afterward."

Tron had done it. Zexion felt more than a little pleased at his ability to convince a computer program to do his bidding without writing a single line of code. Then again, Tron was hardly a normal computer program.

Zexion felt his phone vibrate, and found a text message from Axel, with a question that he could hardly ask aloud with Roxas right there: "Did you do this?" Zexion turned to look at Axel, to gauge the redhead's mood. Axel's face was turned resolutely towards the television, so Zexion had no choice but to type out the three letter word that could finally be the breaking point of his friendship with Axel: "yes."

Roxas was saying something about officials being concerned that the rest of the defense system was affected, so once again, everything was closed, but Zexion's attention was on Axel. The redhead examined the message impassively, and then turned to face Zexion. The look he now wore wasn't angry, or even irritated. Axel just looked sad that Zexion was still doing shit like this. Not the breaking point, then.

"Axel!" Roxas's voice brought Axel and Zexion out of their moment.

"What?"

"You won't miss any class today," Roxas answered, just a little bit annoyed. "Another national emergency keeping everyone inside."

"They really think that an attack on the castle affects us at all?" Axel was annoyed too, even though this was a good thing for him. "Ienzo doesn't do things in waves. If it's obvious that he attacked the castle, then the castle is the only place affected."

"The president was attacked, Axel," Zexion offered smoothly. "Who knows what someone who would attack the president would do."

"You don't actually think that way, do you?" Axel seemed offended.

"Of course not. But that's what they're thinking. Better safe than sorry, I suppose."

* * *

Zexion passed the day peacefully, sitting on his bed and reading up on Hollow Bastion's legends. He was particularly interested by the fact that the names of the six apprentices were all in the book somewhere, but the name of the wise ruler wasn't. Did no one know what he was called? The story was commonly believed to be true. If so, why then could one man's name not be found anywhere?

And then there was the person that Tron had referred to. He claimed not to have seen a user in a very long time. If that were the case, why would he know the name Ansem? Furthermore, referring to him as one of Ansem's apprentices, and calling him Ienzo… Was the wise ruler in the story also named Ansem? If so, was it coincidence that they had the same name (and obviously the same title)? If it wasn't a coincidence, then neither was that frustrating tendency to call certain people by the names of the apprentices. Several important questions remained, however: why was he Ienzo, Vexen Even, and Xigbar Braig? What connected them to those people, and why was Ansem seeking them? Did the old man have some connection to the story? Was he off his rocker? Zexion believed that the answer to the last question was obvious.

A knock on the door interrupted his musings, and Demyx appeared in the doorway.

"Hey, Zexy," Demyx greeted him cheerfully.

"You know that classes are cancelled because it's not safe to go out," Zexion scolded, this being the second time that Demyx had willingly gone outside during a "national emergency." He closed his book, leaving one finger inside to mark the page.

"Being alone in my apartment felt more dangerous than going outside. Besides, the Claymores are too slow to be a real threat, even if they were going nuts. Which they're not, by the way," Demyx explained smugly, traipsing into the room and sitting down next to Zexion on the bed.

Zexion couldn't help but silently agree.

"So, what were you reading?" Demyx leaned over, trying to get a look at the title of the book on Zexion's lap.

"A book of Hollow Bastion legends," Zexion answered neutrally, opening the book again.

"The story of Organization XIII is a Hollow Bastion legend?" Demyx asked disbelievingly, noticing the chapter that Zexion was on. "My sis would chew this author out. Organization XIII didn't actually do all that much in this world."

"The majority of its members became Nobodies here," Zexion explained, turning the page idly. He froze when he got a good look at the pages in front of him.

The names of the members of Organization XIII had been lost over time, but their faces had not been so lucky, apparently. The pages before Zexion were covered in photographs of paintings of each of the founding six members before they had become Nobodies, the remaining seven after becoming Nobodies, though only the first two of those were on this page. The first question raised by this was how someone had managed to paint portraits of all of them. But that was sort of irrelevant to the main point: what the fuck?

"I now know," Zexion began, his hands shaking, "Why it always takes so long to go through security in the gummiport, and why Axel and my brother have similar trouble." He held out the book for Demyx to see.

Demyx's eyes widened as he took in the sight. "They stop you in security because you look a bit like VI, and Axel looks like VIII? They've been gone for hundreds of years! That's a bit paranoid."

"Not "a bit like,"" Zexion corrected, still shaking. "The resemblance is exact, though Ienzo looks a bit younger than myself. Axel even has the same tattoos as this man! Aeleus is the spitting image of my brother."

"Zexy," Demyx began in a soothing tone, "They say that nature reuses patterns, and that everyone has someone somewhere that looks exactly like them. Maybe Ienzo was yours, Aeleus was your brother's and this guy was Axel's."

Zexion turned the page, revealing the faces of IX, X, XI, XII and XIII. The pictures of IX and XIII drew their attention quickly. Demyx also noticed XII.

"That's… me," Demyx whispered, noticing IX and joining Zexion in the completely freaked out camp. "And Larxene. They always search us more carefully than our parents… And that's Larxene's best friend!" Demyx exclaimed, pointing at XI.

"This is Roxas… though the boy in this picture is several years younger than him," Zexion observed thoughtfully. "He's never complained about gummiport problems, though."

"Maybe it's because of the keyblade? Roxas is obviously a good person. They don't know that about us," Demyx murmured, not quite believing the words coming out of his mouth.

"You don't think it's a coincidence anymore?"

Demyx shook his head. "No, though I don't understand why looking like dead Nobodies would get us searched in the gummiport. Since when does looking like a dead guy get you on a terrorism watch list?"

Zexion actually had an idea about that, and it began and ended with a crazy old man, who had all the power in several important worlds. Not that he could say so to Demyx, but…

"Does this book have the story of the Nobody who sacrificed himself for another?" Demyx asked suddenly.

"Yes." Zexion remembered it well. "It said that VIII died defending XIII, who had become one with the keyblade hero. The story theorizes that this act bound VIII and XIII together, to return to each other for eternity."

Suddenly Zexion knew why Demyx had asked. His mind automatically turned to his two roommates, chatting peacefully in the living room. Were they the answer to all of those questions?

* * *

AN: T_T Yeah, not so AU anymore, huh? Don't kill me, please...


	11. Ansem the Wise and Hurricanes

AN: Niffstral loved this chapter, even though it bothers me. Thanks, Niff. A note about the rating of this story: when I started writing it, I had the beginning and ending firmly in mind, but the middle was a mystery to me. I didn't know how much swearing I was going to use, how violent it would be (original endings all involved character death, gunned down by Turks), or how much sexual content there would be. Will it ever earn the M rating? Ha ha, you'll see. Thanks to LiteraryMirage, terracannon876, Yumeoni, luckless-is-me, Imitation Black, NiffStral, Knut Case, Chubby-King-Chocobo, Schizo-of-Destiny, and Otaku-Michiyo for reviewing. I'm especially glad to hear that some of you catch on to my plot twists, while some of you are still floundering in the dark. :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. I swear.

Chapter 11: Ansem the Wise and Hurricanes

Until I was 13, I lived a fairly normal life. Admittedly, I was in high school, which is unusual. People called me a genius, which is, again, not normal. But, while I was the weird kid at school, my home-life was perfectly typical. We were a normal sized happy family, slightly blended because of my father's first marriage.

It was Ansem the Wise that ruined that. My older brother had just gone into the army when one of Ansem's representatives came to us. The message was clear: Ansem the Wise wants your younger son. Things will be easier for your older son if you hand him over. My parents weren't having that. They wanted me to live my own life, and they were confident that Lexaeus could handle himself.

Apparently, they had a plan in place, in the event that my parents were unwilling to hand me over. The plan went like this: kidnap the daughter and hold her hostage until everyone else fell into line. They did exactly that. My parents were left with a terrible choice, and I wouldn't allow them to make it. I agreed to go to Ansem after graduating college. Until I was within the confines of that wretched castle, they would keep Xion. As long as I behaved myself, she would be fine. She would be cared for and educated.

Part of the agreement was that, after graduating high school, I would not go back to my parents. They would not come to see me. There would be no communication between us. For my parents, Ansem the Wise had just stolen two children from them, and the third was under his control. They fell into despair, and I left them that way.

Ansem thought that my talents would be best put to use in Computer Science, so that is what I studied. I threw myself into it wholeheartedly, dedicating my sleepless nights to new programming languages. In my second year of college, I decided to show Ansem that I couldn't be controlled, and became Ienzo. It was at this time that he decided to harass me with late night phone calls. He must have been trying to tighten my leash. I've never hated a person more in my entire life, yet when I graduate, I'm doomed to spend the rest of my life in that castle. With him.

What did I do in a past life to deserve this?

* * *

Thinking about it rationally, Zexion knew he needed to put more thought into this Organization XIII business. His initial reaction had been to freak out, which was unlike him, to say the least. After taking some time to ponder, Zexion realized that he didn't know where to go from there. So they looked like dead Nobodies. What effect did that have on their lives? Did it mean something, or was it a coincidence?

He could believe that Axel and Roxas had some kind of karmic bond, especially after their initial meeting. But would that affect anyone else? No. A bond between soul mates (Zexion was tentatively calling them that, anyway) doesn't affect other people. It wouldn't drag other people along for the ride on the wheel of reincarnation. Probably. Zexion didn't know a whole heck of a lot about matters of "mysticism." He considered himself a practical person, and practical people didn't get hung up over reincarnation.

So, while Zexion knew why Ansem the Wise would have them all detained in gummiport security, he didn't really have any more answers. So, he calmed Demyx down (no easy feat once he was riled up), threw the book out the window (not really. He settled for throwing it across the room), and thought of it no more.

Well, until he brought Demyx into the kitchen for some food, and saw what had become of the invalids. Axel and Roxas had fallen asleep on the couch, and they were leaning on each other, which explained how they were still sitting up.

"That's so cute…" Demyx whispered rapturously, completely forgetting about food.

"I'm surprised they can still sleep," Zexion remarked, speaking at his normal volume. "All they've been doing for the past week and a half is sleep."

"That reminds me! Have you been sleeping any better lately, Zexy?" The concern mirrored in Demyx's eyes made Zexion guilty for continuing to keep late hours.

"I no longer dream the way I used to," Zexion allowed. "So my sleep hasn't been disturbed by them." He opened the refrigerator, moving things around in his quest for edibles.

Demyx wasn't fooled. "But you haven't been sleeping any more than before, have you?"

"Would you prefer the truth or a lie?"

Demyx stamped his foot childishly. "The truth, obviously!"

"Fine." Zexion never once turned to face Demyx. "I haven't changed my sleeping habits, and I don't believe that I will be changing them any time soon."

"But why?"

Zexion had three seconds to invent a plausible excuse. 3… 2… "Would you be able to sleep in the room next to them?" Zexion gestured in Axel and Roxas's general direction. If he had actually turned around to look, he would have noticed a very unconvinced Demyx. A very unconvinced (but not about to probe) Demyx, standing with his hands on his hips, and his lips pursed. But since Demyx had a secret too, he knew when to stop.

"I guess not," Demyx allowed, keeping his tone neutral.

* * *

"I don't believe I've ever had so many questions for you at once, Ienzo."

"For a man that I trapped inside his castle, you don't sound very angry," Zexion observed calmly, lying back on his bed. He'd been fortunate enough to have "radio silence" (as he called it) for the entire week of Ansem's castle imprisonment, and he'd enjoyed the peace.

"I am more interested in how you were able to discover the password to that old computer," Ansem remarked. Zexion was a bit disturbed by how good a mood the man seemed to be in.

"Read a history book. They don't come out and say it, but it surprises me that a man of your alleged intelligence couldn't discover such a simple password," Zexion taunted, smiling at the wall. "Not that it matters any more, though. I changed the password."

"To what?"

"Like I would tell you. That computer is a goldmine of information." Probably. He hadn't actually tried to get any information out of it.

"Ienzo…" Ansem's tone held a warning. Zexion couldn't bring himself to take it seriously.

"I don't have to tell you anything. And if you waste my sister's life over something like this, what would you use to keep me in line?" Actually, Zexion had a feeling that Ansem had a recently developed contingency plan. Very recently developed. As in, within the last month.

"I'd rather not have this discussion, Ienzo. You will give me the password eventually. In the meantime, I have another question."

"Shoot."

"What could you possibly hope to accomplish by sealing me in my castle for a week?' Ansem sounded amused at Zexion's feeble attempt to trouble him.

"A month would have been a more noteworthy length of time," Zexion agreed. "But it wasn't about actually doing harm. I prefer not to do harm to any innocents that you may have involved. As for the rest, well… a magician never reveals his secrets."

There was chuckling on the other end. Zexion wasn't sure what the appropriate reaction was to a man that tore your family apart finding you amusing. The standard reaction would be some form of anger, wouldn't it?

"Ienzo…" Ansem resumed, recovering from his laughter. "How much longer can you rebel in this fashion? You must be almost out of ideas."

Seriously. The idea for the last one came from a dream. What could he do after that? It would be so easy if he didn't have to watch how much of threat Ansem considered the attack. Then again, if that weren't a consideration, he probably wouldn't have had the need to become a hacker in the first place.

"Ienzo?"

Zexion's attention returned to the present. "I had no response. My plans are my business."

"Very well," Ansem allowed. "Tell me, did the kidnapping incident end with your music student knowing something that he shouldn't?"

"He claims not to recall anything from that day."

"You don't believe him." Ansem sounded surprised.

"He is the blunt type, and a very poor liar. Of course I believe him." Zexion did believe him. Mostly.

"You don't sound certain."

"I have a lot on my mind," Zexion admitted.

"Would you care to talk about it?" Zexion didn't like the concern in Ansem's voice. He couldn't help but remember what Vexen said: 'I suppose you must be his favorite.'

"I don't think you can help me. Matters of superstition are not worth consulting over."

"Superstition?"

"There is an old historical figure to whom I bear a strong resemblance. That's all." If you ignored all the other people in his life who also looked a lot like related historical figures, anyway.

Ansem fell silent. That was not the reaction that Zexion had been expecting. He waited such a long time for some kind of acknowledgment that he checked his phone to make sure that the call hadn't been disconnected or something.

"You have nothing to say to this?"

"As you said, matters of superstition are not worth consulting over," Ansem replied calmly, brushing the matter off.

Yeah, he was obviously hiding something.

"Is this conversation over?" Zexion inquired innocently.

"For the moment," Ansem agreed. "Shall I pass on a message to your sister?"

"The usual." The line went dead, and Zexion dropped the phone carelessly.

He checked the clock by his bed. 2:00 A.M. Not too late, then. Upon hearing Axel and Roxas "start up" in the next room (why so late, Zexion wondered? Well, since they had both been deemed healthy enough, time hadn't seemed to matter to them), Zexion rolled out of bed, jammed his feet into his shoes, and took off into the night.

* * *

Demyx dreamed of blue eyes. Angry blue eyes, full of hate, an emotion that seemed wrong for those eyes. The eyes were always close to him, and he knew that if they got too far away, it would be over. If the eyes stepped back, it would be because Demyx couldn't fight anymore. But Demyx wasn't a fighter. He never was. He was just a musician, dammit! Always just a musician…

His hand was strangely light… Hadn't he been holding something? He remembered holding something… Now his whole body was light, like it was fading away… No! No, no, no! He couldn't die here… not like this… not killed by _him_.

Demyx woke up when the water consumed him. He took in deep, gasping breaths, trying to calm down and let the terror leave him. It had been 12 years since he'd had that dream, the one with blue eyes and death, only now those crystal blue eyes were familiar. From where, though?

Knock-knock, went the door. Demyx considered ignoring it; he was in no state to talk to someone right now. He knew that he wouldn't be getting back to sleep though, so he rolled out of bed, his legs shaking slightly as he walked, and went to answer the door. On the other side, Demyx was met with a blue eye. It was different from the one in his dream, though. It was a darker, deeper blue, and the shape was different. And he could only see the one. That was important somehow.

"Z-Zexion?" Demyx choked out, speaking with some difficulty. "Wha-… What are you doing here?"

"I couldn't sleep," Zexion offered calmly, though Demyx's shaky speech and posture were beginning to worry him. "I hope I'm not disturbing you."

Demyx let out a laugh that was more like a choked sob, and dragged Zexion inside. Once Zexion was fully inside, and the door was closed, Demyx collapsed into Zexion's arms, leaving the shorter man to keep him from crashing onto the ground. "I'm glad you came," he murmured into Zexion's hair.

"Are you feeling all right, Demyx?" Zexion's concern meter was rising quickly.

"I feel a lot better with you here," Demyx admitted, allowing himself to be led to the couch, and pulled into a sitting position.

"Did something happen?"

"I just… had a bad dream. One that I had when I was a kid. It was a pretty intense dream, so it's a bit hard to function right now," Demyx murmured, clinging to Zexion tightly. "Do you mind if we just stay like this for a while?"

"I don't mind at all," Zexion answered quietly. "I am imposing on you, so if I can help you in any way…"

"Thank you…"

After sitting like that on the couch for hours, Demyx managed to fall into dreamless sleep when the first rays of the sun peeked into his apartment window. Zexion fell asleep soon after, ignoring the implications of sunrise.

* * *

"I dreamt about dying," Demyx explained over a cup of coffee (black. Very black). "There was water, darkness, and crystal blue eyes."

"Which of those was responsible for your death?" Zexion asked, feeling concern well up again.

"I think it was the eyes. The water and the darkness came after I was beyond saving. I think they both came from me, if that makes any sense," Demyx murmured, taking a healthy swig of his coffee.

"And you've had this dream before?"

"Uh-huh. When I was 9." Demyx laughed lightly. "Why am I even telling you about it, anyway? It's not like there's anything you can do about a dream, especially when they're a problem for you, too."

"I won't pretend that I can help you in any material way," Zexion agreed. "But there are those who believe that talking about a bad dream can help prevent its return. There is no harm in trying." Especially since they'd slept the whole day away.

Demyx ran his hands through his hair in agitation, and poured the rest of his coffee down the drain. Even after such a peaceful sleep, he just couldn't calm down. He could still see those eyes boring into him, wishing him a speedy end. He could feel his life force flowing away, like water in a stream. It was like his nerve endings were all on high alert, and had become hypersensitive. He would jump if anything touched him without warning, even a breeze. Demyx really… really didn't want to die.

"Zexy, didn't you tell me before that you once dreamt of dying?" Demyx's voice held a hint of desperation, though Zexion knew not what he was desperate for.

"Yes, when I was six."

"Would you mind… telling me about it?" Demyx was begging, though his tone was reasonably normal. His eyes however were not.

"I suppose that would be all right. I still remember it fairly well." Zexion cleared his throat, and his visible eye took on a faraway cast. "It was dark, and I was weak. Weaker than I've ever felt before. I saw malevolent malachite eyes, and enraged sea green ones. I remember thinking that there was something odd about the owner of the sea green eyes, like he was something that shouldn't exist in this world. He grabbed me… and I felt my life flowing away from me. The last thing I saw were the malevolent malachite eyes, before I fell into darkness."

Demyx thought that that was a terrible dream for a six year old to have. He could also see why Zexion spoke of it so calmly: there was a clear flow with this dream, unlike what he had described before.

"Now that I think on it," Zexion continued, "those eyes are familiar somehow."

"I got that feeling too!" Demyx announced excitedly. "I didn't when I had the dream the first time, but now I feel like I've seen those blue eyes somewhere before."

Zexion opened his phone and began sifting through the miniscule amount of pictures on it, to see if anything triggered his memory. He stopped on a picture of Axel holding Roxas in a headlock. His eyes traveled upward, from Roxas's slightly irritated face to Axel's laughing face, until his eyes met Axel's. Deep blue met malachite. He snapped the phone shut suddenly, jamming the device back in his pocket.

"Zexy?" Demyx was staring at him. "Are you okay?"

"Fine. I just remembered that I didn't leave a note, nor have I called. From the perspectives of my roommates, I vanished overnight." His phone had alerted him to his several missed calls, and he likely had several frantic text messages as well. Well, when he left, he hadn't expected to sleep the day away.

What _had_ he expected?

"You should probably call then," Demyx remarked, nodding. "Especially since you don't know when you'll be back."

What exactly did Demyx mean by that? Zexion probed Demyx's sea green eyes for the answer, and saw a tumult of emotions. Demyx was confused. It was probably connected to that goddamn book of legends. Zexion cursed ever getting that thing.

"Zexy, do you love me?" Demyx asked suddenly.

"Of course," Zexion replied calmly. He'd passed that point somewhere between salmon cakes and those desperate eyes.

The sea green eyes were closer, and continued to approach. Zexion found himself moving closer to them as well. Demyx brushed Zexion's long bangs aside. Their lips met.

Neither was certain when their kissing turned heated, only that it had. Neither was certain when their lips had separated, seeking more tender flesh, nor could they say when their shirts disappeared, or where they had gone. How they ended up on Demyx's bed, they knew not. They couldn't speak to when their last articles of clothing disappeared; they only knew that they were naked. Demyx marked the time when Zexion entered him (to engrave it in his memory), but he wasn't certain when Zexion had stopped thrusting into him. His mind was a whirl of hot flesh, breathy moans (his), and two blue eyes gazing down at him, their view utterly unobstructed.

Sleep came quickly to both. Neither dreamed.

* * *

AN: It's nice to know that some of you actually read this note down here... BTW, Demyx's chapter is still the longest... weird, huh?


	12. Bangs and Snow

AN: To those of you who are unfamiliar with my update schedule, I update every three days. I can't go faster. My calculus and Physics grades depend on that. Thank you for your understanding. Now, this chapter jumps around a lot, and time passes really fast. Blink and you'll miss it. Thanks to terracannon876, Schizo-of-Destiny, -JansenFriedh827-, luckless-is-me, Yumeoni, NiffStral, LiteraryMirage, Knut Case, otaku-michiyo and Chibi StarLyte for reviewing. Thanks again Niff for betaing.

Oh, also, this chapter is paopuliscious. And by that I mean fluffy. But I think, within the KH fandom, Paopu should be used to mean fluff, 'cause it needs a fruit name, and the Paopu is perfect for that.

Disclaimer: You know by now, right? I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Chapter 12: Bangs and Snow

My mother told me once when I was little that when you love someone, you show them a side of yourself that you don't show anyone else. I was quite young then, and my interpretation of what she said was quite foolish. What side of yourself? It didn't occur to me that she was talking about a change in personality, or letting your walls down around someone. Children are open creatures, so building emotional walls around yourself wouldn't make sense to them. The world is fundamentally good, so why would you have to protect yourself?

Anyway, in my lack of understanding, I grew my bangs out until they covered half of my face. I wouldn't let my mother touch them. Obviously, after dealing with my stubbornness for a while, she asked me why I wouldn't let anyone cut my bangs. I foolishly told her that the side of my face that they covered was the side of myself that I was saving for the one that I would love someday.

She didn't laugh, nor did she try to cut my bangs again. She didn't tell me that I had misinterpreted what she'd said. She said that she was very impressed by my attitude, and by how seriously I had taken what she'd said.

"Zexion," she'd said, "I can't wait to meet the person you fall in love with. The two of you haven't even met yet, and you care this much about them! So sweet…" She'd smiled and ruffled my hair.

"Of course I care about them," I muttered. "I'm going to love them someday."

Even now, there's something about that statement that makes sense, and it's not like I can cut my bangs after making a statement like that. I hope you can meet him too, mom.

* * *

Zexion awoke in warm darkness. It took his brain a few seconds to catch up with his surroundings and understand why he was naked with someone else's naked flesh against him. Zexion fumbled for his phone, finding it on the ground, halfway between the bed and wherever his pants had been thrown. Without reading the text messages from Axel and Roxas, Zexion sent them a message saying "With Demyx. No calls." Knowing Axel, he would draw a conclusion that would grant Zexion peace, at least for the moment. When he got home… that's when the interrogation would begin.

Demyx stirred slightly beside him, noticing Zexion's change in position and not liking it. Giving in, Zexion lowered himself onto his back, and allowed Demyx to cling to him once more. A security blanket, Roxas had called him. Well, it certainly seemed that way sometimes, even though he was younger and shorter than the one seeking security.

Zexion glanced out the nearest window. It was pouring outside. In mid-December. If he'd been caught outside in that… The cold would have been unbearable.

The rain couldn't hold his attention for long. Outside was cold and wet, but inside was so warm and dry. Zexion couldn't pay much attention to matters beyond his immediate vicinity. The naked body clinging to him for warmth, for instance. It was very hard not to think about the sleeping blond, especially when Zexion remembered that he had done what Xigbar had suggested. He would not die a virgin. Some small part of his mind was comforted by this thought. A small part of his mind that he very much wished he could suppress.

Demyx stirred again, his eyes opening sluggishly.

"Did you sleep well?" Zexion asked quietly.

"Yeah," Demyx replied with a sleepy smile. "That's twice that I haven't dreamt since having that nasty dream. Maybe you're like a dream catcher."

"I did not dream either," Zexion murmured, smiling too. "So I do not believe I am intercepting your nightmares."

"Maybe you scare the bad dreams away," Demyx murmured, burying his face into Zexion's chest.

"Perhaps I do."

They remained that way for a while, Demyx clinging tightly to Zexion, while Zexion held Demyx gently. Neither one fell back asleep, nor did they try to get up. Classes? Work? Eating? Bathing? They ignored the existence of all of them. All that existed in those moments was the two of them, and the rain.

"Zexy?" Demyx murmured after a while.

"Hmm?"

"What time is it?" They'd already slept from dawn that morning until about five in the evening…

"It's midnight," Zexion replied evenly after checking Demyx's alarm clock. "Tomorrow is Saturday. Or today, rather."

"Do you have anything really important that you need to do this weekend?" Zexion knew what Demyx was really asking. He knew, but he wouldn't say so. If it was Demyx, he could beat around the bush as much as he liked. Especially since Demyx usually preferred not to.

"Not particularly."

"Then…" Demyx hesitated. "Would you mind staying with me for the rest of the weekend?"

* * *

"Never thought I'd see you making the walk of shame, Zex," Axel observed cheerfully, leaning against the door frame of Zexion's room.

"No comments. I just came back to get my laptop and a change of clothes."

"Um, come again?" Axel's eyes were wide. Well, as wide as his eyes could go.

"I believe even you can figure out what I meant," Zexion shot back, stuffing some clothes into his backpack, along with his laptop.

"Does that mean… you're not coming back this weekend?" Axel's brain was already clicking through the various possibilities that the idea presented.

"That is correct. Please wipe down any surfaces that you choose to soil." He gave Axel a meaningful look, so that there would be no misunderstandings.

Axel nodded. "Anything else?"

"Yes. Please don't tell me which surfaces you soil. As long as you clean them, I don't need to know." He directed another meaningful look at Axel, though he couldn't hold the gaze of those green eyes for long. They triggered… unpleasant thoughts.

"Got it," Axel agreed. His eyes traveled the length of the room idly, until they fell on the discarded legend book. He crossed the room and picked it up before Zexion registered what was going on. "Why is there a picture of my ex-boyfriend in here?"

"Really, Axel? That's the first picture you noticed?" Zexion was amused. Axel hadn't noticed himself first. Now that was odd.

"It was a bad breakup," Axel muttered, noticing the other pictures on the page. "Zex, what is this book?"

"Old Hollow Bastion legends. You're looking at the faces of Organization XIII."

"So that's why gummiport security is such a hassle…" Axel murmured, staring down at his own smirking visage.

"Yes, because gummiport security officers are trained to detain people who look like long dead villains," Zexion joked. "I doubt it's connected." Actually, he knew it was connected, something Axel didn't need to know.

"Uh-huh…" Axel replied idly, already enthralled. Logic didn't always do the job, once Axel had an idea in his head.

"You can hold on to that," Zexion offered. "I've gotten all I can out of it."

"Thanks…" Axel took the book back to his room, walking like he was in a daze. Worrying. But not worrying enough to make Zexion stay. His departure was swift, and without a backward glance. It seemed like Zexion was doing that a lot lately.

* * *

Demyx had gone back to his previous state of nervousness without Zexion around. Zexion was safety, Zexion was comfort… After seeing Zexion's gentleness in dealing with him while Demyx was in a fragile mental state, he had grown increasingly dependent on him. It was now laughably easy to keep the matter of Ienzo quiet. Demyx wasn't confident that he would be able to function properly without Zexion at this point. It had been a bizarre and stressful few weeks. Anything that might take Zexion away was quickly banished to the back of Demyx's mind.

When Zexion returned from his brief outing, Demyx waited only for him to set down his backpack before attaching himself to the shorter man. His fear was quickly siphoned off by Zexion's confident half-smile. Yes, everything would be all right.

"Did you get chewed out by Axel?" Demyx asked cheerfully.

"No," Zexion replied calmly. "He may have been worried before, but once he understood the situation, he was back to making jokes at my expense."

"Sounds like Axel," Demyx agreed, reluctantly detaching himself from Zexion and sitting down gingerly on the couch. There was something odd about the way he was sitting…

"It does, doesn't it? I was lucky, though. If this had happened just a week or two earlier, I don't think he would have stopped when I told him to," Zexion observed thoughtfully, joining Demyx on the couch.

"Oh!" Demyx realized what Zexion was alluding to. "Because of his injuries?"

"An abstinent and bored Axel is a troublemaking Axel. He used to set fires around the city before he met Roxas."

"He was an arsonist?" Demyx's eyes were wide.

"Not strictly. He mostly burned garbage, and other things that people wouldn't really care about. He just needed to do something with his pent up energy," Zexion explained carelessly. "You should have seen him trying to set Heartless on fire with only his lighter."

"Does that work?"

"Not very well. Somewhere along the way, he perfected a Heartless trap, involving a pool of something flammable and a match. Mastering the formula of the flammable liquid took him quite some time. He couldn't damage the surrounding buildings, but it had to do enough damage to kill the Heartless instantly," Zexion explained, smiling slightly. Those were fond memories. No Heartless had come anywhere near their apartment since. Who said you couldn't teach them?

Demyx laughed. Zexion liked Demyx's laugh. It was cheerful and bubbly, like a small stream flowing over rocks.

"Are there more Heartless here than other places? I thought the defense system usually got all of them…" Demyx held his chin in his hand thoughtfully.

"On a scale of harmless to property damage, I'd say the amount of Heartless here is pretty close to property damage," Zexion remarked, borrowing the scale of measurement from Axel. "The defense system can't get all of them, especially at night. I assume the Destiny Islands have less?"

"Yeah. There's barely any, unless you're going into caves at night, or something. Some people say it's because a wielder of the sacred weapons lives there, but I've never seen them," Demyx explained, sounded a bit disappointed.

That was an interesting fact to pick up. Roxas wasn't the only one.

"The Destiny Islands are also less densely populated," Zexion suggested gently, trying to lead Demyx way from dangerous thoughts. "They might not need someone who can kill Heartless in order to suppress the Heartless population."

"I guess so…"

* * *

Demyx was asleep in the middle of the night (something that only Zexion's presence could cause, lately), but Zexion couldn't kill his habit of sleeping as little as possible just yet. He was sitting up in bed, his laptop balanced on his legs as he explored the data space of the old castle computer (remotely, of course). If Demyx woke up and saw what he was doing, there would be no harm. He was just searching random terms. It could be a normal search engine, for all that Demyx would know.

It was not quite a normal search engine, though. Zexion was more than a little irked by all the corrupt data. It seemed as if someone had destroyed all of the interesting information. How troublesome.

Admittedly, he _had_ found something interesting about Organization XIII. There hadn't been much, as most of the data was corrupt, but there had been five short files about the members of Organization XIII that had been killed in a castle located in the World Between Worlds. His own picture was among them. Staring at a picture of yourself, when the information underneath it relates to being "eliminated" is more than a little disconcerting. Moreover, seeing your brother's picture and the picture of an incarcerated high school science teacher in the same context doesn't help the bad feelings go away. He also recognized a woman that Demyx had identified as his sister, and a man that Demyx had said was his sister's best friend. That covered all five of the pictures.

Yes, realizing that he knew all of these dead people, either directly or indirectly, was really bothering Zexion. But, were they really those dead people, or were the physical similarities merely a coincidence?

"There's no such thing as coincidences," Zexion murmured irritably.

He shouldn't have said that aloud, as the sound caused Demyx to waken.

"What're you doing, Zexy?" Demyx murmured sleepily, noticing that Zexion was sitting up, and doing something on his laptop.

"The same thing I do every night, Demyx," Zexion replied with a tone of mock seriousness, about to attempt passing his activities off as a joke. "Try to take over the world."

Demyx chuckled weakly, quickly falling back asleep. Hopefully he'd forget about it in the morning. Hopefully.

When Zexion was certain that Demyx had returned to dreamland, he resumed his search. On a whim, he typed in "Ansem the Wise." Unexpectedly, that data had not been corrupted. It also confirmed something that he really preferred not to think about.

The information on Ansem the Wise was minimal. There was nothing after the destruction of the town, which was actually blamed on him in this file. But this computer was also registered as Ansem the Wise's personal computer. Someone must have come back to it after the town had been overrun with Heartless, and changed the file. Who would have done that? Who could have? Was it the same person who'd destroyed all the useful information?

* * *

Zexion hated the middle of December. More specifically, he hated the winter solstice, and the celebration of the New Year that came after. It's not that he hated holidays. He just hated those holidays. Why would one choose to go out of doors to celebrate the passing of autumn into winter? Utter foolishness. Winter was cold. There was nothing worth celebrating about that (a point on which he and Axel agreed heartily). As for the New Year… what folly. It was just the passing of another day. Why wait until then to make a change that you could make today?

Zexion hated the winter holidays. He was accustomed to being allowed to spend them however he pleased (reading), but no, this year was different. Demyx wanted to celebrate the winter solstice, and it happened to fall on that very Sunday. Demyx wouldn't want to go and celebrate alone, especially since Zexion was staying with him, Zexion assumed.

Demyx's idea of celebrating the solstice was a common one among Islanders: sit on the roof of a building and watch the sunset, because the fact that it was the shortest day of the year somehow made the sunset special. It was common among Islanders because they didn't have to brave freezing temperatures and snow in order to celebrate. Doing something like that during a Hollow Bastion winter (admittedly, the first day of winter) offended all of Zexion's sensibilities.

His sensibilities would just have to be offended.

Sunday evening found Zexion and Demyx standing on the roof of Demyx's apartment building, bundled up against the cold and staring in the suns' general direction. Oh, the obscenities running through Zexion's mind at that moment… There were few things that he hated more than the cold, and there were so many alternative ways to spend the longest night of the year…

"Isn't the setting sun romantic, Zexy?" Demyx observed wistfully, his breath coming out in visible puffs.

Zexion bit back the scathing comments that flew to his tongue after such a comment. "I believe that sunrise would be more so, since it signifies the beginning, and not the end, as sunset does," he murmured indifferently, his self-control winning this battle.

"I guess you're right," Demyx agreed quietly, having half expected this answer. "Y'know, you didn't have to come with me if you didn't want to."

Yeah, right. Zexion knew better than that.

"Wouldn't you be lonely sitting on the roof alone in the cold?"

"Of course," Demyx murmured. "But you obviously hate being up here, so…"

"It's cold. Below freezing. I hate the cold more than I hate a lot of other things. But if I didn't come with you, I would worry about you freezing to death up here alone," Zexion explained. "You're just enough of an idiot to forget that you're cold once you see the view. Cold bothers the human body for a reason: as a warning to get out of the cold."

Demyx was actually guilty of forgetting that he was cold at that very moment, so he moved closer to Zexion, leaning on the shorter man for warmth. "Thanks for ignoring how much you hate the cold to make sure that I don't freeze to death." Demyx's shivery smile was a much nicer sight to Zexion than the wintry sunset.

* * *

When Monday came, Zexion returned home. The smell of cleanser assaulted his nostrils the moment he entered, which is never a good sign. It meant that many surfaces had been soiled. Axel kept to their agreement however, and did not tell Zexion _which_ surfaces.

New Year's eve came far too soon for Zexion's taste. He was glad to spend the holiday indoors, watching the various specials from the comfort of Demyx's bed, but the coming of the new year meant that his time was quickly running out. He discovered a voice mail message on his phone the next day, saying only: "Four and a half months left."

Four and a half months until graduation. Four and a half months left with Axel, Roxas and Demyx. Four and a half months until he would never celebrate the solstice outdoors again. Four and a half months until Ienzo the hacker died, along with the name Zexion.

Time began to flow swiftly.

* * *

AN: You're gonna hate me for that last line...


	13. Paopu Fruits and Whirlpools

AN: A chapter of paopu mixed with plot. The next chapter is going to be a plot explosion, 'cause we're approaching the climax. I know you guys don't want to hear that, but it's true. Thanks to LiteraryMirage, Danni-la, terracannon876, Zenxara, luckless-is-me, Festival of Asylum, otaku-michiyo, Yumeoni, Sadist Schemer, Schizo-of-destiny, and Knut Case for reviewing. Thanks to Niffstral for Betaing.

Disclaimer: As always, no matter how much I rock at mission mode, I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Chapter 13: Paopu fruits and Whirlpools

Partway through the month of February, there is holiday that any self-respecting individual fears or looks upon with scorn: the Paopu Festival. The worlds that are part of Radiant Garden adopted this festival from the Destiny Islands, a festival that brings great prosperity to those who rely of Paopu fruits for their livelihood. The week before the festival, Paopu prices have been known to shoot through the roof. There is a saying among Paopu growers that this festival provides the vast majority of their income.

During this festival, friends, lovers, and those who fear an eternal parting of some kind, obtain a Paopu (at a ridiculously inflated price) and offer to share it with the person that they fear to lose. To most, it is a festival of love. To some, however, memories of previous Paopu festivals have made them wary of the star-shaped fruits. Axel can speak to the ills of sharing a Paopu prematurely. Now he can't quite shake off a person for whom he feels only animosity.

One must, therefore, be very careful when making the decision to celebrate the festival or not. Extremely careful. To have the thread of your fate wound together with another's is a dangerous thing. You may want your fates to intersect now, but in five years? Ten? Fifty? And perhaps the power of the Paopu is not hindered by death. Perhaps it dooms you to meet that person again in your next life as well.

Should such a dangerous fruit be available commercially? Perhaps a system needs to be developed, to judge the suitability of a party seeking to unite their fate with that of another. But then again, who could properly judge? Who can truly say whether these two will hate each other tomorrow, or that they will never say a harsh word against the other? There is no way to fairly regulate it.

…And regulations would break the Paopu growers' backs. Mustn't forget that.

* * *

"-And that's why if I see another one of those goddamn yellow fruits ever again, it'll be too fucking soon," Axel finished vehemently. He followed that up with a sneeze. "I fucking hate February," he muttered.

February: the month where hot cocoa just doesn't quite do the job anymore. Winter needs to go away, but there's still another month of it! This fine (barely below zero) morning found Axel, Roxas, Zexion and Demyx enjoying hot beverages on a bench outside the music school. Why not inside? One spill on those marble floors, and your guilt reached suicidal proportions.

"Must you tell this story every year?" Zexion asked, slightly exasperated. "You always end with some kind of curse against the month, too."

"Hey, hey. This is the first time Demyx has heard it, and only the second time that Roxas has," Axel pointed out, offended.

"Yes, but after the second time, I started to wish that Saïx would appear." Zexion was joking. Obviously. Zexion waited a moment for his words to register properly in Axel's brain. "And before you explode in mock outrage, I was joking."

"Don't even joke like that," Axel muttered. "I can't even look at star-fruit without getting the shivers."

Roxas ignored Axel's distress to ask Demyx a question. Rejected. "The Paopu festival came from the Destiny Islands, right? Is it even bigger there than it is here?"

"Smaller, actually. All the Paopu sellers go off-world for it, so most Islanders don't celebrate it anymore," Demyx related mournfully.

Zexion was slightly troubled by Demyx's tone. Wasn't it better that the Islanders weren't ending up like Axel? What would the Paopu sellers do if the Islanders had all sorts of Paopu horror stories?

"That's smart of them," Axel muttered poisonously.

"Axel, not everyone has bad luck combined with poor judgment as you do," Zexion scolded from behind his coffee cup. "They may be happier after sharing a Paopu with someone, knowing that no parting will be forever. "

"And then there's the Axels of the world, who just can't get rid of someone," Roxas muttered with a grin. "Speaking of the person you can't get rid of, have you seen him lately?" That question had a right answer and a wrong answer. But delivery of the right answer was important too. An obvious lie, and Axel would probably end up in shin splints. Axel knew that.

"I haven't…" Axel replied, scratching the back of his head.

"Axel…" I sighed despairingly.

"What?" Oh, he thought he was in the clear. Idiot.

"Try not to scratch your head when you lie."

Axel's blood may have actually felt cold when he realized what he'd done.

A swift kick to the shins and a spilled travel mug of coffee later found Axel kneeling on the ground cursing the Paopu fruit, and Roxas storming off angrily.

Yes, Axel hated the Paopu festival and all it stood for. That fact would probably never change. Especially if he kept getting kicked in the shins by a cosmic force that he really couldn't control.

* * *

"Ienzo, are you really going to have no regrets when the time comes?" Yup, you guessed it. A harassing call from Ansem. Zexion wasn't alone this time, either. It's hard to carry on a phone conversation when your happiness depends on the person next to you hearing absolutely nothing.

"Why do you care?" Zexion knew he would have regrets. He could picture their faces when they found out what had happened to him: Demyx's teary disbelief, Roxas's absolute shock, and Axel's normal lively face, rendered utterly expressionless. Yes, Zexion would have regrets, but there was no avoiding them now.

"Ienzo, I do not want you to wallow in your new environment," Ansem scolded gently. Zexion hated him for it. "Everyone will be better off if you are at least determined, if not cheerful."

"Cheerful is not a relevant adjective to use when describing me," Zexion muttered. "But you may count on my determination."

"I'm glad to hear it. But you have not answered my original question. Will you have no regrets?"

"Of course I'll have regrets. There isn't a human alive today who has no regrets." Except maybe Demyx, given how everything had worked out for him. "But they are manageable."

"Good. Now, I have another question for you. Two, actually. First, why are you shaking off the people that are tailing you? Many have lost their jobs because of your desire to keep somewhere secret." Ansem made it sound like it hadn't been his decision to fire people for losing track of Zexion. Oh, the hate bubbling in Zexion's veins…

"I believe that I still have the right to privacy, though that too will soon be forfeit. As long as I have that right, I shall protect it." Zexion glanced down at Demyx, who continued to sleep soundly. True, Ansem knew where Demyx lived, but as long as Ansem didn't know that he was going there, they were safe.

"I suppose I understand your reasoning, but you will continue to be tailed." Ansem sounded put out.

"That is fair, by your standards," Zexion muttered venomously.

Ansem ignored the displeasure in Zexion's tone and continued. "As for the second question, have you truly ceased hacking? Two months without an attack must be a record for you."

The truth of the matter was that Zexion had spent the last two months attempting to recover the corrupted data on the old computer. He suspected that there were back-ups of the files hidden somewhere, and that they were probably undamaged. If only he could get ahold of them…

"I have decided against continuing my malicious attacks," Zexion explained softly. "There is only so much that I can do within my bounds, and I do not wish to cause harm to civilians." Ienzo the hacker wasn't dead. He was merely recalculating his route.

"I am glad to see you coming to your senses." The triumph in his voice was almost enough to make Zexion start dry heaving. "You always were so much brighter than the others."

…'Always?'

"Ansem," Zexion began, suddenly finding breathing to be difficult, "What do you mean by that?"

The sharp intake of breath on the other end told Zexion that Ansem had slipped up, and said something that he wasn't supposed to.

"It's nothing that concerns you," was the answer that Ansem gave when he recovered his composure. Wrong answer.

"How does it not concern me?" Zexion was struggling to keep his cool. If he got mad, there was no way that Ansem would tell him.

"It does not concern you at the moment," Ansem amended. "There will be no secrets when you join us."

Oh, that was troubling.

"Why must I wait for answers?"

"I'm afraid I can't answer that." Ansem's word on the subject was clearly final. Asshat.

"I suppose I understand. When I'm completely under your control, whether I believe in what you say or not, I will have to accept it," Zexion spat, attempting to provoke a response.

"Ienzo, I will not change my mind, nor will I indulge your curiosity. Sometimes, you must be content with the answer that you are given."

* * *

Zexion could never be content with not knowing. He redoubled his efforts. Those files would be his, or he would die trying.

…At this point, "die trying" seemed more likely. The more time passed, the harder it seemed to be to find a quiet, private moment to work on recovering those files. It seemed like there was always someone around. Between Axel, Roxas and Demyx (though Roxas was definitely the least obtrusive of the three, and Zexion rewarded him by keeping the freezer well stocked with ice cream), Zexion spent many nights just giving up and going to sleep.

Never mind that what he was currently trying to do wasn't illegal. Well, not strictly. Regardless, it was a step up, and yet he was thwarted at every turn.

And then came the Paopu Festival.

Zexion dreaded going outside that day. The streets would be full of the sticky sort of person who believes that no parting should be eternal. If it wasn't meant to be, it wasn't meant to be. Zexion wished dearly that someone could teach these fools that lesson.

Yet, there was a part of him that wished that no parting would be eternal as well. Try as he might to suppress it, that feeling only grew stronger with each passing day, and the knowledge that in a few short months (three, now) he would be separated quite permanently from everyone that he'd ever cared about didn't help to make the feeling go away. If he ever saw any of them, it would not be a good thing for that person.

Zexion's feelings regarding the Paopu fruit were therefore mixed.

His feelings were not made clearer when he found one hidden in Demyx's fridge. That could only really mean one thing.

Zexion decided to feign ignorance: a tactic that would only work on Demyx. "Demyx, what's this?" He held out the fruit to the channel-surfing blond.

Demyx colored when he saw what Zexion was holding. "Oh, uh, that's a Paopu. Haven't you seen one before?"

"I haven't," Zexion lied.

"Oh, well, I sort of forgot that today was the festival, so I went for a walk through the area where they sell them, and one of the sellers recognized me, and made me take it, with his congratulations," Demyx explained, scratching the back of his head.

How odd that Demyx and Axel had the same 'tell.'

"You don't have to lie," Zexion murmured.

Demyx blushed. Did he really think that he was convincing liar? "S-sorry," he stammered, making no attempt to deny it.

"Why don't you tell me the truth, and we'll forget that you lied in the first place?"

Demyx nodded. "I was afraid," he admitted. "When you graduate, you'll have to go where you can find work, and I'll have to stay here."

If only he knew.

"I'm being stupid," Demyx muttered. "I must really seem like a clingy idiot. We haven't been together that long, and even after Axel's story about the dangers of sharing one, I went and got a Paopu."

"Demyx, you're not-"

"I am!" Demyx's eyes had gone wild. "I love you. I love you so much, and I'm so afraid of losing you that I'm probably going to drive you away. Zexion you're amazing. Incredible. You can do anything you want to do, and all I can do is play guitar."

Zexion didn't know what possessed him at that moment. Perhaps it was the force of Demyx's words that compelled him to act, since Zexion knew that his future was not so bright as Demyx described it. His head moved on it's own, until he had torn off a corner of the Paopu with his teeth, and was chewing it calmly. It tasted like no fruit that Zexion had ever had. A cross between ash, darkness (or perhaps that was the smell), sea salt, and a number of other flavors that he couldn't identify. It was like he tasted all the painful partings in all the worlds. He didn't recommend it.

Demyx stared at Zexion in disbelief. "Zexion, why…?"

"Because I have a heart, and I'm powerless to control it," Zexion replied calmly. "If you don't eat some of this wretched fruit, I'll have tasted death for nothing, by the way."

"It tastes bad?" Demyx couldn't quite believe it. Then again, no one eats it for the flavor. It would be sort of a waste.

"Like nothing you've ever tasted."

Demyx bit into the fruit. After swallowing the first bite, he stuck out his tongue in displeasure. "Eww… Do we have to eat all of it?"

"Probably not, but what if someone else found it and finished it?"

Demyx and Zexion were more than able to finish the Paopu after pondering the possibilities that came from not finishing it.

* * *

Tron had found it. When Zexion woke up in the middle of the night, he knew that Tron had found the back-up drive. With little else to do, the security program had enthusiastically thrown himself into the task, so of course there would be results.

Whether any of the information would actually be useful remained to be seen, though. It could all be garbage, or have all the useful stuff edited out of it by the same person who corrupted the files in the first place. Although, if they had gone to the trouble of destroying them, they probably wouldn't have edited the back-ups. They probably hadn't known that there _were_ back-ups. Zexion's genius pride swelled.

Zexion clamped down on his pride, and balanced his laptop on his legs. He hadn't won until he knew whether the information was useful or not. So, Zexion hooked up his headset and began the somewhat lengthy process of accessing the computers' data space. By the time he was face-to-face with Tron, Zexion had grown very impatient.

"Ienzo, I have some good news," the program began. Zexion never had been able to convince Tron to stop calling him Ienzo.

"Let's hear it."

"I was able to locate the back-up drive. Remarkably, it wasn't password protected: merely well hidden." There was a note of surprise in Tron's voice. "A user could spend their life looking for those files, and never find them."

"Thank you for your hard work," Zexion murmured.

"It was no trouble," Tron replied. "Would you like to see the recovered files?"

"Very much." Zexion's fingers twitched impatiently as Tron fished out the files.

Along with complete descriptions of each member of the Organization (name, age, blood type, height and weight included), there was a story, which must have been added more recently than the other files. It was a story about Kingdom Hearts, and the last Keyblade bearers (that part was obviously false, as Roxas had keyblades, but most people probably thought they were fake). It would obviously merit further research.

Although, if someone else had accessed the computer more recently… and Tron hadn't mentioned it…

"Tron, when was the last time that someone other than me accessed this computer?" Zexion was cold. So cold.

"If my estimation of user time is correct, the last access occurred about 150 years ago."

"And who was it that performed the access?" Zexion felt like he already knew.

"It was my original user: Ansem the Wise."

There were no words to adequately describe the scream of fury that ripped itself from Zexion's throat, filling the room, and the night, with the sound of his primal rage.

* * *

AN: Next chapter has a fairly long intro, which is all plot plot plot! You wanna see it? You know what to do.


	14. Kingdom Hearts and Firewater

AN: Calc test today! If I don't do awesome, I may be repeating calculus! Anyway, this chapter has what I believe will be Axel and Zexion's last lengthy conversation (and it takes up most of the chapter). The intro this time is about twice the normal length, to accommodate some explanation. With this explanation, if you don't understand something, please ask! Niffstral was concerned that some parts might be a bit unclear, and so I did some fixing, but the fixing hasn't been re-betaed. Some clarification will be in the end author's note, so please read it! Thanks to Niffstral, Festival of Asylum, blahgirl13, terracannon876, luckless-is-me, Knut Case, Sadist Schemer, LiteraryMirage, Schizo-of-Destiny and otaku-michiyo for reviewing, and thanks again to Niffstral for betaing.

Disclaimer: I own a Shadow plushie... we named him Scuddle-Puddle. But I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Chapter 14: Kingdom Hearts and Firewater

About 100 years ago, the citizens of Radiant Garden, and all the worlds contained therein abandoned the belief that I am about to relate. They decided at that time that Kingdom Hearts, the heart of all worlds, a presence that can be seen in all worlds, was but a moon floating in the sky. Their declaration, and the book-burnings that followed, invalidated many long, painful struggles between humans and the creatures born of their folly for control of Kingdom Hearts.

The belief they abandoned takes the form of a story.

Through the efforts of the last acknowledged Keyblade heroes, the captive hearts possessed by the Emblem Heartless all joined with Kingdom Hearts. The appearance of Kingdom Hearts in the sky of one world heralded its appearance in all the other worlds, causing a great change to occur in the fabric of the worlds. Kingdom Hearts was complete. Full. What did that mean? It meant that Kingdom Hearts drew in the hearts of the dying, but it had no room for them. Likewise, there was no room for new hearts to be born, either.

To make room for the hearts of the dead, and give birth to new hearts, the captive hearts were sent back into the worlds, and entered into fetuses. As people died, their hearts rejoined Kingdom Hearts, and when enough time had passed, their hearts were sent back into the worlds. In other words, rebirth. Reincarnation, with no connections to your previous life, except for your appearance.

There are some exceptions to the general rules, however. Bonds between hearts were wiped clean after death, but bonds of the soul did not break. Those who possessed such a bond retained one memory from their past life: the act that created their bond.

In short, the death of one who has only a soul to create a bond with. The death of a Nobody, who should leave nothing behind after they die. Yet, all Nobodies must be bound to someone on their death, for the soul does not go quietly to death when the heart is absent.

As a Nobody, Axel died saving Roxas. That connected their souls. When Axel manipulated another to kill me (Vexen's replica), he created a bond between our souls, and in this life, that caused us to be friends. Roxas was the soul of the one who killed Demyx, which brought them together. Axel's job was to eliminate Larxene and Marluxia, and his betrayal of them led to their deaths. How that led to a connection with Demyx, I do not know. Likewise, I cannot explain my connection to Xion, especially since she never had a soul to start with. I am tempted to label it a coincidence, or some act of poetic justice on the part of Kingdom Hearts. However, Lexaeus, my brother, died because of me. A sad circumstance to cause us to be brothers. Between Axel and Roxas, almost the entire Organization is bound to them, yet I'm the one who has to deal with the results.

Unfortunately, the continuous creation of new hearts (a good and natural process before, but without the emblems to keep things in check...) has caused an increase in births, which in turn causes an increase in hearts, and so on. The process is speeding up, and Kingdom Hearts may soon be destroyed as a result.

And then there's Ansem. He died seeking revenge on the apprentices that betrayed him. But he had a heart. How, then, does he remember so much? Was it our deaths that bound us to him? And why is he collecting us?

I can think of but three motives: revenge (as if he didn't get it before), to prevent the tragedy of Organization XIII from occurring again, or to force the tragedy to occur.

In Ansem's eyes, while I am older than Ienzo ever managed to be, I can only ever be Ienzo. I can only ever be his favorite, quiet, little genius, who will one day destroy us all. Perhaps he thinks he can change me into the Ienzo that he always wanted: the one who would never think of disobeying him.

If he really wanted to change me like that, perhaps he should have left my family alone. I only became truly dangerous in this life because I hate that old man. For Ansem, I will be the first little Shadow creeping into the castle basement: the harbinger of death.

* * *

It took Zexion two weeks to put all the information that he gathered from the computer into context. With the help of some old books, he managed to create a chart showing the connections between each former member of the Organization, though there were some that he couldn't explain.

He could understand why they would be detained in gummiport security, for it was not that they looked like dead Nobodies: they were the dead Nobodies. But belief in Kingdom Hearts having that kind of power had disappeared 100 years ago. Obviously Ansem still believed it (thus the security measures), but why did Ansem remember so much?

And what about their others? The people they originally were? Had they also been brought into the world? Zexion knew that it couldn't be so for the original six, or Ansem would have grabbed their others instead of them. Well, probably. The old man was nothing if not unpredictable.

The hard part about making the connection chart was hiding it. Zexion didn't want anyone else learning what he had learned. They could live their lives much more peacefully without knowing that they were an internationally wanted criminal in a past life. In most cases, it would have no bearing on their present life.

…But Demyx refused to be protected.

"Zexy," he began one day at the beginning of March, "Do you remember a few months ago when I got freaked out by a dream?"

Zexion remembered. Even if that hadn't led to Zexion losing his virginity, it was a hard few days to forget.

"I remember." 'Nuff said.

"Well, I think I remembered where the eyes are familiar from. They're Roxas's eyes."

"How odd." Zexion really didn't want this conversation to continue. Seriously.

"Except his eyebrows were the wrong color," Demyx mused.

"Then perhaps it's not Roxas that you're thinking of? After all, why would you have a dream where Roxas kills you?"

Demyx took on a doubtful expression, slowly being swayed by Zexion's logic. "I guess you're right," he admitted.

Part of Zexion wanted to tell Demyx the whole story. But unlike other parts of him, that one was easily suppressed. Would the truth make anyone any happier? It sure hadn't helped _him_. What happened in a previous life shouldn't affect your current life, but Ansem couldn't be dissuaded. To Ansem, nothing had changed. No matter what different paths they took, the souls of his six apprentices were still the same people that they'd been originally.

In the majority of cases, that must have been true. Xigbar had said that they had all been criminals before, though the accusations against Vexen had been false, and Lexaeus was only a criminal insofar as a regular soldier could be called a criminal. But that fit with the information that Zexion had gotten.

The question now was, what to do?

* * *

"You haven't been home much lately," Axel observed from the kitchen table, watching Zexion make dinner. "Thinking of moving out?"

"Of course not," Zexion replied, sounding just the teensiest bit offended. "I'd simply rather not make things any harder on the neighbors."

Axel grinned. "You know they secretly love it."

"Yes, and because they love it so much, they call you while you're in the act so you'll stop."

Axel's grin turned sheepish. He coughed awkwardly. "Always right to the point, aren't you?"

"You always jump around the issue, so I like to save you the energy," was the quiet retort.

"There are some things that don't need to be said, or can be kept vague," Axel pointed out cheerfully.

"You only think that because it allows you to be dishonest," Zexion shot back.

"Ouch. You're really on your game today, Zex. Are you sure you're not planning on moving out?"

"I'm certain. It is good to have a place to return to in the event of a fight, or some similar occurrence. You and Roxas are lucky that you're such a masochist," Zexion explained, smiling slightly, though Axel couldn't see.

"Can't argue with that," Axel muttered. "But what if I'm the one that gets mad?"

"Axel, you're like a forest fire: very slow to start, but almost unstoppable once started. As such, you take care to vent your anger in alternate ways, to prevent the forest fire from starting," Zexion stated calmly.

Axel contemplated the tabletop thoughtfully, cupping his chin in his hands. "Has it really been almost four years since we met?"

"I wouldn't say almost," Zexion murmured. "It's been about three and a half."

"Still," Axel insisted, "That's a long time. A long time to make a kid cook."

"If I preferred eating the burned creations that you make, I'm certain I would have stopped a long time ago," Zexion agreed. "But being the only one who knows how to cook has its' advantages."

"How so?"

"I can use food as a bribe."

Axel snorted. "Now who's the dishonest one?"

"I never said I wasn't dishonest," Zexion murmured. "We both know better than to take everything I say at face value."

Axel's expression darkened. "Zex…"

"Just as you wanted, I've ended my criminal acts," Zexion continued, ignoring Axel's interruption. "Someday, I will tell you everything, just as you wished."

"Why does it have to be someday?" Axel's voice was full of concern. It made Zexion's stomach clench with guilt.

"Because you're a fighter, Axel," Zexion explained with an air of wistfulness. "Like fire, you can't be tamed or contained. Roxas is like that, too. Demyx prefers to move around obstacles, like flowing water. While I…" Zexion hesitated, his hands stilling in their food preparation. "I won't fight until it's the very last option. That's why I don't think you'll understand yet. Our ways of handling problems are too different."

"But why do you have to do this alone?"

Zexion heard the word 'alone,' and his mind went automatically to what he'd been researching, as well as his childhood dream. Axel was the one who'd killed him, the one who took everyone else away…

"You're the one that made me alone in the first place." The words were out of Zexion's mouth before he could stop them.

Axel cocked an eyebrow. "What do you mean by that?"

"You're the one that took the others away!" Zexion's body was entirely independent of his mind at this point, and he slowly turned to face Axel. "It's your fault that I have to do everything alone!"

Axel stared at Zexion in confusion, and Zexion felt tears developing in the corners of his eyes. Not good. He'd said something that had no relation to the current Axel, and the feelings swelling in his heart had no relation to the current Zexion. There was no way to recover the situation. The moment that he regained the use of his legs, Zexion ran. He almost knocked over Roxas, who was on his way inside. Axel actually did knock Roxas over in his hurry to follow.

"Do you mind?" Roxas demanded indignantly.

"Later!" Axel called breathlessly, his attention entirely on Zexion's retreating back. His legs were quite a bit longer, and he wasn't in the same state of distress as the person he was chasing, so he caught Zexion as he threw himself into the stairwell.

"Why did you follow me?" Zexion demanded, trying to hide the condensation that had developed around his eyes.

"Because you're not making any sense," Axel muttered, dragging them both into a sitting position on the top step. "Were you planning on never coming back?"

"It was a possibility," Zexion muttered.

"Why?"

That all-important question. The one that had plagued Zexion, both sleeping and waking, for the last few months. Demyx had asked it often, and now Zexion wanted to ask Ansem that question. How to answer?

"Axel, do you remember that book you found in my room a few months ago?" Zexion had settled on the truth, consequences be dammed. Axel could be trusted with the truth.

"Yeah. I read it all the way through," he announced proudly.

"Well, you remember the pages with the pictures on them?" The pages that had started this cycle of madness.

"Yeah," Axel confirmed gravely. "There were a lot of familiar faces there. Kind of weird."

"And have you ever dreamt that you were dying?" Zexion's voice had dropped to almost a whisper.

Axel's expression darkened. "Yeah. I had it when I was eight, and again the night after I met Roxas."

"What happened?" Zexion's heart rate had gone back to normal. Axel would understand. He always did.

"I exploded," Axel explained calmly. "More accurately, I blew myself up. I couldn't let Roxas die."

"Roxas was in your dream?" Zexion's tone held surprise. Both he and Demyx had only seen eyes. Then again, Axel would easily be able to identify Roxas by his eyes.

"I… dunno. It was more like a feeling," Axel admitted. "I saw these eyes that looked like his, only something was wrong. But this feeling of relief came over me. 'Good,' I'd thought. 'He's alive. As long as Roxas is alive…' Something like that."

"Well," Zexion began, steeling himself, "That wasn't just a dream. It really happened."

Axel's eyes held suspicion. "What do you mean?"

"Axel, you are the person in that picture that you saw. You are number VIII in Organization XIII, the Nobody who gave up his pathetic sham of a life up to save the one who held his heart, number XIII. I'm number VI." Zexion took a deep breath. "You are responsible for my death, along with the deaths of numbers IV, VII, XI and XII."

* * *

"Is someone going to explain to me what that was about?" Roxas demanded when Axel and Zexion returned. He'd taken advantage of their absence to harvest an ice cream bar from the freezer.

…Which Axel promptly confiscated.

"Zex was making dinner when we left," Axel scolded. "No ice cream before dinner."

"Let him have it," Zexion advised. "After knocking him over like that…"

Axel caved, and handed the ice cream bar back. But Roxas still needed his answer.

"So? What was the hurry?"

"Oh, uh…" Axel struggled to come up with a good lie.

"Axel suggested that my cooking wasn't good enough for him," Zexion supplied. "I suggested that he make his own dinner and left."

"Oh, okay," Roxas replied, nodding.

Axel couldn't believe that Roxas had believed it. Then again, the two of them were fairly dependant on Zexion's cooking. They'd starve if he left.

…But they couldn't live with him forever, could they?

Axel watched Roxas and Zexion chat about dinner with a detached disinterest. His mind was occupied with what Zexion had told him, though some details had been purposely omitted. 'You don't need to know how this affects me,' Zexion had said, his indifferent face back on. 'What you need to worry about is how this affects you. There are some people out there that may still blame you, you know. And now that you know, you may find yourself behaving... differently.'

"Axel, are you listening?" Roxas' face appeared in front of Axel's, wearing a slightly irritated expression.

"Nope," Axel admitted calmly. "I was thinking."

"Oh." Any irritation that Roxas may have been feeling melted away. "I met someone today who looks a lot like me."

Axel felt a spike of fear, coming from somewhere deep inside. He barely heard Roxas's explanation about how it had been arranged for Roxas to meet this person because they were both Keyblade users. Axel didn't like that Roxas had met any such person. He knew that it was because of what Zexion had said. He knew it was completely irrational. But Axel didn't like it.

"What was his name?" Axel interrupted suddenly.

"Sora," Roxas replied, unsettled.

"Are you going to see him again?" Axel demanded impatiently.

Roxas and Zexion both stared. Axel was tweaking out.

"Probably not."

"Good," Axel muttered, standing suddenly.

"Axel?" Roxas asked, concerned.

Axel didn't answer, choosing to stride across the kitchen and into his room, slamming the door behind him.

"What's wrong with him?" Roxas asked Zexion, his eyebrows knitted together.

"I don't know."

* * *

AN: Clarification! Sora didn't have a soul when he beat Larxene and Marluxia, so their deaths are attributed to Axel, whose betrayal caused their deaths. With Saix, Axel's death led to Saix's defeat, in the sense that Axel's death caused Sora and Roxas to unite properly. Also, Axel's betrayal of Saix contributed to Saix ending up in that situation. If I had Zexion's chart handy, I would point out that Saix is linked to both Roxas and Axel.


	15. Tattoos and the Serenade of Water

AN: The last chapter got less reviews that usual, but the ones I got were all really nice. Thanks, guys. Part of this chapter's title comes from another videogame. Do you know which one? Thanks to terracannon876, Sadist Schemer, Schizo-of-Destiny, luckless-is-me, Knut Case, LiteraryMirage, Light Within Darkness, xStillxInxLovex and sesshomaruhasafluffytail for reviewing. Thanks to Niffstral for betaing. Here's the update you've been begging for. Oh, if you can't figure out what Demyx is singing about, I feel for you.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or the Serenade of Water.

Chapter 15: Tattoos and the Serenade of Water

I have a secret that only four people know, including me. Even Axel doesn't know, because I've never told anyone about it. I suspect that my parents would not approve of my secret if they knew it, as they were never supportive of any kind of permanent body modification.

Yes, that's right. I have a tattoo. It wasn't my choice to get it. I have never in my life desired the pain of having my flesh repeatedly punctured by a needle. Ansem had other plans (doesn't he always?). He decided to have me branded after I agreed to go to the castle without a fight, and so he had the stylized outline of a heart tattooed on my inner left thigh. Apparently, the symbol represents Kingdom Hearts, and he makes all of the "apprentices" get it. We get to choose where, so I chose a place that no one was likely to see. Consequently, Demyx, Ansem, the tattoo artist and myself are the only ones who know that it's there at all. That was fun to explain. I'd almost forgotten it was there when Demyx noticed it.

At the time that I got it, I was 14. Completely illegal in Radiant Garden, even with parental consent. Even Ansem, the man who makes the laws, couldn't make this any more legal. He'd planned ahead. "Dilan" does all the tattoos. The man is two to three times my size, with the muscles of a bodybuilder. Needless to say, I've had more pleasant experiences. I couldn't walk straight for a week. Inappropriate questions were asked.

I hated the dark blue ink that stained my flesh. It was a symbol of ownership, placed by someone who I could only ever hate. I couldn't exactly get rid of it, since the procedure is more expensive and time-consuming than getting the tattoo in the first place, and Ansem would just have it put back on.

My feelings about that tattoo began to change, though. When I told Demyx that I had been forced to get it (though not why), he'd kissed it. He refused to stop until I told him that I didn't hate the tattoo, and I had to mean it. I may have… dragged that out a little. That tattoo is on fairly sensitive skin, after all. And when I told him that I didn't hate it, of course I meant it. How could I hate something that Demyx's lips had touched?

Demyx mentioned recently that he'd been thinking about getting a tattoo of his own, to match mine. Despite the fact that mine makes me feel like a branded cow, I couldn't tell him not to.

* * *

The first time that Zexion heard Demyx play guitar, he was amazed. Given Demyx's generally relaxed attitude (one that was being worn away more and more as time passed), seeing Demyx's fingers move with such speed and grace took his breath away. And Demyx's only explanation for his skill was some trite nonsense about practice. Zexion didn't believe that only practice had given Demyx such skillful fingers. He must have had some measure of natural talent as well.

The fourth time that Zexion heard Demyx play guitar, he knew why Demyx was so skilled. He also thought it felt wrong. Demyx shouldn't be playing guitar, he'd thought. Demyx's true instrument is a bizarrely shaped sitar. But Demyx was happy with guitar, wasn't he? Zexion didn't have a right to impose past-life restrictions on him.

…Zexion was more than a little disturbed by how little it took for him to think and feel as if that former life was his current one. He could still only remember his death, but he couldn't believe that his heart had been completely wiped clean. Every day, there would be something that someone would say or do that would trigger a feeling that didn't make any sense in that situation. Had becoming aware of things really made that much of a difference, or was he experiencing the placebo effect?

"Demyx," Zexion began one day in mid-March, setting down his book, while Demyx strummed idly on his guitar strings, "Are you familiar with an instrument called the sitar?" He had to ask. He had to know if something like this carried over.

Demyx looked up from his guitar, smiling in an odd sort of way. "How did you know?"

Zexion's eyebrows knitted together. "How did I know what?" He'd just asked if Demyx had heard of the instrument. That wasn't an odd question was it?

Demyx's answer came when he put down his guitar and threw open the closet door. Leaning against one of the closet's walls was a very strangely shaped, blue, stringed instrument. Only one thought was running through Zexion's mind: Holy fuck. Axel had his chakrams, Roxas had his keyblades, and Demyx had his sitar. What next?

"This is my sitar," Demyx announced proudly. "I call her Arpeggio. I like her more than I like my guitar, but my guitar is what I can get scholarships for and major in." Demyx's smile was radiant.

"Why haven't I seen…" Zexion hesitated at the thought of calling an instrument by name, or giving it a gender. "Why haven't I seen her before?"

"There aren't many people who understand the beauty of sitar music," Demyx explained mournfully. "The neighbors especially don't like it. So I've been keeping Arpeggio in the closet."

"Will you play for me?" Zexion didn't know if the sound of Demyx playing Arpeggio was in any way a familiar sound to his soul, but what harm would it do?

"Of course," Demyx chirped, his smile back in place, though a slight blush stained his cheeks.

Demyx's fingers moved slowly across the strings at first, feeling out the instrument carefully. When he was finally satisfied that he still knew what he was doing, his fingers moved quicker, plucking out a melody that made Zexion think of far distant worlds, scorching sunlight, and a dry dustiness everywhere. Then the melody changed, reflecting an ominous gloom. Then the melody flowed like water over hot sand. With his instrument, Demyx wove together a story of a traveler going from world to world, and began to sing.

"Some call me a hero," Demyx began softly, bewitching Zexion immediately, "And some say I'm up to no good. No matter what they say, I've gotta help, gotta help, gotta help! Save the world? If I can, sure. But first, I'm looking for someone. Have you seen him? No? Well, I'll be back soon."

Demyx's voice was amazing. Zexion had no other word for it. How had he not heard him sing before?

"When I find him, we can go home." Demyx's voice became radically softer for this stanza, and his expression saddened. "I'll be just like it was before. No worries, not anymore. Won't you come back?" Demyx smiled again. "Well, I'm just a world traveler! Can't go back home! Can I help you with that? Oh, did I interrupt? I don't belong, not here nor there. Always just a visitor, just a traveler, looking for a warm bed…" Demyx trailed off, then looked up at Zexion expectantly.

Zexion was speechless, and it had nothing to do with the subject matter of the song (which he'd recognized. Research'll do that to you). "Have you considered," Zexion began when he got his voice back, "perhaps a voice major?"

Demyx grinned embarrassedly. "Not really. I don't take very good care of my voice. And no one's ever said that it's good before. Besides, there's not much you can actually do with a voice major, except sing opera."

"Idiot," Zexion muttered. "Of course your voice is good. It's beautiful."

"You really think so?" Demyx's eyes were shining.

"I don't say things that I don't mean," Zexion muttered, finding those shining eyes hard to meet.

Demyx crossed the room quickly, throwing himself down on the couch next to Zexion with a brilliant smile. "So then, what did you think of the song?" Demyx asked cheerfully.

"I've never heard it before," Zexion admitted, thinking that Demyx had been singing an old song. Then the question sunk in. "Wait. Did you write that?"

"Yeah," Demyx affirmed, nodding. "It's not finished, though."

"Have you given it a name?"

"The working title is 'Go Home,'" Demyx muttered. "It's not very good…"

"Demyx," Zexion cut in sternly, "don't put yourself down. You are musically talented, though we both knew that already. The fact that you can write songs already puts you above a fair number of people. The song was good."

"Really?" Demyx didn't seem to notice that he was halfway sitting in Zexion's lap by now. Or maybe he was pretending not to notice.

"Demyx," Zexion warned quietly.

"Right. You don't say things you don't mean." Demyx had now gotten himself completely onto Zexion's lap. This was obviously planned.

Zexion sighed, "Dem, is there a reason that you're sitting on me?"

Demyx tilted his head to one side. "I need a reason?"

"No, I suppose not…" Zexion admitted. "But you're acting like a cat."

"Really? I've never had a cat before, so I wouldn't know," Demyx replied cheerfully, wrapping his arms around Zexion's neck.

Zexion grinned ruefully. "I was reading before we started talking. But now that you've got my attention, you don't want to give it up," he explained patiently. "My cats used to sit on my lap when I was reading. They'd usually sit on top of the book, as you're doing right now."

Demyx hadn't even noticed that he was sitting on a book. "Zexy has kitties?" Demyx was trying to be cute. Zexion wondered what that could mean.

"They live with my parents," Zexion explained, forgetting the fact that he'd made any mention of his family taboo. "There's three of them, all of whom my sister named. The oldest one is Terra, because he's brown. Then there's Aqua, who looks blue in the right light. The youngest is Ventus, but he's usually called Sunbeam instead. He's yellow, by the way."

"Why is his nickname longer than his name?"

"Because no one was thinking when he was named. If we had to name him again, his name would actually be Sunbeam," Zexion muttered. "It's blinding to look at him in the sunlight."

Demyx grinned. "Zexy, you're actually a cat person, aren't you? I should'a guessed."

"If I wasn't, I would have shoved you off of me immediately," Zexion informed Demyx calmly.

"Aw, don't say that! I just wanted to sit with you, but you've been acting weird lately, ya know?"

So Demyx had noticed. Trust the one who was always watching to be able to tell. Zexion dearly wished he could go back in time and tell himself not to dig too deeply into matters of the past. Those things were best left forgotten, and now he'd dragged Axel into it, too. It's hard to relax when you know that all of the people that are close to you were all heartless killers in the past, especially Axel. Not that Zexion's conscience was clear either. Demyx's probably was, since he'd always done his best to get out of potentially dangerous jobs. Roxas's conscience, though… Zexion didn't want to speculate. The best thing he could do for everyone was to make sure that Roxas never found out.

Zexion didn't like how impulsive he was becoming. Previously, he had been able to keep a cool head in almost any situation, but his control had been slipping since he'd met Demyx. Perhaps it wasn't fair to say that his self-control had been good in the first place, if one person had been able to destroy it so quickly. Perhaps Zexion was supposed to be impulsive. Perhaps acting on the desire of the moment was how he was truly meant to live his life.

With the idea of that maybe he should just do whatever he wanted floating in his mind, Zexion acted impulsively with regards to the cheerful blond on his lap. Demyx really was just begging for it.

* * *

"I'm waiting."

"For what? You're the one who called, you know," Zexion muttered into the phone. Frickin' Ansem.

"The people that I put in charge of watching you have reported that you have been acting very oddly lately," Ansem conceded. "I am waiting for you to explain yourself."

"Explaining won't change anything. Even if I tell you everything, you won't tell me anything in return," Zexion explained bitterly. "There's nothing for me to gain from a one-way flow of information."

The rush of static told Zexion that Ansem had sighed. "Even has been brought back."

"He ran free for an awfully long time, didn't he? Several months at least," Zexion observed confidently.

"The world he escaped to was one that is widely considered uninhabitable," Ansem muttered. "No one thought that he would risk his own life like that."

"Which world?"

"The World Between Worlds," Ansem muttered darkly. "He was in a place called Castle Oblivion."

Of course Vexen thought that he could escape there. Or maybe he was drawn there because he'd died there.

"That castle is a place that reflects the memories of the person traveling through it," Ansem continued. "He was found in an illusion of Twilight Town, staring at a spot on the ground."

Yup, he was drawn by his death. But wait, why was Ansem saying all of this?

"I am telling you this, Ienzo, so that you know you cannot hope to escape to that place," Ansem explained impassively.

…Did Ansem even know what he was saying?

"Why would I want to? Castle Oblivion holds no interest for me," Zexion insisted. "I've never even heard of that place before."

"There is no need to lie, Ienzo."

"I'm not lying. I have no interest in Castle Oblivion." Really. It was too morbid.

"But you have heard of it before," Ansem stated.

Oh crap.

"Perhaps I have, in passing, but not that I recall," Zexion lied, praying that Ansem would let it go. He was afraid. What would Ansem do if he knew that Zexion knew the truth? Would he have to leave sooner?

Ansem couldn't push the issue any farther without revealing anything, luckily. "I suppose that is possible," he allowed. "Are you enjoying your last two months?"

"You might say that."

"I'm glad to hear it," Ansem replied, sounding genuinely pleased.

Zexion was starting to get a clearer idea of Ansem's goal. The ones who lived in the castle against their wills had only their memories to get them through it. Memories of joy and sadness, sunrise and sunset, love and heartbreak, the bonds of friendship… They had only the memories of those things, for in the castle, none of those things existed. Zexion had been in the castle once, and he could not contemplate returning if he'd had a choice in the matter. The castle was a place that killed emotion, making the existence of one who dwelt within there comparable to the existence of a Nobody, and who better to become Nobodies than they who were dead to the world?

"For a Nobody doesn't truly exist at all," Zexion murmured.

"What did you say?"

Fuck. No.

"I was just talking to myself." Bullshit.

"Ienzo, you seem rather determined to lie to me tonight," Ansem observed. "What do you have to lose by telling the truth?"

"Everything. The last few moments of my life. I wouldn't give those moments up for anything," Zexion whispered venomously. It seemed like no matter where he was, there was always a risk of being overheard. Usually the same risk.

"What makes you think I'd go back on my word? I respect our bargain, you know."

"I don't care if you respect it or not," Zexion shot back. "I take no unnecessary risks."

"Then what do you call what you've been doing since November?" He _would_ bring that up.

"If I remember correctly, you encouraged that," Zexion muttered.

"I encouraged you to try new things. I also told you to cut all unnecessary ties." Ansem's voice had a dangerous undertone.

"I have no unnecessary ties. It comes with being on good terms with very few people."

"You're only going to break his heart," Ansem warned.

"I'm surprised that you're willing to admit that he even has a heart," Zexion spat, forgetting for the moment what the implications were of what he'd just said.

There was silence on the other end. Zexion felt like beating his head against the wall. After all that secrecy, he'd blown it all in the heat of the moment.

Then: "Have you told anyone?"

"No. I'm not an idiot." Just a liar. "I'd rather go back to not knowing."

"And, is that the reason you've been behaving oddly?" Ansem sounded strangely calm.

"Yes. I've been experiencing wrongly placed emotions. They don't fit the situations I'm in when they happen," Zexion explained quietly.

"I doubt the two things are connected," Ansem replied confidently.

"And why is that?"

"Because Nobodies don't feel. You wouldn't experience strange emotions after learning that you were a Nobody."

"I lashed out at Axel," Zexion murmured.

"You can feel, and the you that can feel is resentful towards the Axel that killed you. Those feelings are not left over, because they never existed in the first place. They only exist now that you have a heart again," Ansem explained calmly.

"If you say so."

* * *

AN: Nifftsral left a nice little comment after Zexion's last line when she was betaing... She cursed out Ansem. :) If you can't tell, we're coming quickly to the end, so send me your love/hate!


	16. Sleepless Nights and Swift Streams

AN: You may hate me for this. I got a D on my Calculus exam, so I hate myself enough right now. Thanks to terracannon876, Light Within Darkness, raindrops on roses7, luckless-is-me, Sadist Schemer, Schizo-of-Destiny, Ginri, LiteraryMirage, NiffStral, Knut Case, and Princess of Oblivion for reviewing! Niff, your services are, as always, invaluable. Oh, side note, Demyx refers to a first boyfriend. Just so ya know, that isn't any character in particular. Have fun with X-face and bad number jokes! Oh, and post-it notes left on the fridge.

Disclaimer: I continue to own at mission mode, but that hasn't brought me any closer to owning the franchise.

Chapter 16: Sleepless Nights and Swift Streams

I used to dedicate my sleepless nights to studying. Not studying for classes, though, there were enough hours of daylight for that (though my classmates said otherwise). Essentially, I would take a week or two to learn all that I could about a given subject. The results of that studying are the reason why I'm considered a genius. It's almost amazing that I didn't get to the subject of sexuality until the last week of last August. I'd been putting it off. With my 18th birthday rapidly approaching, I decided that I couldn't avoid the question of my sexuality forever.

Yes, it was a question. Until the end of that week, I'd considered myself asexual. Some of the more explicit romance novels holding up Axel's bed proved that to be an incorrect assumption. He has a weakness for those poorly written wastes of paper, and has a wide variety in stock, so I helped myself. Tawdry excuses for literature they may be, but they did teach me one very important fact about myself: I'm gay.

I didn't tell anyone. What good would it have done? Okay, so I like men. But I'm not the type to be satisfied with sleeping around (not that I've actually tried). With less than a year of freedom left, knowing the truth about my sexuality didn't change anything. I wanted to fall in love, but I could only hurt my significant other. I would have been happy with an unrequited love. That way, I would know what it was like to be in love without causing the other person any trouble. I would have been the only one to suffer.

Demyx ruined that. He's been in love with me for years. When I developed feelings for him, I didn't know what to do. No matter what I did, he was going to get hurt. Before long, though, I allowed myself to forget about that, and just enjoy the moment. He loves me. I love him. The future is but an illusion, no more tangible than a dream. When the future comes to pass, I'll have to bear the weight of the things that I've done.

I've made a lot of mistakes and miscalculations in my life. Demyx may have been a miscalculation, but he wasn't a mistake. Even if this life is the only one that we get together, I can't regret anything.

* * *

Demyx

I hated high school. From what I've heard from Zexy, he didn't like it either. High schoolers are cruel. My first boyfriend strung me along for so long, until he told me one day that, thanks to me, he was sure now that he preferred girls. The next day, I was being shoved into lockers for being gay. He'd outed me, knowing exactly what would happen. I was… I dunno, I was angry, sad, heartbroken, pissed… I wanted to destroy something beautiful. I wanted to scream my head off about unfair it all was. What was so wrong with me that I deserved what I was getting?

That was the first time I talked to Riku. When he first found me, I was kicking over trashcans. He stopped me, and told me to hit him, saying I looked like I needed to hurt someone. I told him that there was no point if it wasn't the guy who'd hurt me, but Riku told me to try it anyway. I punched him in the stomach. I did it again. Then I lost control. Riku managed to defend himself until I collapsed on the ground. I didn't cry, like the movies show people doing after something like that, but I did feel better.

Riku and I didn't become friends. Just, sometimes he'd show up and stop me from getting beaten up, or he'd show up when I was trying to vent. Riku was the only person at that high school that I can still say I like. I'm sure there were other good people there, but I never met them. I never had anyone to talk to, really. Maybe it was because of my stunted emotional growth (as Zexy diplomatically calls it), but no one ever got close to me. Am I really that weird?

Now that I think about it, I never really liked the Destiny Islands, except for the whole island part. I used to take my little wooden boat to one of the smaller islands and just sing. I'd sing my frustrations away, and let the trees, the sand, and the birds take some small part of it. Because of that, I don't sing around other people. It's a personal thing. Singing to Zexion took months, but by then, it just felt so natural.

It really is a good thing that I fell in love with Zexion. How did I live for so long without him?

* * *

Tick-tock, goes the clock, sitting on the wall. With every tick, another second gone, ticking life away.

Tick-tock.

* * *

Zexion,

Saïx has been standing outside of the building since last night. Can you take care of him?

-Roxas

* * *

"I don't really care, but why are you here?" Zexion approached the taller, scarred man cautiously. He hadn't had any positive encounters with Saïx. It was usually his job to send Saïx on his way. Why this job fell to the weakest person living in that apartment, Zexion could only guess.

"Hmph." Saïx snorted derisively. "You again. Is Axel too spineless to face me himself?"

"Axel can choose whether or not he wants to deal with you," Zexion replied calmly. "He hates you."

Saïx turned his face away quickly, but Zexion saw the hurt in those yellow eyes.

"Has something changed since the last time?" Zexion didn't know why he asked; he really didn't want to know.

"Nothing," Saïx muttered. "Nothing, except for a dream."

…So it was spreading. Or at least consciousness of it was.

"What did you see?" Probably Sora.

"Kingdom Hearts," Saïx replied calmly.

"Then why did you come here?" Zexion asked indifferently.

Saïx turned back to face Zexion, his expression unreadable. "Why was six afraid of seven?" Saïx asked eventually.

…What the hell?

"What?"

"Why was six afraid of seven?" Saïx repeated, looking just as impassive.

"I don't know," Zexion replied honestly.

"Because seven eight nine."

"…That was a terrible joke." But those numbers… no. Saïx couldn't know about that. "And you didn't answer my question."

"I'm here," Saïx began in his usual detached tone, "because you are VI, I am VII, Axel is VIII, and your boyfriend is IX."

Zexion had more questions for Saïx than he was capable of articulating. And, dammit. Saïx _did_ know.

"How did you find out?"

"I overheard your conversation with Axel in the stairwell."

Fucking stalker.

"So? Why do you think this changes anything?" Hah. Good joke, Zexion.

"Because it means that even in the next life, Axel and I will be connected. He can't keep running away forever," Saïx reasoned calmly.

"The two of you are also connected to Roxas," Zexion reminded him. "As I said, this changes nothing."

"Why do you protect him? Axel killed you."

"The past has no bearing on the future. Holding on to feelings from a past life only keeps you from living this life."

"Zexion-" Saïx began.

"Don't address me so casually," Zexion spat. "I didn't want to do this, but since you prefer the past to the present…" Zexion seemed to become taller, or at least more imposing. The look he gave Saïx from behind his hair was one of supreme condescension. "Saïx, you may be second-in-command, but here, you're in my territory. In this place, I am your superior. Leave."

Saïx didn't move, though he had dropped his expressionless mask.

"That was an order, number VII."

Saïx fled.

* * *

Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Tick-tock.

* * *

After discovering that commonplace occurrences could trigger strong emotional responses from him if the occurrence had something to do with his previous life, Zexion had wondered if a more direct approach when dealing with those that he had known before would have a similar affect on them. Axel immediately had freaked out at the mention of Sora, and that had convinced Zexion.

Still, there is a certain amount of guilt that comes with using past lives as a weapon against others. For this reason, Saïx had been the first person that Zexion had tried it on. Success did not feel all that good. He felt like a hypocrite.

Hypocrisy was not his biggest worry, though. Now, yet another person knew. Zexion suspected that Demyx's sister Larxene also knew, based on what Demyx had said about her research. The situation was getting out of control. Even if he left, the problems here weren't going to go away.

Well, he had to leave pretty much regardless. Still, he'd hoped that his going away would take care of all the problems. How childish.

"I was once known as the Cloaked Schemer," Zexion muttered one night, watching TV with Axel. "Yet I can't come up with a way to fix things."

"Your survival doesn't depend on your ability to manipulate your chess pieces anymore," Axel explained. "You're not the same person that you were."

"Don't talk like you remember anything," Zexion replied calmly. "None of us remember."

"Maybe so," Axel admitted. "But I've been doing some reading. It's actually pretty easy to find information on the founding members of the Organization if you look in the right places."

"Oh, so you did a background check on me," Zexion observed wryly. "And what did you find out?"

"I found out that Ienzo was a genius."

"Everyone knows that."

"Yeah," Axel agreed. "Ienzo was very young when he was made an apprentice. His intelligence and young age made him an outcast among the apprentices, especially since he was the favorite."

Great. Zexion had that to look forward to.

"He managed to earn their respect, though. Not that he tried to," Axel continued, smiling a bit. "When they all became Nobodies, Ienzo was the last one to join the Organization. That didn't do anything to improve their opinions of him."

…Did such thorough information on Hollow Bastion's most hated enemy really exist? Who would go to the trouble of creating and maintaining such careful documentation?

"Ienzo was also one of the weakest fighters in the Organization. He made up for this by manipulating others into fighting for him. Ienzo survived by knowing who he could control, and what they were good at."

That sounded about right to Zexion. He was still pitifully weak.

"I guess… I didn't like that," Axel commented quietly, "Since I was Saïx's game piece. If this is still chess, I was probably the queen."

"The most dangerous piece on the board," Zexion murmured. "I won't disagree with that. All records on number VIII indicate that he was someone who enjoying killing. But you're not him anymore, either."

Axel smiled. "That's what I like about you Zex. You make a lot of sense, ya know?"

"Of course I do. You had to kill me because I would have caught onto your plan with Saïx, right? Even then, it's not like you had something against me," Zexion reasoned.

"Heh. Somehow, I don't think Roxas is gonna take all this as well as we have," Axel muttered.

"That's why you can't tell him."

"What?" Axel looked like he'd never considered keeping it a secret forever.

"What do you think Roxas would do if he found out that you'd killed yourself so that he could live?"

Axel's expression turned mischievous. "He'd send me to heaven?"

"Don't twist the meaning around," Zexion scolded. "He'd kill you again. Not to mention the fact that Roxas has a lot more baggage associated with his previous life than we do. He's better off not knowing."

"Does that mean that you haven't told Demyx?"

"That is correct. He doesn't need to associate his first college friend with his death," Zexion muttered.

"Seems like you have the same problem," Axel remarked. "But you seem to be doing okay."

"Like I said, it was nothing personal. I was killed in a power struggle. Demyx was sent on a suicide mission, and killed by someone who was only taught to sympathize with Nobodies by you dying!" Shit. Not those emotions again.

"Zex, I thought you said that Roxas killed him."

"I guess you didn't bother to look that up," Zexion muttered venomously. "Roxas wasn't in control there. It was Sora, the exalted Keyblade hero that killed him. Roxas was just along for the ride."

"What do you mean by "along for the ride?"" Axel's voice was trembling slightly.

"Axel, you really don't know about Roxas?"

"No. I didn't like it when I found out that he met Sora, but I don't know why."

"Then let me make this a little clearer. Roxas was Sora's Nobody. Roxas fled the Organization in an attempt to learn the truth about himself, but he was caught, and forced to merge with Sora again," Zexion explained tonelessly. "You betrayed the Organization, because you were trying to turn Sora into a Heartless."

"Why didn't you tell me all of this before?"

Zexion smirked. "Do you want me to answer that?"

Axel didn't.

* * *

Hey Zex,

I know we haven't really talked about this at all, but what are you going to do after graduation? Do you still want to live in the apartment? Not that I'm kicking you out, or anything. You're always welcome, got it memorized? It's just that graduation's in a month, and I need some notice if you're gonna stop paying rent.

-Ax

Axel,

I will be moving out after graduation. However, would you mind holding on to my belongings until I get settled? If you need the room, you can put it all into storage.

-Zexion

Zex,

Sure, that's fine. You're not moving in with Demyx, though? I figured that's what you'd do.

-Ax

Axel,

I think we had this conversation a while ago, but it bears repeating: I'm not moving in with Demyx. Let me say it one more time. I'm not moving in with Demyx.

-Zexion

Zex,

Defensive much?

-Ax

Axel,

Stop leaving these notes all over the place. You're wasting paper. Just send me texts.

-Zexion

Zex,

You're doing the same thing.

-Ax

Axel,

Do you want to know why Roxas still seems to have a steady supply of ice cream, even though you've purged the freezer? There's a smaller freezer in my room. Guess what's inside.

-Zexion

Zex,

Argh! No! You're gonna make my little Roxy get fat! I'll remember this.

-Ax

Axel,

I'm sure you will. Have fun with that.

-Zexion

Zex,

You could at least pretend to take me seriously.

-Ax

Axel,

Graduation's tomorrow. I'm taking that seriously.

-Zexion

Zex,

It's not really a big deal. They're just releasing us into the world of adults.

-Ax

Ax,

You have no idea.

-Zex

* * *

"They'll come to collect you the morning after you graduate. Understand? You have that night to get anything that you still have to do out of the way," Ansem explained indulgently.

"I got it," Zexion murmured.

"Try not to give them too much trouble. The plan is to conceal your name and identity, so even though it will be known that Ienzo was caught, no one will know who he really is."

"How generous of you," Zexion spat.

"That means," Ansem continued, "that if you don't want to, you don't have to tell anyone that you're Ienzo. They can just think that you vanished."

"I'm certain that they will find that thought immensely comforting."

And Zexion had planned to tell them anyway. It wouldn't matter by then if he were hated for it.

"You're in a foul mood tonight, Ienzo," Ansem observed.

"My life is almost over. Don't expect me to thank you for that."

"Don't be so overdramatic. You're not coming here to die."

"What will you do if I try to die?" Zexion asked quietly.

"You wouldn't try," was the confident reply.

"But what if I did?" Zexion insisted.

"You have to stay alive, Ienzo. As the most sensible of the group, your presence is necessary."

"They've lasted this long without me."

"Yes, and I've had two escapes in the last six months, along with a kidnapping," Ansem replied ruefully.

"And you think that just because I have the most sense, I won't try anything?" Zexion was smiling into the phone. "You forget that I spent the better part of two years attacking the infrastructures of different worlds."

"Ienzo, I think you know what will happen if you attempt to rebel within the castle walls. I will not be quite as forgiving as I was of your escapades in the past."

…What did that mean?

"I have ways of dealing with stubborn children who live under my roof," Ansem murmured.

Zexy,

Are you coming over after dinner tomorrow? I miss you!

-Dem

Demyx,

Of course.

-Zexion

* * *

Time's up.

* * *

AN: Next chapter is mostly gonna be from Demy's perspective. It's also gonna be longer than usual. Do you want to see it? You know you do.


	17. Goodbyes and Floods

AN: This chapter is a fair bit longer than usual. I doubt that'll make ya'll happy, though. Thanks to Light Within Darkness, terracannon876, luckless-is-me, TransformersFreak01, Sadist Schemer, Yumeoni, blahgirl13, Festival of Asylum, LiteraryMirage, Schizo-of-Destiny, xStillxInxLovex, NiffStral, Danni-la, kawaiikittey, Li the Twilight Knight, Princess of Oblivion, -JansenFriedh827- and Knut Case for reviewing. I can't count all of you on my hands anymore! I've gotta employ my feet too. Thanks to Niffstral for reviewing.

Disclaimer: For one of the last few times, I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Chapter 17: Goodbyes and Floods

Axel,

I have taken the liberty of leaving this note on the leftovers, as I thought you would actually find it in time this way. If you couldn't guess, I'm spending the night at Demyx's, but I didn't need to leave a note to tell you that. Make sure you watch the news in the morning. You may not recognize me at first, as my face will be concealed, but you'll see me.

There's really no point in explaining how it came to this, but you did demand an explanation. It's really very simple. Ansem the Wise decided one day that things must be as they were. He must have his apprentices back with him. In order to accomplish this, he used a variety of methods I won't go into. The point is, I had no choice but to agree. I was given until graduating college to remain free. To ensure that I kept my end of the bargain, my sister took my place in the castle, until the day that I'm finally within it's walls.

I am not a dog; I do not thoughtlessly obey. He may have had the advantage, but I couldn't abide just going through my period of freedom docilely. I became Ienzo. Ultimately, my attempt to prove that I could not be controlled failed. There was only so much that I could do, and beyond a certain point, there would be punishments for my disobedience. You were right when you thought I wouldn't be caught for my crimes, but that was because my fate was already decided.

Please don't try anything stupid. Live your life. I was just your genius college roommate. Don't destroy your future over such an inconsequential person. Thank you for everything. Without your support, I wouldn't be able to go calmly.

Sincerely,

Zexion Ishida

P.S. My sister will arrive in Hollow Bastion sometime in the afternoon, I suspect. Can you take her back to our parents for me? Her name is Xion. She has short black hair and blue eyes.

* * *

The graduation ceremony was short and to the point. If Zexion hadn't felt like a condemned man walking his last few steps, he might have enjoyed it. Afterwards, Demyx and Roxas treated Zexion and Axel to dinner at a reasonably upscale restaurant. Zexion was almost disappointed that he couldn't cook this one last meal. In short, he was getting very cold feet. Not like he could back out, though.

Zexion returned to his bedroom one last time, on the pretense of collecting supplies for spending the night at Demyx's. He carefully folded his letter for Axel and slid it into an envelope, placing it on top of the Tupperware that contained what he'd made for dinner the previous night. Axel was sure to find it during a nighttime food excursion. He headed for the door.

Zexion stopped in the doorway, looking over his shoulder at the home that he knew he would never see again. He didn't feel a great welling up of emotion, as he felt he should have. He felt the same way he'd felt all day: completely numb.

"Goodbye," he whispered to the empty living room, shut the door quietly and set off. No time to waste. Demyx was waiting.

Zexion's last night with Demyx probably bewildered the blond. Zexion was wild with desperation. Reality was setting in fast, and he wanted to memorize every line, every curve, and every freckle on Demyx's body. Forgetting would be inexcusable. By the time they both collapsed with exhaustion, Zexion was doing his best to hold back tears, and he was whispering the same five words over and over into the crook of Demyx's neck: "I love you. I'm sorry." Demyx obviously had no clue why Zexion was so distraught. He asked what was wrong, but Zexion couldn't answer. He couldn't find the words. It was too late for words.

The morning came too quickly. Zexion dressed silently, preferring not to be dragged off naked. He wasn't quite silent enough.

"Going somewhere, Zexy?" Demyx rolled over. He didn't look like he'd just woken up, either.

"Yes."

"And you were gonna leave without saying goodbye?" Those sea green eyes dared him to disagree.

"I thought it would be easier that way," Zexion replied calmly.

Demyx stared at Zexion in shock. "Where are you going?"

And Zexion was cornered. He had to say it.

"Demyx, I'm-"

Then the bedroom door flew open. Too late. They'd come to collect.

In the doorway stood a tallish man with wild red hair tied back in a ponytail, foot raised like he'd just kicked the door open. Behind him stood a petite girl with wavy light brown hair and large brown eyes. Both of them wore black suits, though the man hadn't finished tucking his shirt in.

"The door wasn't locked, asshole," Zexion scolded. "It doesn't even have a lock."

"You could've set up some kind of trap," the man replied carelessly, striding into the room like he owned it.

"Yes, because kicking the door in surely would have disarmed the trap," Zexion replied scathingly. "Couldn't you have done this without causing property damage?"

"You're going to come quietly?" The girl asked with an air of surprise.

"You know that I can't fight, Cissnei. Let's just get this over with."

"What about blondie over there?" The man demanded. "Is he gonna start something?"

"He shouldn't be able to move right now," Zexion replied calmly. Sure enough, when Demyx tried to move, the pain shooting up his back was enough to stop him.

The girl, Cissnei, nodded, and pulled a black bag out of the inside of her jacket. Demyx, recovering from the shock of his apartment being broken into by people that Zexion apparently knew, remembered something that Zexion had once said.

"'Dragged off with a bag over his head…'" Demyx murmured. "'Never to be seen again.'"

"Something like that," the man agreed easily. He turned to Zexion. "You told him what was going to happen?"

"No, actually. You interrupted me, Reno," Zexion replied ruefully.

"We'll give you a minute, if you want," Cissnei offered.

"Thanks." Zexion brushed his hair out of his eyes, locking eyes with Demyx. "Demyx, I love you. I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" Demyx demanded.

Zexion smiled sadly. "I didn't want you to find out. I just wanted you to be happy."

"Find out what?" Demyx thought he knew where this was going, actually. It was everything he'd feared it would be. Oh, why did he have to ask?

"Dem, I'm…" Zexion broke eye contact for a moment. He didn't want Demyx to see how close he was to crying.

"Don't say it!" Demyx was actually crying.

Zexion looked up in shock. "What?"

"I already know," Demyx admitted. "You don't have to say it."

"How long have you known?" Zexion's voice was trembling.

"Ever since I was kidnapped."

Cissnei handed Reno the black bag. Then it was over Zexion's head, covering his wide-eyed expression of shock, and they were leading him away. Demyx couldn't even get out of bed and chase after them. Zexion had seen to that.

* * *

Demyx

I don't think I really heard what Axel said on the phone, except that he was telling me to come over. It took a while to get out of bed and find the painkillers. Oh, and get dressed. I almost forgot to do that. I don't remember how I got there. I know I left, and I know I ended up sitting on their couch. I remember Axel forcing a piece of paper into my hands, and I remember Roxas asking him what the hell was going on. Then Axel turned on the TV.

I remember the top story that day. "Wanted Cyber-Terrorist Ienzo arrested!" They were showing clips of a shortish man with a delicate build and a bag over his head being escorted into the old castle by a short, brown-haired woman, and a tall, red-haired man. I think I just stared at the screen. It was obviously Zexion. Sure, his head was completely covered, but how could anyone not know it was him? His posture was flawlessly straight, his bagged head held high. I think Axel knew right away as well. Roxas caught on without being told.

"Is that-"

"Yeah."

"Is he really-"

"Yeah."

I'm pretty sure that's how the conversation went. Anyway, at some point I actually looked at the piece of paper Axel had given me, and at some point Axel related some of what Zexion had told him in the note that he'd left him. The piece of paper was a note from Zexion, short and to the point.

_Demyx,_

_Forget about me. You'll be better off now._

_-Zexion_

I know that at some point I started crying, and somewhere along the way, that crying became sobbing, until I couldn't see anything around me. I felt hands close around my shoulders, and I thrashed, trying to make them let go. I was moving, away from the couch, and the hands let go after shoving me into a different room and closing the door behind me. I fell onto something soft, and my face was engulfed by something softer, with a very distinct scent. Zexion's scent. My face was buried in Zexion's pillow, and I was lying on Zexion's bed.

I eventually exhausted myself, and fell asleep wrapped in Zexion's scent. I didn't want to leave the room unless I had to. It probably wasn't a healthy way of dealing with things, but I'm not exactly known for dealing with problems in a healthy way, anyway.

During the long hours in that room, some nasty thoughts came into my head, as I remembered some of what Axel had related from the note Zexion had left him. Did Zexion know that this is how it had to end? Would it have been better if we'd never spoken? I wouldn't have gone through this. The weight of all of those happy memories had become a burden, stained with the idea that Zexion had known he would leave me someday. But then I remembered what he'd been like the night before. He was such a mess. He was probably thinking about the same things I'd been thinking about.

At some point in the afternoon, my phone rang. I really didn't want to talk to anyone, but I didn't recognize the number, so I picked up anyway.

"Hello?" Even to my ears, my voice sounded really hoarse.

"Demyx?" The voice was female. It sounded like that girl from before. Um… Cissnei.

"…Who is this?" Gotta check. Stranger danger, and all that.

"It's Cissnei." She sounded really gentle. "You sound awful."

"I wonder why that might be?" I snapped.

Cissnei sighed. "I know. I don't expect you to forgive me for just doing my job, but that's how it is. Reno and I are like Zexion's bodyguards. We follow in the shadows, and make sure that nothing happens to him. But we also had to bring him back. You understand, right? You can't say no, and early retirement is a euphemism for dying on the job."

Why did I feel like I did understand?

"I guess," I muttered. "Is it normal for someone like Zexion to have bodyguards?"

"Yeah. They pretty much get free reign of the castle, so if they're not watched, they could escape or start fights with each other," Cissnei explained. "Zexion's the only one with two of us, though. I was originally the only one assigned to him, but someone suggested that a "little girl" like me could easily be overpowered, even though I've been training for years, and Zexion hates exercise." She sounded bitter. Whoever had questioned her abilities was probably regretting it.

"Why did you call me? Actually, scratch that. How did you get my number?"

Cissnei laughed quietly. I felt a little bit better. Zexion would probably be fine with her watching over him. She really didn't sound like a bad person. "Zexion gave it to me. We're dropping off his sister in the center of town, and he said that you would take care of it. He probably didn't want you moping around."

"How… how is Zexion?"

Cissnei's breath hitched. "He's… fine."

"You're lying." Tell me.

"He hasn't done anything all day," Cissnei whispered. "He's just sitting on his bed and staring into space. He doesn't respond to anything."

That almost sounds worse than me.

"I guess I should go get his sister, then. Where do I take her, though?" I don't even know what world they're from…

"Traverse Town. Her family will meet you at the gummiport there."

It was all set up. I just had to do it. I had one worry though: meeting the family.

"I'm off, then. Bye, Cissnei."

"Bye, Demyx." That wasn't Cissnei's voice. Hoarse, cracked, and definitely male, it didn't belong to the girl that I'd just been talking to.

"Zexion?"

The line went dead. It probably was Zexion. I wonder if he wrestled the phone away from Cissnei, or if she put it up to his ear.

Anywho, I sat up. Then I stood up. Finally, I left the room. Roxas was sitting on the couch in the living room, like he'd been waiting for me. He smiled when he saw me.

"Ready to go?" he asked, ignoring the fact that I probably looked terrible.

"Yeah. Where's Axel?"

"Getting the car ready. We're looking for a 14-year-old girl with short black hair and blue eyes. Her name is Xion."

"She's in the center of town," I murmured. "One of Zexion's bodyguards told me."

"Let's go, then."

The exact center of Hollow Bastion isn't that far from where we started, but Xion could have left the place where they'd dropped her off, so we used Axel's car. Axel and Roxas didn't see her at first, figuring she would have moved. I saw her immediately. She looked scared, sitting all alone in the center of town, but her posture was perfectly straight, and she was staring intently at the road. We were stopped at a stoplight, so I got out of the car and headed toward Xion.

"Demyx, what-" I'm not sure if it was Axel or Roxas who spoke. My head was in a thick fog.

"I'm going to get Xion."

She knew who I was, somehow. When she saw me coming towards her, there was recognition in her eyes.

"Demyx, right?" she asked when I got close enough to hear her quiet voice.

"Yeah, how did you know?"

Xion held up her cellphone. The picture on the display was definitely me. Me sleeping. Probably naked. Then I noticed that her cellphone was actually Zexion's cellphone. He'd just given his sister his cellphone, when there were pictures like that on it? When had he taken that…?

"Brother said that this was you. It is, right?"

"Yeah…" I admitted.

"You look terrible," she informed me, picking her backpack off the ground and slipping her arms through the straps.

"I don't know how you can be so calm."

"I just…" a sad expression flickered across her face. "I just want to go home."

"I'll make sure you get there," I promised.

"Okay."

I promised Cissnei that I would handle it (and it would be more expensive if we all went), so I had Axel and Roxas drop Xion and I off at the Gummiport. When I went to buy the tickets, I discovered there was suddenly a lot more money in my bank account.

"It's brother's," Xion explained. "He gave it to you."

I almost started crying again right there. How did he expect me to forget him this way?

Xion asked me a lot of questions during the flight. Did I love her brother? For how long? When had we met? She was inexhaustible. It reminded me of someone, actually. I won't say whom, but I was feeling less like a zombie by the time we landed. Then we were there. I'd never been to Traverse Town before, and I was there to escort my boyfriend's younger sister back home. Urgh…

And then Xion was running towards a delicate blue-haired woman, who was clearly Zexion's mother in every way. I don't think I've ever seen anyone look happier than she did at that moment. Xion had explained a bit of her situation to me, and I felt for her family. They'd been robbed of their two younger children. At least now they got one back.

Zexion's mother noticed me, and studied me with her eyes. They were the same shade of blue as Zexion's, full of warmth.

"Have you seen my son's other eye?" she asked me cheerfully, without any kind of introduction.

"Y-yeah." What did that mean? "How did you know?"

"Well… a mother always knows," she replied. "And there's a very obvious hickey on your neck."

He left a mark? He never leaves marks…

"How are the two things connected?" I squeaked, trying to cover up the mark.

"Zexion was a very cute little boy. Let's leave it at that." Her eyes widened suddenly. "On closer inspection, your neck is completely covered," she noticed.

My face got hot. Why had no one else pointed it out? Or, wait. Maybe "you look terrible" means "your neck is covered with hickeys."

"Xion, why didn't you tell him?"

"People were staring. I thought he already knew."

Zexion's mom smiled at me kindly. "Why don't you stay the night, um…?"

"Oh, I'm Demyx."

"Demyx. It's nice to meet you." That smile was so much like Zexion's. "You have very honest eyes."

"Um… thank you?"

"Mom, where's Dad?" Xion asked as we made our way to the car.

"He couldn't get off work," she informed Xion regretfully. "But he'll be home in time for dinner."

Xion nodded. The ride home was fairly normal. I didn't say much. Xion didn't either. There wasn't much that we could really say. At some point, Xion started going through the pictures on Zexion's phone.

"…They're all locked," she muttered. "I can only see the one of Demyx."

"What a strange thing to do," her mother murmured. "I wonder why?"

"Do you have any pictures of brother on your phone?" Xion asked me. "I wanted to show Mom what he looks like now."

"I think so…"

I sifted slowly through the pictures on my phone. Truthfully, most of the pictures on it were of Zexion. I got one of him reading (not hard to get), one of him sleeping (pretty hard to get), one of him smiling (frickin' impossible), and a bunch of other random pictures. Which one would his mom like most? …That's a really easy question.

When we stopped at a red light, I showed her the picture of Zexion smiling.

"Oh my," she whispered, her hand covering her mouth. "He became such a handsome young man."

"How did you get a picture of him smiling?" Xion asked. "He always gets stern when he knows he's being photographed."

"Who says he knew that I was taking the picture?" Most of the pictures on my phone were taken with prior knowledge or consent. They wouldn't be good pictures otherwise.

The rest of the ride back was pretty quiet. Xion was trying to crack the password for the locked stuff of Zexion's phone, and her mom was probably still thinking about the picture. From what Xion said, after Zexion graduated high school, he wasn't allowed to visit his parents. It'd been four years since his parents had seen him, and he'd been 14. He'd grown up, and they hadn't been able to see it happen, while I got a front-row seat.

The cats liked me. Way too much. The three of them attached themselves to me pretty much right when I got inside. Zexion's mom laughed, and said they must smell their master on me. I told her that cats don't have masters, just people they tolerate. She laughed again. The cats never left me alone.

Zexion's dad was nice. After hearing about my picture of Zexion smiling, he had to see it too, and it was eventually decided that I somehow had to get the picture off my phone and onto their computer. I'm not as good with technology as Zexion, but I figured it out. How could I bear to disappoint Zexion's family?

Later, Xion gave me one of Zexion's old scarves to wear (to cover up my neck), but when dinner came around I was politely asked to take it off. Zexion's dad took the sight in silently, noticed how completely trashed I looked (my hair hadn't been brushed, washed, or styled in… two days? Almost two days), and asked me some general questions about myself. It's weird to meet your boyfriend's parents without him there. Really weird. Thankfully, I didn't have to endure any safe sex talks (definitely too late anyway).

Xion was sent to bed early, since she'd had a long day, but I really wanted to see Zexion's room. It was probably just as simple as his room in the apartment, but still. It was Zexion's bedroom! I actually got my wish, too. Zexion's mom led me into a small bedroom that I immediately knew wasn't a guest room. Most guest rooms don't have books all over the floor. It was seriously like a sea of books.

"I haven't touched anything in here since he left," she murmured. "But we don't have a guest room, and I thought you wouldn't mind…"

"I definitely do not mind," I assured her quickly. There really is some justice in the world! But there was something that I wanted ask her. "Um…"

"What is it? You can ask me anything."

"Were you surprised?"

"About what?" Her smile reminded me of Zexion when he was being patient with me.

"That Zexion is gay."

"Not at all," she replied cheerfully. "I had my suspicions when he was younger, but they weren't based on anything. Just my intuition. I'm glad that he found someone."

"Even though it couldn't last?" Geez, I sound bitter.

"Do you still love him?"

"Of course!" I waited so long for him… how could I just stop when he goes away?

"Then you'll come together again," she told me confidently. "Kingdom Hearts has that power."

I didn't really believe that, and I think she could tell, but she smiled and left, closing the door behind her. Once I was sure she was gone, I leapt onto the bed, inhaling the scent of the sheets. A bit musty, but completely saturated with Zexion's scent. The scarf Xion had given me was like that too. Such a nice smell…

"Zexion…"

* * *

They made me take the cats with me. Even though they'd been separated from Zexion for so long, they'd been lonely without him, and since we were now in the same situation, it seemed like a good idea for them to come with me. Warm, fuzzy things are comforting, I guess. They did make Gummiport security a hassle, as traveling with animals is always complicated. That, and, as usual, I must really seem suspicious. I always get picked for "random" screenings.

Axel and Roxas picked me up, and that's when I asked them.

"Can I move in with you two?"

"Well, we do need a third person to cover the rent…" Axel admitted sheepishly. "But I'm not sure if we're allowed to have pets in our apartment."

"We are," Roxas chimed in. "I say yes."

"Alrighty then! We'll get you situated in Zex's room."

By the end of the month, all the work that comes with moving was done, and the cats considered themselves the rightful owners of the apartment. I don't mind the little fuzzballs. They crawl into bed with me and keep me warm. They remind me of someone, actually, but I shouldn't say whom.

I don't know why, but I started sending Zexion emails. I know he won't write back, but somehow I feel better after writing them. Zexion, please come back…

* * *

AN: Don't know who Cissnei is? She's a Turk in FFVII: Crisis Core. Don't know why Demyx can't move, and it's somehow Zexion's fault? Please don't ask me. Just think about it. No, he was not injected with some kind of drug. Oh, and new Birth By Sleep pictures have come online, featuring Ienzo! Gaze upon his adorableness. http :// www .khinsider .com /images /BirthBySleep /famitsu_091210_05-06. jpg


	18. White Coats and Droughts

AN: An even longer chapter this time... yet I didn't cover everything that I wanted to. I was torn between getting this out of the way, and including everything that I wanted to. Well, I hope you like the end result. Thanks to NiffStral, Sadist Schemer, -JansenFriedh827-, luckless-is-me, Festival of Asylum, Schizo-of-Destiny, terracannon876, Knut Case, Marisa Tann, Danni-la, Light Within Darkness, Li the Twilight Knight, LiteraryMirage, xStillxInxLovex, blahgirl13 and Chibi StarLyte for reviewing. Thanks to Niffstral for her continued careful betaing. This chapter is all Zexy's PoV, instead of third person. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: There are some members of the Organization that I wouldn't want, even if I did own them. But I don't.

Chapter 18: White Coats and Droughts

They gave me a white lab coat and a new name. I'd been using that name for a while, though, so I guess it's not really new. After they'd finished with me, I shut down. I'd done everything that I needed to do to finish off my old life. Now I could die. Not literally, of course. But I became unresponsive. I didn't want to feel anymore. I didn't want to see, or hear, or taste, or touch… I especially couldn't stand smelling. The part of the old castle that they put me in had a very clean, sterile smell. I hated it. Especially after they took my clothes to be washed, and they came back smelling clean and sterile too.

Xigbar (I'm supposed to call him Braig, but I really don't care) was given the job of searching me for weapons or other objectionable items. All he found was my keys, petroleum jelly (which he chose to interpret as an invitation to grope me) and a dragonfly hair clip. It looked like one that I'd seen on Demyx's nightstand. His sister always sent him hairclips for his birthday. No one knows why. Xigbar let me keep the contents of my pockets, but I got some jibes for the hairclip. I don't know how it ended up in there. Xigbar told me I'd need to wear it if I wanted to work in the lab, because my hair could catch on fire. Bastard. Like I'd do experiments for Ansem.

I couldn't stand to move. When Cissnei showed me into my room, I sat on the bed and just stopped. I don't know how much time passed before I felt something metal press against my ear, and Demyx's voice, hoarse from crying, greeted me. I responded automatically. I shouldn't have. I heard the anguished tone to his voice as he recognized mine, and then Cissnei snapped the phone shut. She'd managed to wake me up. She was forcing me to live again.

I was too weak to be angry with her. I was too weak to tell Reno to fuck off, when he shoved food in my face, though I did when I'd finished eating. Reno is pretty hard to deal with. I really hated smelling, and Reno always smells like cigarettes and hard liquor. I get a sensory overload just having him in the room. And he looks too much like Axel. I really can't handle that.

Reno and Cissnei weren't the ones who came to my house and wrecked everything. I only met them after getting the tattoo. There were other people who had the job of watching me, but they all got fired for losing me. Reno and Cissnei have been trained at too great an expense to be fired for something like that. I really don't know what to think of those two… It's their job to keep me here, and also to protect me. If something happened to one of them, would I care? I don't know. I just want to go home.

* * *

Ansem wanted to see me shortly after he heard that I was no longer a lifeless doll. I really didn't want to go. I'd only seen him in person once before, but I had so many negative feeling associated with the sound of his voice. I was too weak to resist Cissnei taking me by the arm and leading me out of my room. I couldn't smell Reno. He must have been sleeping.

I could smell Ansem from outside of his study. The air was thick with the smell of cigarettes and sea salt ice cream. Disgusting. He was on the fast track to an early death. Not that that was a problem for me. There was no doubt that I'd outlive him. What would that mean, though?

The door opened slowly, admitting me into the sight of Ansem the Wise. He appraised me with the air of an indulgent father. If I'd had the strength, I think an assassination attempt would have been in order. He wrinkled his nose. Oh, you hate my scent too?

"Cissnei, make sure that Ienzo gets clean. He smells like sex." Oh, you know what that smells like? I thought you were a virgin for sure.

Cissnei nodded, and her grip on my arm tightened. I know, I know. Don't do anything stupid. I don't do stupid things.

"How are you adjusting to your new home?" Ansem was looking at me intently. Do I look like I'm adjusting well?

"I've been searched, groped, stripped and force fed," I related calmly. "I've had better first days."

"Cissnei, who groped Ienzo?" Ansem had turned stern. Cissnei was in for it. She was supposed to prevent things like that from happening.

"It was Braig," she told him, completely unfazed. "He was performing the search as ordered, and took exception with one of the items in Ienzo's pockets."

"I see." Ansem sighed. "I suppose I'll have to talk with Tseng."

Tseng is Xigbar's version of Cissnei and Reno. I pity him. He has the most troublesome charge. Cissnei said that Tseng is also the best, though.

"Ienzo. Don't cause trouble like this for Reno and Cissnei." I hated him for the kindness in his eyes. You're not kind at all.

"Of course. I'm not a groping pedophile."

"No, I suppose not," Ansem admitted. "Well, now that you're up and about, you're welcome to do as you please, within reason, of course. The castle is yours to explore."

"Are there… any windows anywhere?" I really wanted to see outside.

Ansem smiled. "Cissnei, why don't you show him the wall after he's gotten cleaned up?"

* * *

I don't want to think about what would have happened if I hadn't told Cissnei that I could clean myself, thank you very much. After that, she took me up on the wall surrounding the castle. It was definitely a sight. The old castle is just outside of the town (on a hill), and from the wall, you can see all of Hollow Bastion laid out beneath you. I could also see why I was allowed up here: there was no chance of escape. The bottom of the wall stood in a deep ravine, and there was nowhere on top on which to tie a rope. There was only one way out: the way I'd come in, and my head had been in a bag at that time.

"How did Xigbar and Vexen manage to escape from here?" I asked Cissnei.

"I don't know," she murmured. "They'd probably be willing to tell you for a price."

"Should you be telling me that?"

Cissnei smiled. "I don't think you're willing to pay the price, or play by their rules."

"Hmph." It's true. I couldn't possibly collude with those two.

"Especially after what they did to-"

"Don't say his name," I interrupted sharply.

"Zexion?" Cissnei was looking at me with concern. Maybe I shouldn't have stopped her.

"It's better if I don't hear his name right now," I murmured.

"Zexion, you're going to have to deal with this at some point," Cissnei scolded. "Just like he's doing right now."

"I don't want to hear that from the person who brought me here."

That shut her up. I don't know how long I stared out at the city. It actually seemed beautiful from here, where I couldn't see the dirt and the Heartless. Like the night that all the lights went out, and I brought them on again…

Not a good train of thought. At some point, I went back inside. The smell of cigarettes and liquor told me that Reno and Cissnei had switched off. Great. Stuck with the asshole.

"Where do I go to get food in this place?" I asked him suddenly.

"Oh, so you're hungry now?"

"Yeah." Shove food down my throat again. I dare you.

Reno led me down a series of twisting hallways, into a bare room, furnished only with a long table, and seven chairs. The only person sitting at the table was Xemnas (though I'm supposed to call him Xehanort), with his guard (Vincent) standing behind him. There was food on the table, though it looked pretty picked over. I was probably the last to show up. Had someone mentioned a planned mealtime?

"The guest of honor should always arrive last," Xemnas announced when I sat down at the end of the table, "but you seem to have missed everyone."

"What are you talking about?" Guest of honor?

"No one told you? To celebrate your arrival, we all ate together, instead of doing so separately. The others got tired of waiting for you."

…That sounds like something that should have come up before.

"Reno?" You have 5 seconds. Go.

"Cissnei told me not to mention it," he explained quickly.

"That explains it," Xemnas replied grandly. It seemed that everything he said was said like a grand pronouncement. Then again, Xemnas had been our leader… I must have respected this man at some point. "I shall tell the others that you meant no disrespect."

I wondered if he was going to do that personally, or leave it to Vincent. From what I'd seen, most communication was conducted between bodyguards. What an unpleasant place. I hadn't felt this cold in a long time. I hate this place.

"Thank you."

I didn't like how Xemnas was looking at me. His orange eyes were unsettling. He let me eat in silence for a while before speaking again.

"Do you know the truth about all of us, Zexion?"

"I thought we weren't to use those names here," I murmured.

"The old fool can't hear us right now," Xemnas replied dismissively. "Now, answer the question."

"I know the truth, Superior."

He smiled. His smile terrified me.

"I trust you discovered it without being told?"

"That is correct."

Reno shifted uncomfortably behind me. He really didn't like this conversation, but he couldn't get involved unless something happened. It probably sounded like a conspiracy to him, but he didn't have to report those.

"I'm glad to hear it," Xemnas declared. "I would have been disappointed if you hadn't understood the situation."

"And what exactly is 'the situation?'"

"The old fool is acting out of nostalgia, and a misplaced desire to prevent a certain tragedy from repeating itself," Xemnas explained. "To him, we're his foolish children who can't survive without him. Somehow, he has learned to manipulate the cycle of rebirth, just to bring all of us into the castle."

"That's…" Without the castle, maybe…

"That's why we must work together, Zexion." His orange eyes were on me again. "Don't you want to be free?"

* * *

I passed the days by wandering. I would pick a passageway, and follow it until I reached the end. In this manner, I found several libraries, the lab (which I deliberately avoided), the main computer room (no internet access), the kitchen, and one of the towers. But no matter how hard I looked, I couldn't find the passageway that I'd seen in my dream. It was probably a real place, since the computer had been real, but I couldn't exactly ask anyone where it was. They didn't need to know that I could access it.

I didn't know what to tell Xemnas. I still had my pride, and it demanded that I find a way out on my own. At the same time, though… can you refuse the Superior? I don't know.

"Ienzo." It was Vexen, with his guard, Elena. I wasn't surprised that he'd gotten away from her. She wasn't very experienced.

"Can I help you, Even?"

He grinned his eye-bulging grin. "Dilan is offended that you haven't come to properly introduce yourself to him. He's the only one, you know, since Aeleus isn't among us."

Ignoring the fact that Xaldin tattooed me, and Aeleus is my brother. In this place, you have to know where you stand in the pecking order, and show respect to everyone above you. Otherwise, bad things could happen. Obviously, I'm at the very bottom of the pecking order. Always have been.

"I would have done so sooner, if I knew where to find Dilan." Sometimes, the only way out is to tell a bold-faced lie.

"In that case, let me take you to him," Vexen offered.

There really was no refusing that offer; it would be an affront to Xaldin. So I went. I properly introduced myself to Xaldin, and gave my excuses. I can't say if he believed me or not. I'm guessing not.

Afterwards, I went to my preferring thinking spot: the wall. No one other than me ever went there, so I was guaranteed to be alone. Unfortunately, Ansem knew that he could find me there, and my pride demanded that I continue my routine undeterred. It was no surprise, then, that he approached me there one day. He didn't say anything at first, just handed me a very weathered portrait. It depicted a child in a white coat, standing next to… Vexen? No, Even. Then the child was… Ienzo?

"A few years before the calamity occurred," Ansem explained. "You were quite young."

"Where did you find this?"

"In a study, in the destroyed part of the castle. I believe it belonged to the original Ansem."

I have to find that study.

"It is difficult to believe that anyone would take on such a young apprentice," I murmured.

"It is not something that could be done rashly. The child in question would have to be truly exceptional, in order to stand on equal ground with far older intellectuals." Yes. Equal ground. Why don't I believe that?

"I wonder if Ienzo came here against his will as well," I spat.

"I'm afraid that's not something that I have any way of knowing anymore." Not that he'd tell me anyway. "But..." Ansem hesistated.

"What?"

"I believe that Ienzo was an orphan, with nowhere else to go. Given the choice between a stable home and starving on the streets, the choice was probably not that difficult for him."

We both stared out at the city for a while in silence. Didn't Ansem have work to do? You know, running a country?

"How is it that you seem to remember more than the rest of us?" I asked him after a while.

"My soul was corrupted by the desire for revenge," he admitted calmly. "I went to Castle Oblivion with the goal of killing you, Even and Aeleus. I hid and protected Sora in the name of revenge against the six of you. I bear some responsibility for your deaths, so my soul is bound to all of yours. Do you understand?"

"You remember more because you have more bonds." I feel like an idiot for not figuring that out on my own.

"Yes. And, as you have learned, once the heart is aware of the fact that it has lived before, it tries to recover feelings that it once had. It becomes difficult to live as you did before you knew," Ansem lamented.

How well I knew that. As long as this castle exists, he will continue to bring us together, in order to fulfill the past desires of his heart. There was only one way out of it.

If I followed through, I would no longer be able to say that I'd never hurt anyone directly.

* * *

Cissnei cheated. One day, three months after being dragged into the castle, she found a way to let me check my email. I had ten minutes, and I couldn't reply to anything. You might think that it was a waste of time. I certainly thought so at the start. After logging in, though, I couldn't think that way. My inbox was flooded with emails from Demyx. He'd sent one a day, almost every day since I'd left. Some of them just said "I love you," or "I miss you," but most of them were longer, and told me what he'd been up to.

_Dear Zexion,_

_I moved in with Axel and Roxas. Oh, and your parents made me take your cats. They stick to me like fuzzy glue. Your parents thought it was because I smelled like you at the time, but I don't anymore, and they still stick to me. I'm not going home to see my parents this summer. Somehow, I can't stand the idea of being in the heat of the Destiny Islands right now._

_Love,_

_Demyx_

_Dear Zexion,_

_Some days, I just can't get out of bed in the morning. I wake up from a dream of being crushed by the waves, and suddenly it's a lot harder to go through the day. All of my dreams lately are about water. I wonder why._

_Love,_

_Demyx_

_Dear Zexion,_

_Axel heard about my dreams, and told me everything. He told me about Kingdom Hearts, and the Organization. He even showed me the chart that you made. Is that why Ansem the Wise wanted you in his castle? Is that why I'm dreaming about water? Is that why…_

_Love,_

Demyx

That one was particularly striking. Had I been dreaming about my element before? Illusion would certainly be harder to detect. By why had the dreams stopped, and why had they started in Demyx? And then there was the fact that Axel had told Demyx. I specifically told him not to. Bastard.

_Dear Zexion,_

_I just remembered that we shared a Paopu. It seems weird that I could have forgotten. It tasted so nasty. I wonder if they really work? I know Axel thinks so, but… It could be that he's just being stalked, ya know?_

_Love,_

Demyx

_Dear Zexion,_

_I thought Axel was being stalked, but he said that his stalker hasn't come around since you told him off last time. I wonder what you must have said to scare off someone like that? Someone who's apparently much taller and stronger than you… Lately, I've been having these weird feelings, like, everyone's talking about me behind my back. But Axel and Roxas are my friends. Where is this feeling coming from?_

_Love,_

_Demyx_

_Dear Zexion,_

_I did something that you might approve of. I researched myself. Well, not myself, literally. I researched the Organization's number IX. I found out a few things, and they make the feelings that I've been having make sense. I was practically useless, and I was the butt of everyone's jokes. You probably would have had nothing to do with me in those days. You've never liked useless people._

_Love,_

_Demyx_

My heart clenched uncomfortably when I read that one. He really didn't need more reasons to be depressed, and I was unconsciously providing them.

_Dear Zexion,_

_I know that you'll probably never see these emails. I know that you'll probably never come back, because Ansem won't let you. I know that no matter how many time I tell you I love you, nothing will change. It'll still be me and your cats in your bed, instead of you and me. The marks you left faded months ago. I take the time to take care of myself. All of us are learning to cook, though we all have our specialties. I can make soups, sauces and pasta, which is all stovetop stuff, while Axel can do anything that doesn't involve the stovetop. Roxas can bake. So don't worry, we're not starving._

_Love,_

_Demyx_

"Sorry Zexion. Time's up." Cissnei's voice surprised me. I'd been caught up in a world that I was no longer part of. "Zexion." Cissnei's voice was gentler this time. "Zexion, you're crying."

I hadn't even noticed the water streaming down my cheeks, but even though I now knew, I couldn't stop it. Cissnei helped me back to my room and into bed, where I could cry undisturbed. She never let me check my email again.

* * *

I have a strong suspicion that I've never once particularly cared for Xigbar. Though he hasn't dared to grope me since that initial incident, he still gets too close for comfort, with an arm around my shoulders, and other such intimate gestures. Such indignities must be borne with, however, if I was ever to learn how he managed to escape, or mastermind those cyber-attacks. I felt certain that he would explain the cyber-attacks at some point. I just had to be patient.

It is exceedingly difficult to be patient with Xigbar. He enjoys popping out of the ventilation shafts, which is, I suspect, how he escaped in the first place. Somehow, Tseng always manages to follow him from below. He's only lost track of his charge once, though that was the time that really mattered.

Eventually, though, I got him to talk (six months after the beginning of my imprisonment). He felt like I deserved the answer now that I'd joined them, and couldn't exactly spill his secret to anyone in the outside world. When Xigbar had decided that I'd waited long enough, he led me through a series of twisting passageways, and onto a part of the wall that couldn't be accessed from the part that I always go to. From there, he led me into a hallway that was very familiar. I'd never actually seen it before, but I knew it from my dreams. It was the partially destroyed hallway that led to a partially destroyed study, through a giant room, and into a computer room. It was all exactly as I'd seen it in my dream. Xigbar navigated the study and located the secret passageway with ease, until the two of us (four if you count our ever-present shadows) were standing in the same room as the computer that I'd been remotely accessing for several months. Xigbar wasn't looking at that, though. His attention was fixed on a strange circular device on the back wall that I hadn't noticed before.

"This is the key," he told me. "This device can turn anything in front of it into data. The room was passed through before can manufacture Heartless, so I made a few, then put them into cyberspace."

"Why did the Heartless do what you wanted?"

"Because, once they're in a computer, they're like any other program," Xigbar explained. "Their code can be edited."

Editing the code of a Heartless doesn't sound feasible. Then again, how else could I explain what Xigbar did? A Heartless wouldn't do what they did without some kind of help.

"Interesting," was all I said to Xigbar's explanation. "Does that study belong to…?"

"The original Ansem the Wise," Xigbar supplied. "The computer is his too."

"Can anyone use the computer?"

"No one knows the password," Xigbar replied mysteriously, "Not even the old man."

Except for me, of course.

"There's a rumor, though," Xigbar continued, "That the computer has some pretty interesting functions. Like a self-destruct sequence for the town, and one for the castle."

Interesting is right. Why would the original Ansem have given his computer such a dangerous function? He had no reason to desire the destruction of the town. Maybe it wasn't Ansem who'd given it that function… Xehanort was a more likely suspect.

Xigbar took me back to my room after that, but the damage had been done. I knew how to get to the computer, and I knew the password. Now, all I needed to know was how to get to the exit, and I could completely destroy this place. Amazing how everything falls into place like that.

* * *

Seven months trapped in the castle. I found a hooded, black coat in my closet. I doubt Ansem is the one who provided it. More likely a gift from Xemnas. He must assume that I've given my tacit consent to his plan of overthrowing Ansem. He couldn't be more wrong. I wouldn't help him. Ever. I want nothing to do with Xemnas, if at all possible.

Eight months trapped in the castle. The only thing keeping me going was the idea that, with one more piece of information, I could be free of this place forever. Keeping Demyx waiting for a year was tolerable. Ten years, and I wouldn't have bothered trying to get out again. He wouldn't still be waiting. But I got lucky. Reno was careless. Taking me to Ansem's study (the current Ansem's study, that is), he led me past the entrance to the castle. He wasn't even aware that he'd done something wrong. But now I know where to go when I make my escape.

Ansem tries to talk to me a lot. Perhaps the others were right. As the youngest and cutest (based on the picture, anyway), Ienzo had wormed his way into Ansem's heart, though that was probably unintentional. He's hurt by the fact that I hate him. Let him suffer. I can't be diplomatic with that man. I was happy before I met him.

"Why do some of us have dreams of our element?" I asked him one day.

"Your element was close to you in your life as a Nobody, and often they would appear in death as well," Ansem began thoughtfully. "I cannot say why they appear for certain, but observation has led me to believe that your elements appear in dreams when there is something missing from your life, and they want you to find it. There is still a great deal that I do not understand about it, however."

That explains why my dreams went away when I met Demyx, though they should have come back by now, shouldn't they have? I suppose Demyx's came to him because he lost me. Axel used to have nightmares before he met Roxas. I guess those make sense now.

"Is that why…?" Why you were interested when my dreams stopped? Why you encouraged me to make up with Demyx? Why you…

"Your element will not lead you astray. Even yours, though it may not have a fixed form. I consider it my duty to encourage you to follow it. It can only do you good," Ansem explained. He was talking to me like I was child. Unappreciated.

Nine months in the castle. I stole Reno's cellphone while he slept, and used it to contact Axel.

_Axel,_

_Do me a favor. I know asking you to start a fire is a lot to ask, but if you do this, I might be able to escape. You know the lawn surrounding the old castle? Set it on fire, in increasingly smaller rings. In three months, I will act, so make it last. Don't let the fires get too out of control. Take Demyx with you._

_-Zexion_

Ten months in the castle. Fires rage outside the castle every night, though the burn is controlled. The culprit has not been discovered, though I stand on the wall each night to watch. Ansem is perplexed that I haven't seen the criminal in action. It's true, unfortunately. Axel and Demyx (and I suspect Roxas as well, given how easily they dispatch the guards every night) have avoided my sight every single time. I don't know how they manage it, but they do. I commend their efforts.

Eleven months in the castle. Ansem has called in the other apprentices to try and catch the fire starters. The steadily advancing flames have him worried, but, try as they might, no one ever catches them in action. I knew I could count on Axel to get the job done. There's no piece more dangerous on a chessboard.

Twelve months in the castle. If the castle doesn't exist, we'll all be free. But I don't care what happens to the rest of them.

_Dear Zexion,_

_I saw you on the castle wall. The moon was out, and the light reflected on your coat. You couldn't see me, I'm guessing. Axel took a lot of precautions so that no one would see us, but I wish you could have. I could tell that you were looking for us. Don't worry. We'll die before we fail you._

_Love,_

_Demyx_

I snapped Reno's phone shut, and slipped it back into his jacket pocket. Cissnei wasn't on duty, and Reno had passed out in a drunken stupor. No one was watching, and it was the middle of the night. I slipped out of bed, tugged on the black coat from Xemnas, and snuck into the hallway. From there, I followed the route to the computer room. I met no one on the wall, or in the passageway. Cissnei was waiting in the study, however.

"I was with you when Xigbar told you what the computer could do," she offered by way of an explanation. "I knew you would try to access it someday."

"But no one knows the password," I countered.

"Except for you. Ansem told us."

Dammit.

"Are you going to stop me?"

Cissnei shook her head. "No. I am going to wake up Reno, then follow you. We're going to escape with you."

"Why?" Why are you letting me go?

"We're just as trapped as you are," she murmured. "Outside, we can protect you, and have our freedom."

"If I escape, I won't need you to protect me anymore," I pointed out, inching towards the secret passage.

"You'll need our help if you don't want to be dragged into a federal prison. We can at least do that much in exchange for our freedom."

"Okay. Go get Reno. I'll meet you near the exit."

Cissnei left in a hurry. I could hardly believe it. I was actually alone. I hurried to the computer, typing in the password as fast as I could.

"Welcome back, Ienzo," Tron greeted me. "What do you require today?"

"I need…" I hesitated. "I need to activate the self-destruct sequence for the castle. But…"

"Are you concerned for my welfare, Ienzo?"

"If the castle is destroyed, you will meet the same fate."

"I am but a common computer program. I may look like one of you users, but I'm not like you. I can be remade once destroyed," Tron explained. "One such as yourself should know that."

"I do know that," I admitted. "But…"

"Ienzo, now is not the time for hesitation or regrets. What is the logical thing to do?"

"Destroy the castle," I answered immediately.

"Is that what you want me to do?"

"Yes."

"You have ten minutes to escape," Tron related. "Better hurry. I've unlocked the main gate."

I ran. Cissnei and Reno met me on the wall.

"We better not be running toward a locked door," Reno warned. For once, he didn't sound all that drunk. Maybe he'd only been pretending to sleep.

...Maybe Reno let me "borrow" his phone all those times.

"I've taken care of it."

We reached the gate. The guards were all still unconscious from that day's fire. As we made our escape, I pulled up the hood on my jacket.

I thought we had more time than we did. Consequently, when we were thrown forward by the force of the explosion, I wasn't expecting it. We were flying through the air. It took so long to hit the ground… too long.

* * *

AN: Cliffie! But it's a good cliffie, right? They DID escape, after all...


	19. Zexion, Demyx, and the Ocean

AN: Another long chapter. This one starts with a letter (the first part of the letter is the envelope), and then switches perspectives a bit. I didn't like how parts of this turned out, but NiffStral didn't say anything, so... I'm going to assume it's fine. IF THERE'S ANYTHING THAT YOU STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND AFTER THIS CHAPTER, TELL ME SO THAT I CAN EXPLAIN IT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER. Thanks to raindrops on roses7, Schizo-of-Destiny, Light Within Darkness, LiteraryMirage, Sadist Schemer (to whom I apologize profusely: I have to take out the period or ffnet deletes your username), luckless-is-me, terracannon876, Yumeoni, NiffStral, Marisa Tann, Li the Twilight Knight(magic bubbles XD), Lolmaster27, Princess of Oblivion, xStillxInxLovex, and Dumb Apple (I get that! I love getting that) for reviewing. Thanks to Niffstral for betaing. Next chapter is the epilogue!

Disclaimer: Once again, I do not own Kingdom Hearts.

Chapter 19: Zexion, Demyx and the Ocean

Riku Gallagher

1213 Ocean Breeze Lane

Main Island, Destiny Islands

Axel Flynn

20 Great Maw Ave. Apt. 68

Central Ring, Hollow Bastion

Axel,

I'm sure you understand the need to use a more secure form of communication than phones (can be tapped), or email (can be intercepted). But the government wouldn't open your mail, especially when it comes from someone who is above suspicion.

This is Zexion, by the way. The name on the envelope belongs to one of the people who found me when I washed up on a beach here. I could have used the name that I use here, I suppose, but they probably would have opened a letter with the name Ienzo on it. Yes, that's right. My name on the Destiny Islands is Ienzo Corazza. Please remember it if you or anyone else intend to contact me. Zexion Ishida doesn't exist anymore. He died in the explosion with the rest of them.

Please be assured that I am alive and well, and that my time as Ienzo the hacker is over. I can only apologize for the trouble and worry that I have caused you. I won't ask you to forgive me. If I know you, you either never will, or you already have.

Sincerely,

Ienzo

* * *

Demyx

I was home before I knew it. I couldn't remember packing or getting on a gummi ship, but I must've done that in order to end up on the main island of the Destiny Islands. I barely waited for Axel to finish reading the letter aloud before I was on my way. I know the name Riku Gallagher, you see. There aren't many people on the Destiny Islands who haven't heard of him. Not after what happened with Mr. Even.

Riku was one of my classmates, and it was his brother that was supposedly stalked by Mr. Even. It was Riku who chose to take action, Riku who produced the proof against Mr. Even, and Riku who made the faces of the Gallagher brothers famous across the islands. If he knew where Zexion was… if it was Riku, then I could probably find Zexion again. That must've been what I was thinking.

Even without the letter to guide me, I knew where Riku lived. Even from the gummiport, I could find it easily. I think desperation was enhancing my memory.

The heat was oppressive, though it was only May. Zexion must hate it here, I thought. He hates extreme temperatures. And humidity. Urgh. The humidity was awful. I must've been sweating bullets by the time I reached Riku's house.

I knocked. A silver-haired man answered the door, and I knew that my memory hadn't betrayed me. It does that sometimes. Recognition dawned in Riku's eyes. He knew me. I don't know how many times he let me punch him, or took a punch to protect me from homophobes.

You know, Riku's eyes are sea green. I feel like Zexion mentioned eyes like his before.

"Demyx? What are you doing here?"

"I'm looking for Ienzo Corazza. A couple of days ago, he sent this letter under your name to Ienzo's old roommate, Axel Flynn," I explained quickly, holding out the letter.

"Yeah, and?" Riku's eyes were hard. "What do you have to do with that?"

"Ienzo is my b-b-b-oy… b-b-b-b-b-oyf-f-f-" I couldn't keep it together with Riku giving me that look. Those eyes were cutting through me. Riku got the picture, though, and stopped looking at me like that.

"I guess you'd better come inside then," Riku decided, his eyes getting softer. He stood aside and let me pass. The instant I was inside, my eyes were searching the room that we were in for any sign of Zexion. Riku noticed. "He doesn't live here. He didn't want to be in my debt."

Sounds like Zexion, right?

"Where is he, then? Please tell me, Riku!"

"I can't do that unless you can prove that he really is your boyfriend," Riku announced, closing the door. Oh, no he didn't! Prove it? How the heck do you prove something like that? You know that I'm gay, Riku. Isn't that enough?

"How can I prove it?" Do tell, oh silver-haired gatekeeper.

Riku thought for a moment. I could tell he was thinking, 'cause his forehead bunched up. "Does Ienzo have any tattoos or piercings?" Oh, Riku was being tricky. At first glance, it's an easy no. Only someone who's seen Zexion naked knows the truth. Wait, Riku saw him naked? I'll kill him!

"He doesn't have any piercings. He has a tattoo on his inner left thigh." Ha! Take that, Riku!

"Of what?" Riku, if you know that, it doesn't really prove much.

"A stylized outline of a heart." And now I win his address, right?

Riku smirked. Oh please, not another test. "I should have figured that you weren't a government agent. They may be desperate, but they still have standards." Ouch. Way to cut straight to the bone. "You know why they'd be after him, right?"

"I'm not a complete idiot, Riku," I snapped. "I know that he was a hacker. I know that he blew up the old castle, and if there were any chance that Zexion Ishida was alive, the factions that are trying to seize control right now would snatch him up, assuming that they know Ienzo's true identity. That's why Zexion is using an alias." Zexion Ishida. The hacker Ienzo. Ienzo Corazza. He has to be Ienzo Corazza now, because it's not safe to be anyone else now.

"I guess I can give you his address," Riku conceded. Finally. "It seems like you know what you're doing." He held out a folded piece of paper. I grabbed it immediately.

"Of course I know what I'm doing," I muttered. "I wouldn't have come here if I didn't." I started back toward the door.

"He probably won't be home right now, though," Riku amended. "He's usually on the small island to the west of here at this time of day."

…The island where I used to sing?

"Riku, who's there?" The voice was unfamiliar, and coming from another room of the house. I turned slowly in its direction, and my eyes met blue. I was suddenly more afraid then I've ever been in my life, including being kidnapped, and having the dying dream. Those eyes… are the ones from my dream! That means…

I ran out of there faster then I've ever run in my life, screaming my head off. I don't think I'll be visiting Riku again. Just a hunch.

I looked over the address. It was for an apartment building on the main island. Well, I wouldn't have to island-hop. It was pretty close, too. I could probably see the building from here, if it was tall enough, but that wasn't my destination.

I started running at some point. People were probably staring at me. I could imagine their thoughts: Who's the weird running guy with the bizarre hair? That would be the idiot whose boyfriend was locked up by the government for a reason that only the boyfriend knows.

I made it to the beach, rented a boat, and started rowing like heck. Every second that I spent away from Zexion was agony. I made it to the dock and jumped out without tying up the boat. I splashed through the shallow waters, seeing only what was directly in front of me. He would be on the beach somewhere. I knew it.

I ran and ran and ran, until I reached the end of the accessible beach line. And there he was, periwinkle hair blowing in the breeze. He was staring out to sea. It reminded me of how he would stare out at the grass, trying to spot us while we committed arson.

"Zexion," I called, my voice cracking. He turned to face me immediately. Then he was moving toward me.

Zexion was taller. His hair was longer. He looked leaner, less… outside-fearing-nerd-like. I saw wiry muscle in his arms. I saw his visible eye cloud over with lust before he brought our lips together. After that… Well, we were naked, with sand _everywhere_. Oh, did I _sing_.

"Zexy," I panted, "did we just have sex on a beach?"

"That is correct. And we're going to again if you can scare off the onlookers," Zexion replied with a raised eyebrow.

No onlookers were going to stop me.

At some point, we put our clothes back on and rowed back to the main island. We didn't really talk on the boat. Zexion didn't want to be overheard. I gotta say, it should be against regulations to have an apartment number 69. Who can look at that number without laughing?

…Zexion probably can. I guess it's good that they gave that apartment to him, then.

When we got inside his apartment, I realized exactly how sandy I was. I was shedding sand all over the floor, and I felt like at some point, Zexy was gonna tell me off. I shuffled into the other room.

"Zexion?" A female voice called.

"…Cissnei?" Why was one of Zexion's guards still around?

Cissnei emerged from the other room. "Demyx?" She smiled. "No wonder Zexion was at the beach for so long."

"Where's Reno?" Zexion asked impassively.

"Shopping for dinner," Cissnei replied easily. "I should call him and tell him that there's another mouth to feed."

At some point, an explanation would be nice.

"You mind if I take a shower, Zexy? I'm all sandy from the beach."

"Go right ahead." He directed me toward the bathroom. "Actually, I'll-" Zexion began, before Cissnei grabbed his arm and held him back.

"Go enjoy your shower, Demyx," she told me with a smile. To Zexion, she whispered: "We need to have a chat first."

…What had Zexion been about to say before she interrupted him?

"You need to figure out what you're going to tell him," was the last thing I heard before the door closed behind me.

…Maybe I should have called first. By coming here, I could be exposing Zexion to danger. Sure, no bodies have been found at the explosion site, but that just means that Ansem might be able to come after Zexion again. If Zexion were a murderer, he'd be safer right now, because all of the people who know his identity would be dead. But… no one's been recovered from the wreckage. Did they know it was going to happen?

When I emerged from the bathroom, Zexion was sitting on the couch, his back perfectly straight, but relaxed somehow. Cissnei was perched daintily on an armchair, and the rustling in the kitchen told me that Reno was back. When Zexion saw me, he patted the spot next to him on the couch, and I sat down awkwardly. Electricity shot through my body when I felt Zexion's hand take me, and lace our fingers together. Had he done that before?

I felt Cissnei's eyes on me before I saw them.

"Zexion really missed you," she explained. "He wouldn't even let us say your name. He was afraid-"

"That's enough, Cissnei," Zexion interrupted sharply. "Demyx, I trust you have a basic understanding of the current situation?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Assuming that you're the one who blew up the castle, I can guess why you're hiding out. But why do you still have bodyguards?"

"They helped me escape, and made it possible for me to plan the escape. Consequently, Reno and Cissnei have as much to lose from being found as I do, if not more, because their organization knows that they exist, while only a select few knew who I was." Zexion explained it all calmly, but the hand that held mine was trembling. He was so afraid of going back, even though the castle was gone. I couldn't help but tighten my grip.

"Technically speaking," Cissnei began, "If we are found, and found with Zexion, Reno and I can't be punished, because we're just doing our job, regardless of the circumstances."

"So this works out for everyone," I murmured. "But how did you end up in the Destiny Islands in the first place?"

Zexion and Cissnei both looked puzzled.

"We haven't figured that out," Zexion admitted. "In the past, certain individuals could travel between worlds using the corridors of darkness, and others were able to open the door to light. I'm not certain if that's what happened, or if there's another phenomenon at work here that I don't know about."

"We decided not to worry about it too much," Cissnei supplied. "Because, one way or another, here we are."

I nodded, and didn't say anything for a while. I wanted to ask Zexion why Riku had seen his tattoo, but his hand was still cold and shaky. I didn't want to be any trouble. But… I can't keep anything from Zexion. He was watching me. He could tell that there was still something on my mind.

"Dem." I looked up. Zexion almost never shortened my name. "You're stilling worrying about something."

"It's nothing," I muttered.

"Demyx, you're a terrible liar."

"Just like you."

Zexion smirked. "I suppose so. Now, tell me what the problem is."

"…Why has Riku seen your tattoo?" I asked quietly.

Zexion and Cissnei shared another puzzled expression.

"He's seen it?"

"He knew what it looked like, anyway."

"It must have been when we first arrived here," Zexion murmured thoughtfully. "We were not uninjured from the blast, and lost consciousness upon arrival. We woke up in Riku's home, with our injuries being tended to." Zexion smirked. "You thought I cheated on you? With Riku?" He laughed. "He's not my type at all."

I felt my face get hot. "I didn't think you would wait for me."

Zexion squeezed my hand. "I felt the same way. I didn't want you to stop living because of me. I decided that if it took me more than a year to escape, I wouldn't bother. I thought you would be better off without me. I didn't want you to wait."

"How could I not?" I squeaked. "I waited for two years just to talk to you! I could wait longer to get you back again."

"Idiot," Zexion whispered, pulling me onto his lap. "What would you have done if I weren't a genius?"

"Come up with my own plan to get you out!"

Zexion chuckled into my hair, which was, again, not styled. I'd been in too much of a hurry. At some point, Cissnei had left the room, which was probably good for everyone, since I soon found myself pinned to the couch. A year of celibacy had obviously not been kind.

"I could have lived without you," he murmured afterwards, " If not for that groping pervert. He made me remember and think about what I had lost. I was disgusted with myself. It was so easy before, you know. Love was such a distant concept; it was something that didn't have anything to do with me. Sex as well. Once you entered my life, I suddenly couldn't live without seeing you. I needed to hold you, and be held by you, and it was impossible." He sighed. "I feel like a dog in heat."

"You're 19, Zexy. There's not much of a difference."

"How very comforting."

"Are you two done in there?" Reno poked his head out of the kitchen door. "Dinner's ready."

I blushed. It's too easy to forget that you're not alone.

"Get your clothes back on and come eat!" Cissnei called from the other room.

"Yes, ma'am," Zexion and I replied, separating reluctantly.

* * *

"I'm moving in with you," I declared after dinner. "I graduated college, so there's nothing keeping me in Hollow Bastion anymore."

"Demyx, anyone who knows who I really am also knows about you," Zexion explained. "It's dangerous for you to be around."

"I can move back home with my parents, or freeload off my sister, but I'm not going back to Hollow Bastion. The Destiny Islands are my home," I countered. "There's nothing weird about me being on the Islands."

"Still, it would probably be better if you avoided us. If someone were to connect the two of us, I would be found out."

"Hey, you're the one who mauled me on the beach. Take some responsibility!"

Cissnei looked troubled. "Actually, Demyx has a point. You very publicly declared that there is a connection between Ienzo Corazza and Demyx O'Donahue," she pointed out. "There's no point in trying to deny it, after what you did."

Zexion stiffened in shock. He stared blankly at the wall. I think it was a little much for Zexy to realize that it was his fault. Something was actually his fault. The world must be ending!

"I guess…" he began softly, "You can move in if you want."

Ill-gotten gains are the best kind.

* * *

"Ansem the Wise was found and pulled from the wreckage of the old castle early this morning. He was quickly transported to Great Maw Area Hospital, and has not awakened, though his condition has stabilized. No other survivors of the explosion have been found, and though witnesses say that three people plunged into the ravine, no bodies have been recovered. This is Yu-"

"This is the moment of truth," Zexion murmured. "He is alive. If he awakens, what he does after that will determine how long we have to hide."

"I don't think he's going to come after you," I stated confidently.

"Why do you think that?"

"It's too much of a risk. You blew up his castle. Obviously, you're not safe to have around."

"He could still throw me in jail," Zexion pointed out.

"He could. But he won't." Probably.

Zexion chuckled. "Let's hope you're right."

* * *

Zexion was scared. So scared. He'd never show it to anyone other than me. I shouldn't have been, but I was. I had him back, and he was never going to leave.

* * *

"Late last night, Ansem the Wise regained consciousness, putting to rest concerns that he would remain asleep for the rest of his life. Upon waking, he demanded the chance to address the nation on live television. His talk is scheduled for-"

"I wasn't expecting him to act so quickly," Cissnei admitted. "I wonder what's so urgent."

"His health must be worse than they're letting on," Zexion muttered. "There's something he wants to say before he dies."

"I guess that makes sense," I agreed. "He was trapped inside the wreckage for a week before he was found. A healthy person wouldn't get out of that without some kind of side effect."

Reno and Cissnei exchanged a glance.

"What?" Zexion asked, noticing.

"When we fell, we ended up here, instead of at the bottom of the gorge," Reno began thoughtfully. "What if something similar happened to the others?"

"Why would Ansem be the only one who wasn't sent to another world?" I asked curiously.

"Perhaps he'll tell us himself." Zexion's tone declared the subject closed. Hurry up and talk, Ansem…

* * *

I know the truth about all of us. Reno and Cissnei don't, and Zexion wants to keep it that way. They don't know why Ansem pursued Zexion, why he couldn't let him go. They don't know why he'll sometimes say things that don't make sense, and I'll cover for him. It hurts him, but it doesn't hurt me. I used to be a heartless creature, one who could laugh in the face of other's deaths. I never knew how to act. It was such a pain. I didn't have to think when I was playing music. I didn't have to worry about how to behave. Sometimes I wonder if I've changed at all since then.

* * *

"I would like to begin with a message to one of the criminals who was under my care," Ansem declared calmly, propped in bed and staring straight at the camera. He smiled. "Thank you, Ienzo. You have done me a great service."

There was a lot of whispering. The people behind the camera probably didn't know what to make of what he'd said. Zexion didn't seem to either.

"By destroying the castle," Ansem continued, "you have freed me from the chains of memories that bound me."

There was an audible gasp. Zexion was still staring blankly at the screen.

"Yes, that's right," Ansem addressed the onlookers. "It was Ienzo, the famed cyber-terrorist, who caused the explosion. But because no one was harmed" -Ansem's doctor coughed- "I am willing to overlook this incident. I am giving you a full pardon, Ienzo." There was something sad about that smile. "Live the life that you would have had if I hadn't gotten involved. Anyone who tries to prevent that will answer to me. To the two that follow you, they are welcome to do as they will. They can return, or go back to a normal life."

* * *

Miles away, Axel unleashed a string of obscenities at his television. Something about being a condescending fucktard. Roxas had a choice, between ice cream and lover. Roxas could never be expected to choose between the two. Axel's obscenities were quieted by Roxas's most effective one-two punch: injunction by ice cream, followed by a good old-fashioned lip-sealing kiss. Axel never stood a chance. Zexion would later feel his couch-cushion burning senses tingling.

* * *

The silence in the living room was heavy. We were waiting to see how Zexion would react, but he was frozen, having not moved at all since Ansem had started talking.

"This will be my final act as the president of Neo Radiant Garden," Ansem announced. "I am retiring from public life. I will leave running the country to younger, more capable souls."

Still not a twitch. Did Zexion turn his brain off?

"To the other four that were kept in the castle…" Ansem continued, no longer addressing Zexion. "Run." Ansem's eyes had a dangerous glint. "Hope that you're never found."

The rest of Ansem's talk was about the state of Neo Radiant Garden, and the loss of an old symbol (the castle). We didn't watch it.

"Was it really that simple?" Zexion's voice was weak. "After all that, and he gives me a full pardon?" His eyes were hard. "Don't make me laugh," he spat. "It's not like I did it for you."

Reno and Cissnei had left the room without me noticing. I could see why they would… The air felt poisonous. It seemed like at any moment, Zexion would start throwing things.

"To have him thank me like that…"

"Zexion…" I began softly, not knowing what else to say.

"I hated him. Not a moment passed that I didn't want him dead." Zexion's eyes were full of killing intent. "And then he forgave me. _He_ forgave _me_! When he's the one who has always been in the wrong!"

"Zexion, he wasn't-"

"What is a pardon, if not forgiveness?" Zexion demanded.

"It was an apology."

Zexion actually met my eyes when I said that. "What?"

"He was apologizing for all the things that he's done to you. Because of you, he realized exactly how cruel he's been," I explained passionately. "Maybe it can't make up for it, but he's trying to apologize, because he…" I hesitated. "Ansem cares about you. He didn't want to hurt you, but at the same time, he felt like if he didn't hurt you now, something worse would happen later!"

Zexion stared at me. "Demyx…"

"We can't control the fears that the knowledge of our pasts bring us," I murmured. "You set him free from those fears. He wanted you to know how much you'd helped him by hating him. If you hadn't hated him, after all he'd done, maybe all of you would still be there, bound by the chains of your memories."

Zexion smiled. "How is it that you know all of this?"

"It's… just a feeling."

He laughed. "That's the trouble with having hearts. They come with all of these inexplicable 'feelings.'"

"I think this one has less to do with having a heart, and more to do with knowing that I've lived before," I murmured glumly.

Zexion's smile faded. "Perhaps you're right."

* * *

Zexion

We went back to Hollow Bastion, back to the apartment where Axel and Roxas waited with three excitable cats. Vexen appeared our first night back. His design? Simple. Kill Axel. Vexen too was bound by memory's chains. He found himself flat on his back, pinned by twin keyblades and a murderous blue stare. I believe I have said it before: there is no one deadlier than Roxas. Vexen wisely fled. Unwisely, he went after his replica. Vexen's body was discovered 20 miles offshore. There were cuts all over his body, as if from some kind of sword. He'd been dead for a week. Elena was never found.

That incident prompted a brief return to the Destiny Islands, so that Demyx could attend the funeral (I don't know why he wanted to), and visit his family.

…I think I will avoid his family in the future. Larxene threatened me with disembowelment and castration. Presently, I cannot decide which would be worse.

She knew who I was immediately. Of course she did. She knows all about Organization XIII, and Kingdom Hearts. She must have been afraid when she saw me with him: afraid that Demyx had become one of my chess pieces. I suppose I'm lucky I don't play chess anymore.

"Demyx," she'd said, "Get away from him."

Demyx didn't understand at first. He didn't realize that his sister knew the truth.

"Larxene, what's wrong?" He'd asked, moving closer to me.

"I don't have time to explain," she'd said impatiently. One of her hair clips had a strangely metallic glint.

…Does she wear knives in her hair?

"Well, you'd better make time," Demyx had replied. "Zexion is my boyfriend. You can't hurt him without some kind of explanation."

I remember clearly Larxene's expression of shock as she looked back and forth between the two of us. She uttered a number of nonsense syllables before she was able to speak coherently.

"Dem… is this the guy?"

"Uh-huh."

A yellow eyebrow shot up, and Larxene's eyes dug into my forehead.

"Did you at least wait until he was legal?"

"Of course!" Demyx sounded offended. "He's 19, you know."

"He was 15 when you started looking at him," Larxene pointed out. I shivered unconsciously.

Later, Larxene took me aside, to make the aforementioned threats. Her threats were dependant on my hurting Demyx in some way. I'm grateful to Demyx for not going home during the year that I was gone. Otherwise, Larxene would have been feasting on my intestines, instead of merely threatening to.

…She really is a savage nymph. How is Demyx still alive…?

Anyway. Cissnei and Reno left. I don't know where they went. They could have gone back to Ansem, for all I know. I woke up one morning and they were gone, like they never existed in the first place. They're much better at that than I am.

Lexaeus was finally allowed to return home from his tour of duty. I met him at the airport. It was important that I confirm whether or not Lexaeus was a member of the "I have blackmail material" club. As it happens, he was. He'd had the unfortunate pleasure of working with Xaldin some years ago. I wanted to ask him if he blamed me. Lingering resentment is more than common among our number, after all. Lexaeus gave me a ghost of a smile, ruffled my hair, and that was it.

"Why would he resent you?" Demyx had asked me. "He wanted to protect you. He probably felt bad about failing."

I still wonder how Demyx can be so calm about all of this. He just accepts it, as if it's normal.

…But then, I suppose it is. The only difference is that we remember. More accurately, our hearts remember. They don't really share. They just drag us around, forcing us to act on their whims.

Speaking of whims, I discovered something about Xion. She's not actually the same Xion as before. Kingdom Hearts is lazy, apparently, and uses pre-existing designs when fashioning new hearts. It seems… wrong, somehow, to talk about a heart-shaped moon having moods and quirks, but… it's made up of hearts. Once you think about that, it makes… far too much sense.

Xemnas approached us with a proposition. But I can't think about such things at the moment. My future is still up in the air. Why?

I'm going back to school.

* * *

Looks like his summer vacation is over.

….Lolololol.

AN: I left Niffstral's comment intact, just 'cause. Please review?


	20. Epilogue: Hell and High Water

AN: I have quite a bit to say in the closing author's note, so I'll keep this short. First off, thanks to all of my silent readers. I know you're there. Thank you for being there. Your presence is comforting, to say the least. Thanks to Danni-la, Light Within Darkness, Sadist Schemer, terracannon876, Schizo-of-Destiny, luckless-is-me, LiteraryMirage, Li the Twilight Knight (especially for reminding me that you guys have a very deep-seated hatred for Ansem/DiZ), xStillxInxLovex, -JansenFriedh827-, Princess of Oblivion, DejiNekoChan, Lolmaster27, hollywood-135, Aindel S. Druida, blahgirl13, Dumb Apple, Marisa Tann, NiffStral, Yumeoni, raindrops on roses7, Chibi StarLyte, Knut Case, Festival of Asylum, kawaiikittey, TransformersFreak01, Ginri, otaku-michiyo, Zenxara, Chubby-King-Chocobo, musiclover1933, SkoRn3d, hearts are for losers, Finale Di Amore, and Oblivion96646 for reviewing at some point during the process.

That should be everyone that's ever reviewed... Props to Luckless-is-me, who's been reading since the beginning, and has reviewed every single chapter as it's come out. You were once one of four, and now look! Thank you so much, guys. It's really meant a lot to me to have your input throughout. If I had 50 yen everytime one of you said that this had made your day... I'd be able to buy a soda out of a japanese vending machine. An expensive soda. My Pepsi Nex Zero! Come back to me! *cough* Anyway, yeah. You guys make this all worth it. I used to be an average Akuroku writer, but you guys have made me something better: a slightly above average Zemyx writer. Many thanks to Niffstral, for neglecting Calculus to edit my chapters. If you hadn't been there for chapter 2, there would have been some problems. Now, enjoy the epilogue!

**Edit**

My sister drew cyberpunk Zexion. He looks amazing. Check it out. http:// kingofthieves. deviantart .com/art/KH-Cyberspace-Invader-148704330

Disclaimer: For the last time in this story, I have to say it. I simply don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Epilogue: Hell and High Water

Ansem called me for the last time once he got out of the hospital. I'm not sure that how he knew that I'd just gotten my phone back from Xion. He must still be watching me. He didn't say much in his call. He wanted to know what my plans were, and assured me that he would finance my continued education. It's hard to refuse a blank check.

He couldn't or wouldn't explain what happened after the explosion (why we all went to different worlds, but he didn't, etc). He probably knows what happened, but I'm better off not knowing. If we really did open portals of darkness, it would be unwise to do so again. As Ansem himself once wrote, "Darkness erodes the heart."

Ansem did not thank me again, nor did he offer any kind of apology. The last words he said to me were "Goodbye, Zexion." At that moment, before we both hung up, I felt like everything had been said that needed to be said. My life was irrevocably changed, but… that was how it was supposed to be. Ienzo, and the weight of the past, had been removed. My hatred was gone. What remained was pity: pity for a man who had been drawn in by the past, and couldn't let it go. I might have ended up the same way.

I spent several months attempting to remake Tron on my own computer. I don't know why. The Tron that had existed longer than the idea of a country of worlds would never exist again. Why should I feel bad about what happened to a computer program? Programs are always edited, and changed beyond recognition. I suppose, I must have been feeling sentimental. I'll always have a soft spot for talking computer programs.

For a while, we are all adrift. The only real proof of our identities had been destroyed along with the computer. Where could we go from there? The answer is simple, as it frequently happens to be.

There's nowhere to go but up.

* * *

"Settle down, class." The silence was almost instantaneous. He couldn't help but smile slightly at how quickly they learned. "Can any of you tell me what class this is?"

Not a trick question. He just wanted to see if they knew what they'd signed up for. Nevertheless, most of the girls exchanged glances silently, knowing better than to speak up. It was a red-haired girl that finally broke the silence by saying "World History."

A sharp blue eye met her softer ones. "And what do you suppose you'll be learning in World History?"

"…The history of the worlds?" The giggling that arose as a result of her statement was silenced by the piercing blue glare.

"What is your name?" Once again, not a trick question by any means.

The redhead met his eyes confidently. "Kairi Uchida."

He glanced down at the roster. "Kairi Uchida…" He made a mark on the paper next to her name. "Children, I do not ask trick questions. If I ask a question, you will answer it honestly. Remember, if a question seems like it has a simple answer, it probably does. Miss Uchida is the only one of you ladies to prove to me that she understands this. Try to let go of your cynicism, and perhaps the rest of you will join her."

What exactly do you say to that?

"History is a subject about which many are cynical," he continued calmly. "History may written by the winners, but that doesn't necessarily invalidate its value, or its truth. Now, shall we begin?" Twenty-five heads nodded frantically. "Good. Whether we are in the classroom or not, you will address me as Mr. Ishida. Not "Mr. I." Not "Zexion." Not, Kingdom Hearts forbid…" Zexion shuddered visibly, "A nickname of any kind." The wheels were already turning in the minds of those pubescent girls. There was only really one possible nickname that could cause such a reaction, with a first name like Zexion.

"ZEXY!" And Demyx had just screamed it in front of the people that Zexion had gone to a great deal of trouble trying to teach to fear and/or respect him.

…Zexion felt his aneurism coming on.

All eyes in the room turned to the much too cheerful blond standing in the doorway, and Demyx realized that they had company. He scratched his head and came inside. "Sorry about that," he murmured. "I didn't think you had a class."

"And I still have one," Zexion pointed out irritably. "You can harass me when it's over."

"But I wanna harass you now," Demyx complained, trying to hug Zexion. For reasons more of propriety than of displeasure, Zexion dodged. Twenty-five girls watched in awe. One of them started drawing.

Zexion sensed his fear factor flying out the window. He could feel it, like he could feel the time coming for another couch-cushion burning. He had to act.

"Demyx, this is why the other schools "didn't need someone with my skill set,"" Zexion hissed, trying to make the bored blond retreat. However, someone other than the intended target heard him.

"What do you mean, Mr. Ishida?" A girl in the back row asked innocently.

"He's gay," the drawing girl replied calmly. "The blond man is his lover."

There would be no point in denying it. It was probably better off that the girls knew exactly how ineffectual their attempts to flirt their way out of a bad grade would be.

…And then he caught of glimpse of what the drawing girl was drawing. How did she draw something so… pornographic, so quickly?

"You." Zexion pointed at Demyx. "If you don't have a class, go teach the girls smoking across the street how to sing a round." Never one to refuse a music-related order, Demyx complied. "You." He pointed at the drawing girl. "Don't… show that to anyone."

"Okay," she replied calmly.

She kept her word. But… it was already too late. Miss Naminè Snow's comment was all it took. Zexion never had to worry about controlling his classes with fear: a much more powerful force was at work (*cough*Fanclub*cough*).

Zexion cursed Kingdom Hearts and its cruel wiles, when really, he should have been cursing Demyx, who was simply too lazy to be discreet about their relationship. Axel would later call Demyx the master of "Selective Sloth."

Zexion was never called "Mr. Ishida" by a student again.

* * *

"So, Zex, how was your first day as official teacher?" Axel asked innocently, ignoring the warning look from Demyx. A cold blue eye met his green ones, and Axel thought he saw his life flashing before his eyes.

"I'd rather not discuss it," Zexion replied stiffly, withdrawing his death glare.

"That bad, huh," Axel murmured, forgetting that he was supposed to shut the hell up. Three pairs of eyes staring him down reminded him, and he mimed zipping his mouth shut.

"It's Demyx's fault, right?" Roxas asked calmly, ignoring the look that Axel gave him.

"Uh-huh," Demyx whimpered piteously. "I couldn't help it," he whined. "I saw Zexy in his glasses, and I-"

"Hold up," Axel interrupted. "Glasses?"

Zexion coughed, his cheeks turning pink. "I need them to read."

"He's lying," Demyx whined. "He just wears them to look more "scholarly.""

"Oh yes, let's just ignore the fact that you have a glasses fetish," Zexion hissed. "Mature, as always."

Axel coughed. "Are Demyx's fetishes appropriate dinner conversation?"

Three pairs of eyes turned on him. "You started it!"

* * *

"Zexy?" Demyx asked over breakfast one day (they had to get up the earliest, so Axel and Roxas were still dead to the world).

"Yes?" Zexion glanced up briefly from his cereal before ascertaining that Demyx wasn't trying to show him something.

"I know it's been a long time since this happened, but I've always wanted to ask…" Demyx hesitated. "Was it weird meeting Riku? He was the one that-"

"He wasn't the one who killed me, Demyx," Zexion interrupted. "It was the one he calls his brother, the Riku Replica. History makes no mention of him, because he was less than a Nobody. The creation of one who does not exist cannot exist either."

"Riku… Replica?"

"Made by Vexen," Zexion supplied. "He made others, with somewhat mixed success."

"But then… why is there a Riku Replica now? Is he… real now?" Demyx really didn't know how to ask that.

Zexion snorted. "He's as much of a replica as he was before. Like Pinnochio, he still dreams of being a real boy. That's why he ran from Vexen and found Riku."

"So… wait. Vexen made him again?"

Zexion sighed irritably. "That is what I've been saying. Vexen made him. He escaped, and found the person he was based on. Several forged documents later, and "Kiru" is a member of the Gallagher family. It's not all that surprising that they pulled off such an elaborate hoax," Zexion observed with some amusement, "given the identity of Riku's father."

"Who's his… oh." Demyx knew. Riku's father was influential on the Destiny Islands. Frighteningly so. "So, it wasn't weird meeting Riku, then?"

Zexion chuckled and Demyx's refusal to drop the subject. "No, it wasn't. Even if I had met his replica, it would have been no different. A being more lowly than a Nobody cannot be blamed for trying to become whole," Zexion explained. "He thought he would become real if he killed me. Axel's nonsense. You cannot become something by destroying nothing."

"But you don't blame Axel either." That was a weird thought for Demyx. His reaction upon seeing his killer had been… less than manly.

"Among Nobodies, nothing is personal, Demyx. You cannot form a grudge when you cannot feel hatred. I am grateful, rather, that I was killed by those who could not truly feel dislike or contempt for me."

"You're really grateful for something like that?" Demyx asked disbelievingly.

"Yes. It's better that way." Zexion's tone declared the subject closed.

Demyx remembered the blue eyes staring at him, hating him just for being there. "Just because I don't have a heart… that doesn't mean that I won't die when you kill me," Demyx murmured absently.

Zexion chuckled softly.

"What?" Demyx demanded.

"When you learned that the entire Castle Oblivion team had been killed, you laughed. You and Xigbar told Roxas that Axel was probably dead, while laughing." Zexion's tone lacked any obvious emotion. "I'm glad to see that your way of thinking has changed."

Demyx felt inexplicably cold. "But… weren't you in Castle Oblivion? How would you know what I did after you died?"

"I went to Castle Oblivion last year." Zexion replied tonelessly. "It hasn't changed. It still reflects the memories of those who enter it. I was able… to learn some things."

"I thought you didn't want to learn any more about before?"

"I…" Zexion stared blankly at the wall. "I thought if I saw the place where I had died, I might have an easier time letting go."

"Have you?" Demyx doubted it.

Zexion smirked. "When Axel found out that I'd gone there, he tried to burn the place down. Needless to say, he wasn't successful. Castle Oblivion holds many secrets. I'm content with letting them remain undiscovered."

"How did you even find it, though? It's almost impossible to get to The World Between Worlds!"

Zexion's expression became conspiratorial. "That, Demyx, is a secret."

* * *

The all-girls school that had foolishly employed Zexion and Demyx (Princesses of Heart Academy- the name made Axel gag every time he heard it) was not the only school that would hire them. Zexion chose it because the ideology behind the teachings was compatible with his: to create good citizens of the worlds, who embrace tolerance and understanding. With an emphasis on these citizens being girls, of course. Many schools might preach a similar message, but Zexion felt the need to focus on it with girls. As a man with a younger sister who'd spend four years of her life imprisoned, the brotherly side of Zexion ached when he saw young women shutting up and taking it. He wanted to give them the tools to be successful. Such thoughts tend to create good teachers.

It is with these thoughts that he embarked on the journey that is teaching the history of various worlds. It doesn't help that a lot of the "facts" are utterly unsubstantiated.

"Now," Zexion began one day, "Are there any among you who can relate the story of the separation of the worlds?" A hand went up. "Miss Snow."

"In the beginning, the worlds were all one," Naminè began. "At some point, they broke apart, and became completely disconnected. Later, they became connected again, though they never became one again."

"Thank you for that… bare bones explanation."

"But that's all anyone can prove, isn't it?" A brown haired girl piped up. "No one knows exactly how or why the worlds separated and came back together."

"Do you really believe that?" Zexion stared the green-eyed girl down.

"Well… When people tell the story, they say that it was magic, but-"

"But, nothing," Zexion interrupted. "There are a number of things that relate to the worlds that can't be explained scientifically. It is undeniable that "magic," or what passes for it, existed in the world at some point."

All twenty-five girls deadpanned. A new record.

"I'm a history teacher, not a science teacher," Zexion continued, undeterred. "If the history books say that a magical weapon that looks like a key was used to save the worlds from destruction, who am I to disagree, until someone proves otherwise?"

Those twenty-five girls always had a lot to think about after Zexion's class. It was an uphill battle, trying to restore childlike willingness to believe in teenage girls. Zexion hoped that at least Naminè believed him. Then again, she had no reason to. Like Roxas, she hadn't truly been killed while she was a Nobody. She would remember nothing out of the ordinary. That was probably for the best.

…Demyx had taken to buying Naminè's drawings. Oh, the aneurisms Zexion had to look forward to.

* * *

Becoming a history teacher was the result of Xemnas's proposition(a proposition that didn't involve Xigbar or Xaldin, as they were still wanted by the government). Xemnas believed that the increased birth rate, and the relatively low life expectancy were the cause of Kingdom Heart's speeding up the process of creating new hearts, and if the proper steps were taken, the process could be slowed down, or even stopped all together. Education being the first step, Zexion went and got himself certified to teach. World History being a fairly influential subject, he thought it the best subject to pursue. Xemnas set up a foundation with a puppet leader (you've got seven guesses who, and the first six don't count) in order to further this aim.

Had Organization XIII been reborn as a propaganda agency? Not really. Demyx somehow scraped his way through "teacher school" to become a music teacher, Axel was employed by the government as an engineering consultant, and Roxas… Roxas… Roxas attained brief pop music glory, until he tired of whoring himself out to 12-year-old girls. He made enough money in that time to buy out all of Radiant Garden's politicians, but instead of spending that money on a lifetime supply of sea salt ice cream, he _did_ buy out the politicians.

Guess what things are now illegal in Radiant Garden? The list includes using the phrase "got it memorized" in public.

As for what Roxas bribed those politicians into legalizing, well… let's just say that rings and white dresses are involved. Roxas refuses to admit that he had another last name before he became Roxas Flynn. Axel happily agrees.

* * *

Demyx was a popular teacher. Music teachers generally are, unless they're complete assholes. Demyx's general laziness only helped. True, music was one of the two subjects about with he was passionate (the other being "Sexy Zexy," "Smexion," etc), but true musicians are not born by being forced to play. They must enjoy their craft, and devote themselves to it. Demyx knew that (from experience), and so tried to make his classes as low pressure and as fun as possible. His students are encouraged to call him by his first name, because "Mr. O'Donahue is my sister." Demyx realized after an awkward silence fell that he probably shouldn't have said something so… possible. And that was how Demyx's students learned that the filter between his brain and his mouth frequently malfunctioned.

He was like them, they realized. Fallible, but he'd gotten a teaching license anyway. Demyx, who'd been shunned in high school for being gay and a weirdo, was now loved and respected by his students for the same reason. Zexion suspected that Demyx would have to be forcibly retired. He'd never gotten this much positive attention in his life.

"So, what are we going to do today?" A girl with long red hair asked Demyx eagerly, bouncing in her seat. The other girls all added in their opinions, creating a clamor. This was Demyx's music theory class, a place where people came to die to learn what makes music work.

Demyx grinned cheerfully. "Today we're gonna talk about scales!" He announced. The whole class deadpanned. "Don't give me that look," Demyx scolded. "Scales are the foundation of music-making! And they're a lot more complicated than you think."

By the end of the hour, the ladies had no choice but to agree. It was collectively decided that scales suck. But, they could also all tell you the difference between a g flat minor scale and a g flat major scale, among other scales. When you're assigned a note, and you have to find the other members of your scale, it tends to stick. Sometimes, running around like kindergarteners can actually be productive, or so Demyx believed.

Zexion couldn't believe that it actually worked. Making teenage girls move around, and be active? And they actually got something out of that? They, the girls who would stand in one place during a game of dodge ball, and wait for someone to hit them?

…Demyx probably did that in gym class too. Now it all made sense.

Demyx was a teenage girl at heart. That explained everything. His mind was full of boys and music after all, and how to make those two lines intersect.

* * *

"Zexy?" Demyx began tentatively, on their drive home one day.

"Yes?"

"Why didn't you do anything with Computer Science? You spent four years of your life on it…"

"I didn't choose it for myself," Zexion explained calmly. "Ansem chose it. I never had an interest in it. I only used it as a weapon against him to show him what exactly he had created."

"He wouldn't let you do something that you wanted to do?" Demyx didn't sound all that surprised.

"I was fourteen, Demyx. I didn't know what I wanted to do. I had ideas, but at that age, you're going to change your mind. And since I wouldn't get the chance to pick anyway… I was almost grateful to him," Zexion admitted quietly. "It's difficult to decide what you want to do, and I thought that I might make the wrong decision. I wasn't as upset as I should have been about the decision being taken away from me."

"I guess that's the disadvantage to being such a genius," Demyx observed cheerfully. "I've only ever had one thing that I'm good at, so it wasn't much of a choice. It's always been that way."

"Are you certain that I'm the disadvantaged one?" Zexion asked, raising an eyebrow. "It's better to have a choice."

"But making decisions is so hard, isn't it? You're better off not having to make them," Demyx replied confidently.

"Hmm." Zexion tapped the steering wheel absently. "I see. Are you saying that you'd like me to make all of your decisions for you?"

Demyx felt like this was a trick question. There was something… off about the way Zexion was saying it. Demyx couldn't quite put his finger on it, though. Wait a sec…

"Wouldn't that be a problem for you? You don't like making decisions either."

"How right you are," Zexion agreed.

"Then why would you offer to make mine…?" Demyx felt like he was missing something important.

"Because," Zexion replied shortly.

"Because why?"

"Because I'm an enabler, all right? If you want to be lazy, I want to let you be lazy," Zexion explained quietly.

"Zexy, are you saying… that you want to spoil me?" Demyx asked hopefully.

"Something like that."

Zexion almost swerved off the road from the force of Demyx's bone-crushing hug.

"I think I'll make my own decisions," Demyx decided. "I just realized that I made a really good one. A series of really good ones, actually."

"Oh?" Zexion had an idea of what Demyx was talking about.

"Yeah. I told you how I felt, I asked you out, chased you to the Destiny Islands… Those sound like good decisions on my part." Demyx leaned on Zexion's arm.

"True," Zexion agreed. Very true.

Water droplets began to fall from the sky, splashing gently down on the world. Demyx watched them indifferently, while Zexion's attention was rapt.

"It's raining," Zexion murmured.

"Yeah."

"It rains a lot here."

"Yeah," Demyx agreed indifferently.

"I used to complain about how much it rains here," Zexion continued. "Not anymore, though."

"Why's that?"

"Because," Zexion answered with a smile, "You're like the rain."

"How so?" Demyx asked.

"You used to be so unpredictable. No matter what you or I would say or do, you would always get under my skin. I thought I hated you."

Demyx flinched. Not very positive so far.

"I don't hate the rain anymore. I've learned to expect it. Once you get used to it, it's not so unpredictable. Sometimes, I even look forward to it. Rain washes the away the filth," Zexion concluded.

"I'm not seeing the connection here, Zexy," Demyx complained. "Maybe I'd rather not. Couldn't you use a more romantic metaphor for my awesomeness?"

"Other "more romantic" metaphors are easily sexualized. I'm being romantic by not using such a metaphor."

"I dunno," Demyx murmured. "I think I could make some innuendo outta this one."

Zexion smiled. "Pervert."

"I know you are, but what am I?"

"Oh, so I'm a pervert now, am I?" Demyx should have been afraid of the look that Zexion was giving him. "Are you sure you want to call me that?"

Demyx's eyes widened. "Keep your eyes on the road, and your hands to yourself!"

"I'll pull over," Zexion offered.

"Agh, Zexy, no…"

And thus they lived, ever after.

The End

* * *

AN: Alrighty... I'd just like to say thanks again to everyone who ever read or reviewed. With this last chapter, do you think we can get to 200 reviews? I'd be so ecstatic, I might just spit out a one shot soon. *wink* *EDIT* We have reached 200 reviews. Thanks so much, guys. I've got a one shot in the works. Don't let reaching our goal stop you from continuing to review, though *END EDIT* Now, there were a lot of things that I meant to do last chapter that ending up getting left out. I was originally going to actually write out Zexion's trip to C.O., but it slipped through the cracks. I wanted to do more Akuroku, but Roxas has been a problem for me to write since 358/2 Days. Argh. I was also going to provide my official explanation for why they ended up on different worlds after the explosion, but... my official explanation involved magical computer programs, and I realized that it made more sense to just let you guys think what you want. I also wish I'd had more time during Zexion's time in the castle... I didn't give Xaldin any dialogue, and I didn't even mention who his Turk was (Rude). Likewise, Lexaeus had no lines, despite being Zexy's brother... I wanted to do more with Riku (though not Sora), but when I originally planned out the Destiny Islands part, Zexy didn't have Reno and Cissnei with him, so they kinda stole Riku's role. Niff, you may curse me now.

I mentioned in the very first chapter that I already had the ending in mind. The truth is, that ending would have cut the story off after Zexion's escape from the castle. It was the kind of ambiguous ending favored by some of the cyberpunk writers that I read. Does Zexion live? Does he make it back to Demyx? In that version of the ending, Demyx left Zexion when he found out that he was Ienzo. He did that in the endings that I came up with before, too. In the original ending, Zexion got shot and killed by a Turk. Niffstral demanded a happy ending. The next ending involved Roxas getting caught in the line of fire, getting killed, and Axel joining Zexion in his crusade against the government. When I finally settled on the ending that we have now, it was because of the first chapter written from Demyx's perspective. I realized that if he cared that much, Zexion's acts of questionable legality wouldn't matter to him, and that's how we got the ending that we have.

This story began because I had to do a presentation on cyberpunk. I developed a beginning and an ending, and worked out the middle as I went. Parts of the middle came out the way that they did because of you, my readers. I got ideas from some of the reviews that you guys left, actually. I got ideas from other places too, but we're not going to talk about those, are we, Niffniff?

Lastly, I'm taking fic requests, because my winter break is coming up soon, and it's a month long. I'll have a lot of time to write. So, if there's something that you want to see, and you think I can write it, give me a holler. I really want to write, so you'd be helping me out. For now, this is Lindoreda, saying see you next time!


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